The Waiting Game
by Kez437
Summary: What happens when Edward leaves Bella again? In his absence will Jake and Bella finally become more than friends or is it too late to even salvage that? And why is Charlie absent so much all of a sudden? Only one way to find out, wait and see.
1. Chapter 1: Haunted

**This is my first Twilight fanfic and I´m so excited to finally have it under way. The first few chapters are pretty short but they get longer soon I promise! P.S I have no rights to these characters at all, I´m just playing in Stephanie Meyers sandbox**_** :-)**_

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><p><strong>Bellas POV<strong>

As I drove back from Edwards I mused over his recent silences. Although Edward could never be described as the talkative type there was no doubt that as of the last week he had definitely become quieter. It was strange, things had changed a lot between us and it was now uncommon for him not to share his immediate thoughts with me. I tried to forget about it as I pulled into the driveway; the best I could hope for was that he would tell me soon.

A bitter wind whipped though my jacket as I got out of the truck and instantly an image of Jacob sprung to my mind. It had always been this way, the cold always reminded me of Jacob and his glowering heat. I sighed deeply as I thought of him, it had been three months since Jacob had left and despite the excitement of my engagement there was not a single day that passed that I did not miss him.

He had said that he needed space and so grudgingly I had given it to him only to be informed days later that he had left La Push. The Pack said that they heard little from him and they had no idea as to when he would return. It appeared that Sam had not had the heart to order him back and at great pains I refrained from asking him to.

As for my engagement, after some considerable gossip the news had finally died down. Alice was eager to start making plans for the wedding but I was reluctant. Although I was certain about spending the rest of my life with Edward a wedding was not my thing. Alice had continued to cajole but when I informed her that there would be no wedding unless Jacob was there she had relented.

Edward thought that I was asking too much by asking Jacob to come but I knew that Jake would be in my life forever and he would have to get used to Edward being there. Marriage was a big thing and Jake was my best friend, his absence was unimaginable to me.

Pulling my jacket tighter around me I rushed for the front door and the heat of the house. However once inside I felt disappointed for it did not warm me as much as I had wished. It was strange but I was always cold these days.

´Charlie?´ I called down the hallway as I reluctantly peeled my jacket off. I heard a grunt and on entering the living room found him asleep on the couch with the TV on. I smiled to myself, Charlie had been working really hard lately and I often felt sorry for him that he did not have a woman in his life. However he continued to spend a lot of time fishing with Billie, returning with the news that Jake remained away. I shook him gently and he immediately sat bolt upright.

I laughed at his police instinct as he looked blurrily at me.

´Bella?´

Ýes, just me. Are you hungry?´ he nodded eagerly and I proceeded to the kitchen where I began to defrost the lasagna I had made yesterday and make a quick salad. I had just changed for bed and Charlie had just headed for his bed when Edward appeared in my room. I went to him and wrapped my arms around his icy frame. He felt stiff and did not return the hug, I leant back and noticed that his face was contorted oddly.

Something was wrong.

´Edward what is it? ´I enquired as I took a step back. He did not answer me but continued to stare at a spot somewhere above my head. His behavior felt strange yet somehow familiar and I felt panic in my stomach. Finally he spoke.

´Bella I have to go, we all have to go, tonight. I have put this off much too long already, they will be getting restless.' He was making absolutely no sense.

´Ok Edward, where do we have to go and who will be getting restless?´ he cocked his head at me as if I were a curious animal and my words seemed to have confused him.

´Not you, us.´ They were only three words and yet they were enough to send a flood of fear into my entire being. I had heard words to these effect once before and it hit me then why this situation felt strangely familiar.

He was leaving me.

Again.

He saw the recognition in my eyes and finally seemed ready to offer more information.

´This is not like the last time Bella. I do not want to leave you, I have no choice. My family has no choice. Please believe me´.

I seemed unable to recall any language, I just stood there staring at him but he answered my question anyway.

´You cannot come Bella, you really can´t. It´s much too dangerous. It kills me to say this to you but I will be back. I don´t know when, months, maybe more but I will come back. I promise you that. I love you Bella and I want to be your husband and I know now, after… after last time that you will wait for me.

Somewhere in the midst of his speech I found a strange clarity. Perhaps it was because the panic was at such an advanced stage. It became clear to me that this situation was only like the last time he left me in facts, in reality it was totally different. A lot had changed and Edward had since promised never to leave me again, to always be at my side. That was one of the reasons he had asked me to be his wife. Yet now, here he was, about to break his promise and I felt anger well up in me.

He assumed that I would wait for him. He thought that it was ok to leave me here whilst he went away and that he could pick me up again when it was convenient for him. I wondered if I would live in constant fear of this when we married and I simultaneously realized that if he left me now I would never marry him. He would break us beyond repair.

Finally I found my voice although it was little more than a whisper.

`You are definitely going? Now? Tonight?`

`I have put this off as long as possible, I have got to go now but when I return we will be married´ he attempted a smile but behind it I could see the pain in his hazel eyes. It meant little to me for I now knew the pain I would suffer once he left. My anger that he would do that to me again remained and I knew that without a shadow of a doubt that I would never go back to him after he left tonight. Silently I slid the large diamond of my finger and placed it in his palm.

´I will not marry you. You promised me you would never leave me again. You´re breaking that promise and as a result you have broken us. We could never recover from this a second time´.

Although it was a rare occasion I could tell when I shocked Edward and I knew that my words had dumfounded him. He honestly believed I would wait. It still hadn´t sunk in that I had just ended our relationship and I knew that when it did I would be plagued with pain and doubt. For now though my calm detachment remained.

´Bella…´he started but I knew that he would still go and besides the damage had already been done.

´Please Edward, just don´t, I can´t hear it´. I padded softly across the carpet of my room and opened my bedroom door. I paused briefly to look at him, to take in his golden eyes, his ghostly pallor, his lithe frame. Then silently I opened the door and stepped out of it.

It hit me in the kitchen that I might never see his face or his eyes face again and I sunk to my knees in silent horror of what I had just done.

The sound of a door closing upstairs broke my reverie.

Charlie.

He could not see me like this, not again. I rose numbly to my feet, dimly aware that it was light outside now. Morning had broken but where had the night went? I was unable to recall if I had slept or if indeed I had been in the kitchen all this time.

Quietly I made my way upstairs and into my bedroom; Charlie thankfully was still in the bathroom. My room still smelt like him and I wondered dully how long that would remain? Perhaps vampire smells never disappeared and so I would have the daily torture or pleasure of his scent. I wasn't sure which it would be.

I sat on the end of my bed and surveyed my hands. I had to think. I could not put Charlie through the pain I had last time and I wasn't so sure I could survive it myself. All I wanted was to curl up into a ball and go somewhere far away where this hole in my heart did not exist. But I had tried that last time had not worked, I could not be so selfish again, I would have to try and disguise the pain a little more effectively this time. It was difficult at the present to see why I had told Edward I would not wait for him but searching for reasons was beyond my current capability. I could only act.

Today was a school day which I supposed meant I should go to school although the idea of doing something so normal after what had just happened felt wrong. I would have to face all the questions as to Edwards whereabouts, he was always at school, or at least always there when I was. People would wonder. I could lie I suppose and say he wasn´t well but there was no point, they would learn the truth soon after all. It was my last few weeks of school in the run up to my final exams, I couldn't skip school and I couldn't lie for that long either. I would have to be brave. At least then it would be over.

The thought of exams remained in my mind. Exams I had to pass to get into college. College was now something I would have to give serious thought to. Whilst all my friends had been fretting for weeks over where to apply I had worried little, Edward had been the main point of my life, college a mere blip on the side. I now had weeks to make my decision and the thought made my blood run cold. I was incapable of thinking of it at the minute.

I shut my eyes, there was too much to think about, too much to be responsible for all of a sudden. My life had altered drastically over night and I was sure that I didn't have the tools to cope. I wondered dimly how I had managed to survive last time and Jacob came straight to mind. This time I didn't have Jacob. I couldn't think about that, it sent another dagger through me. I rose and began to dress relishing the end of the day already.

School had been nearly as bad as I had thought. I had found the courage to tell my friends that Edward and I had broken up and that he and his family had moved. I tried to make it sound like this was normal, just a regular teenage break-up. I fooled no one, they had seen Edward and I together for too long to believe me. They treated me as though I was glass and I noted that this was my own fault, I had been a zombie after our last break-up. It seemed strange that I was coherent enough to notice this time. Didn't I hurt as much as I had before? As with all my questions I couldn't answer.

I was thankful for one small mercy at least, they weren't aware of our engagement.

I had broken the news to Charlie over dinner and immediately saw the look of panic in his eyes. I tried to reassure him by informing him that it had been my decision to break off the relationship. I was awarded with a look of utter shock. In many ways this fact had not yet settled with me either. Finally I made it to the solace of my room and noticed that his smell had begun to fade already. It apparently was not permanent, I did not know if u was happy or sad about this. I dreaded bed, would the nightmares come again? I tried to stay awake for as long as possible but I was fighting the inevitable, after my vigil last night and the horrors of today my body cried out for rest.

Sighing I pulled back the covers and got into bed. Within minutes I was asleep. Within hours I was bolt upright, screaming. Despite all my attempts to cope better this time I could not control my dreams. I was haunted once again.

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><p><strong>P<strong>**lease review and let me know what you thought and if I´ve made any mistakes let me know :-) I´d really appreciate it :-)**


	2. Chapter 2: Shocks

**Ok so I sort of majorly shortened the time line from Eclipse which means Bella is now only due to graduate soon after her final exams in June, currently this is May so the battle in Eclipse happened around December time. Also I´m from the UK so this is normally the time we would ´graduate´, big apology to all the Americans who I´m probably confusing to death, just try and roll with me here :-)**

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><p><strong>Charlies POV<strong>

Over the following weeks Charlie observed Bella with a mixture of concern and bewilderment. He could not quite believe that she had ended the relationship although he was glad to hear it; his feelings about Edward were after all, no surprise. Despite his initial fears she seemed to be coping better this time, he could hold a coherent conversation with her at least and she did not seem so distant. All the same the nightmares had returned. Charlie resisted the temptation to rush to her side when he heard the screams pierce the night air. He knew now that he could not help, she would be more uncomfortable knowing she had disturbed him.

He had not forgotten the last time Bella and Edward had broken up; she had been catatonic for weeks. Jacob had been the only person to have made any difference. But Jacob was still gone, he knew because he maintained his long friendship with Billie. The man had not been the same since Jacob had left and Charlie knew that he had not heard from him nor did he know when he could return.

In the meanwhile Bella studied incessantly, this would have worried Charlie if he had not spoken to parents of other kids the same age and received the same news. The exams coming up were the most important Bella was likely to ever sit and so he could not criticise her hard work. All the same he wished that she would smile sometimes or that he could hear her laugh ring through the house.

One of the reasons Charlie had not liked Edward was for his intensity. He had always been so serious and so deep. In truth he had seemed much too old for Bella although they were the same age. Even when Edward and Bella were together and she proclaimed them madly in love Charlie had been dubious. Surely if you were in love you were happy and if you were happy you smiled. Charlie had observed, long before this break up that Jacob Black was the one who made his daughter smile.

It occurred to him that her misery at the present might not all be attributed to having broke away from Edward but from missing Jacob. As a result he wished the youth home almost as much as his Father.

**Bellas POV**

In many ways I was proud of myself. I had somehow managed to convince people that I was coping. The upcoming exams were lucky in many ways because amongst my stressed and depressed peers I did not stand out and the pressure gave me something else to think about. Inside though I was not so sure she was coping. The whole in my heart had not closed. I thought of Edward a lot, of his smell and his golden eyes and what we had shared together.

He however was not the only man in my head. With every passing day that Jacob stayed away the hole in my heart seemed to widen. Although I could not discern why, he took up as much, if not more of my thoughts as Edward. My nightmares now included the fear of him never returning. The thought made me shiver. Yet if Jacob did come back I didn´t think I could face him.

I had caused him untold pain, there was no doubt whatsoever that I was the reason for his departure. And for what? It seemed so unfair that I had hurt him so much for no reason. I would be too ashamed to face him and tell him that he had been right all along about Edward. It was my own fault that I had lost the two men that I loved.

I had told Edward I would not wait for him mere months after I had told Jacob that I could not have lived without him, that I loved Edward more. During my many lonely nights I had wondered if this was the truth. I had lied for so long about loving Jacob what if I had lied about who I had loved more? What if I had made a mistake about which man it was I couldn't live without? I didn't know how to answer this but it troubled me that it was Jacob who now possessed my every waking thought. Edwards golden eyes were being eclipsed by Jacobs brown ones, his smell by Jacobs woody one. Although I did not want to admit it to myself I knew that it was Jacob I craved to see.

I had officially messed up my life.

**Jacobs POV**

I had finally caved. Although my time away and been a balm to my wounded heart I no longer sought the complete solace I had once craved. I longed to hear my brothers voices in my head, I wanted to run through my familiar forest and howl to the moon with them. I could not deny my worry for my father any longer, I had been negligent and above all this I had missed his company and his wisdom terribly. It was time to go home. I hoped that in these six months that she had married and left. I could not bear to see the vampire version of her. But she knew that and I knew she cared enough for me to try and stay away.

With these hopes in my heart I bounded across the line where I had recalled I had lost my brothers thoughts. As soon as I did I felt them. I was close enough to home now for us to hear one another although I was still many miles from La Push.

_´Jacob!´_

_´You´re home!´_

_´It´s so good to hear you again!´_

_´We´re coming Jacob! We´re coming!´_

They´re voices ran over each other in my head and their excitement laced through my veins. I had not realized how much I had missed them, being a lone wolf was not the same at all. I sprinted to meet them and when we finally did we ran at one another brushing our soft fur against each other, chasing, nipping, rubbing noses. I was alive with happiness, and I could feel the magic in my blood tingle at the reunion. Then as one the pack turned and howled their pleasure to the sky.

**Billys POV**

Miles away in his cabin Billy Black heard the howling and hope stirred in his heart. The pack had not howled once since their brother, his son had left. This meant he had returned. Billy made his way as quickly as he could outdoors where he stopped and looked into the forest for any sign of movement.

It had been six long months since Jacob had left and Billy had missed him more than he thought possible. Jacob was his only son and they shared a close bond. When his daughters had left home Billy had been sad but it had felt like the natural course for them, the small, close knit community of La Push was not for them. In their absence Jacob and he had become closer and reliant upon one another. Billy had lived in fear that Jacob too would want to leave the tribe that Billy loved so dear.

Then at sixteen Jacob phased. Billy had been aware of the risk, Jacob was after all a direct descendent of Ephraim Black and the pack presence has returned when the Cullens had moved back to Forks. The likelihood of Jacob leaving La Push was now slim, he was one of their chosen defenders after all but this did not bring Billy any happiness. Jacob had resented the change and loathed the Cullens for what they had done to him; he had saw the magic in his blood as a curse making him a prisoner.

Billy had been broken hearted to find Jacob feeling this way, he longed for him to see the pride in his position. Finally after months of struggle it seemed that Jacob had begun to accept his change and he protected the tribe with vigor. However he was not the pack leader as Billy knew he ought to be but they never spoke of this. Billy had simply been glad to have a son who was happy in La Push and who had grown to love it as he did. Jacob brought him untold pride. His subsequent departure had nearly destroyed Billy.

The howls that resonated through the night sky brought delight into his heart. At a tribal meeting the silence of the pack had been raised. Some of the elders expressed their disappointment that the pack no longer howled; they liked to be reminded of their protectors, of their culture and their history. They were proud of their wolves and their howls brought smiles to their faces. Sam Uley had been unwavering in his response. The pack would not howl until their brother returned. They were in mourning, an incomplete family. They had only and would continue to howl only when they all shared their mental link. Until then they would maintain their silence.

Billy had been touched and proud of Sam´s response and it made him realize that he was not the only one who missed Jacob bitterly. His brothers longed for his return.

It seemed that the long awaited day had arrived. As the sun began to set, shedding a copper colour across the land the trees stirred. The pack rushed out, at their front in his human form was Jacob. Billy understood that his son had changed so that he could greet him properly but his human form did not hinder him. He ran at a sprint ahead of his brothers and did not stop until he had flung himself around Billys neck.

Tears welled in the old man's eyes as he felt the familiar embrace of his son. When they broke apart he was surprised to see that Jacob too and tears, one escaped and ran freely down his cheek.

´Welcome home son´

They were the only words Billy could manage but they summed up everything he had to say in that moment.

**Jacobs POV**

Although my brothers were excited enough to have me home that they could have roamed the forest all night I had travelled many miles in a few days in my haste to get home and I needed sleep. In the end Sam had to order them to leave, his alpha voice resonated strangely in my head but I assumed it was just because I was unused to hearing their voices.

I had been delighted to see my Dad, so much so that I was ashamed to admit that I had nearly cried. Although I looked so much like a man I felt that I would never have the wisdom and peace that my Dad had. If I became a man half like him I would be proud of myself.

We spoke for a while over a heated casserole that Sue had left and then I professed my need for a shower. I had spent the best part of my six months away as a wolf as a result I was grimy and badly in need of a shave not to mention the fact that I kept knocking into things, totally unaware of my human body. Billy nodded and I retreated into the small, familiar bathroom, the hot shower on my aching muscles felt great. Due to my time as a wolf I had become physically much stronger, running for many miles every day, now even in my human form I could nearly match the speed of my brothers when they were wolves. Still my hike had taken its toll and I longed for rest.

I exited the steamy room and went to say goodnight to Billy but he called me back.

´Jacob sit down please, I need to talk to you´ his voice was unusually grave and I hastened to obey him, fears of his health surfaced in my mind and my guilt at leaving him intensified. He dispelled these fears at once.

´It´s about Bella´ my heart went cold at his words. I had not heard her name since my return, I had expected it to surface unwillingly in my brothers minds but it had not. I suspected that Sam had forbidden them to think of her in order to save me the pain of hearing about her. It was my Dad therefore who the job fell to; he must want to tell me about their marriage, about her becoming a vampire and whether she had left. I didn´t want to hear about it but I had to know, I had to get it over with so that I could get on with my life.

Billy seemed to read my thoughts.

´She´s not a vampire Jacob, she´s not married, she hasn´t left. They broke up, the Cullens have left, Bella is alone in Forks. It was her who ended their relationship´.

My world rocked curiously on its side. I had spent the last six months becoming accustomed to the idea that I would never have the girl I loved. I had prepared myself for her being married and a vampire. I hadn´t prepared for what Billy had told me. I didn't think I had the resources to cope with this revelation but despite this hope flared in my heart.

No. I could not, I would not. She had chosen him over me, that he had left made no difference, I would not be second best. I had to salvage some pride from this and I couldn't bear to be chosen just because Edward had gone. Yet she had ended their relationship according to Billy. I knew that he would have found this out from Charlie but I wasn´t sure I believed it. My mind was reeling but time alone had taught me that I had a tendency to be too hasty, sometimes it was better to wait, better to do nothing. I had chased Bella Swan enough, I would not make a fool of myself anymore.

I rose to my feet.

´If she wants me she knows where to find me´ I told my Dad as I made my way to bed.

**Billys POV**

Billy stared at the retreating back of his son in both shock and pride. It seemed that is his six months away Jacob had grown up. Before this he would have been on his way to Forks in an instant. His boy had grown into a man, one who knew patience, who thought before he acted, one who had pride it seemed patience that stretched only so far.

Bella Swan had long been the weak point of Jacob. Despite the anguish she caused his son Billy liked the girl immensely and he was convinced she did not mean to hurt him. Jacob however was passionate and stubborn; he had refused to give up on her and as a result he had been deeply hurt. It seemed that the rejection and subsequent pain had made him grow up.

Bella Swan was the one weak point Jacob had. If he had truly conquered it then there was no doubt in Billys mind that Sam Uley would not have long left as pack alpha. It seemed that the time was close for Jacob to inherit his full legacy. The next few months would be critical.

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><p><strong>Again I would really appreciate your reviews and I promise the next few Chapters are longer! Can´t wait to hear what you all think :-)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3: Too Late to Start Again?

**Oooh he´s back! I love Jacob, it might be my story and only three Chapters in but I really missed him :-)**

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><p><strong>Bellas POV<strong>

I had to see him. I had to. Charlie had come home five nights ago from La Push with the news that Jacob had returned. He had been home for a week now. For a full week he had been only fifteen minutes from me. I had resisted at all cost but it was utterly fruitless, I couldn't keep it up, I had to see him.

I was in my truck and following the familiar and much missed road to La Push before I knew it. Excitement coursed through my veins at the thought of seeing him. I could not entertain the idea that he would not want to see me. I just needed to be sure that he was real, that he was not some fanciful illusion I had created.

I pulled quickly into the yard in front of the garage and got out before my courage deserted me. I could hear voices inside and I walked toward them, the sound of the laugh I had dreamed of for months drawing me forward. I stopped in the doorway.

´Shit´ said one of the boys at the sight of me and the other coughed awkwardly but they were outside my consciousness. My eyes had finally found him and the sight was more beautiful than I had ever dreamed.

He stood in cut off jeans and no top, his tan, muscular physique glinting in the sun that shone through the doors. His jaw was strong and sprinkled with stubble, his lips round and full, his cheekbones were high and his nose straight. To me he looked like an angel and there was no doubt he had gotten stronger and better looking since I last seen him. In fear I searched for his eyes.

The dark pools of chocolate met mine and I sucked in my breath, I was entranced as I had ever been, astounded by the beauty of his soul that shone through. But there was a change, his eyes were not smiling at me.

He walked toward me with the familiar grace I could not fathom someone so large could have. He stopped close in front of me and I was finally rewarded with his voice.

´Bella why are you crying?´ his words confused me. I lifted my hand to my face and felt that it was indeed damp with tears. I had been crying silently as I looked at him. I answered him honestly.

´Because I thought I would never see you again´.

**Jacobs POV**

I was astounded at the fact that Bella Swan was standing in my garage. Despite my words to Billy I had never fully believed that it would be her that would come and see me. I expected myself to cave and go to her. The sight of her both elated an alarmed me.

She was dressed in a huge jumper despite the warm day we had been lucky to have and her her hair was tied up roughly. She seemed smaller, thinner and there were grey circles around her eyes. This however was nothing to the fact that tears were dripping unchecked of her chin and she had not even been aware. Had she been this frightened of never seeing me again?

I felt a wave of guilt but pushed it down, this situation was extremely complicated.

I shot a look at Quil and Embry who were looking at Bella in horror. Granted, her behavior was worrying. Thankfully they retreated quietly although I did not think Bella was aware that they had ever been there. As I turned my gaze back on her I noted how she was still looking at me, her eyes roamed ceaselessly over me as if she was unsure I was real. As if to confirm this she lifted one hand and stroked my cheek as if in utter awe of my being. I could take no more of this. I pulled her to me and enveloped her in a hug.

She cried uncontrollably against my chest and although I felt the tears stream down my body I did not release her. We stood there for what seemed like an age and a second all at one time. Eventually her sobs subsided and she drew away brushing her eyes.

´Sorry´ she whispered. I shook my head.

´You don´t have to say sorry to me Bells´

´If there is anyone in this world I need to apologise to Jake it´s you. I was a fool. You were right all along and I never listened, instead I hurt you´.

I was shocked by her words, Bella had never been so frank with me before. I had harbored a small hope that when we did meet we wouldn't have to talk about this; I wasn´t sure I could but there seemed to be little choice. I gestured to one of the wooden seats and she sat. I took the other close to her.

'Tell me what happened Bells´ I asked in a gentle voice.

For a while she was silent.

'He came to me and told me that they were leaving, all of the Cullens. It was the same as last time at first, he told me that I couldn't come and to start with I couldn't understand what was happening. But then he explained that he had no choice this time that he had to go, that I couldn't go too but he couldn't tell me why. He told me he still wanted to marry me, he promised he would come back for me.´

Despite myself my heart sank at her words. Billy had been wrong; Bella had not ended their relationship. In fact their engagement was still on. Edward had merely left for a while but when he returned she would be Mrs Cullen. Mrs Cullen the vampire. I felt bile rise in my throat and I could no longer look at her. She sensed my thoughts and took my hand in hers, lacing her fingers through mine, before I could pull away she spoke again.

´I told him I would not wait for him Jacob, I told him not to come back, that I wouldn´t marry him.´

My head snapped up in shock as she smiled wanly at my expression.

'Why?´I had to know.

'After the last time he promised me he would never leave me again. He was breaking his promise. It made me realise that he was not worth´ she stopped abruptly and looked at me fearfully.

'He was not worth what Bella?' I encouraged.

When she spoke again she looked straight into my eyes and shivers riveted up my spine.

'He was not worth losing you for´.

A silence followed her words. I did not know what to say. Did this mean she wanted us to be together? She had told me that she had loved him more; she had chosen Edward over me. Did her last words mean that she thought she had made a mistake? Did Edward breaking his promise make Bella realise that she had chosen wrongly or did it simply mean that she realised he was not worth leaving all of her friends and family behind? I knew that Bella considered me her best friend, was this what she had been thinking when she had told him she would not wait or had she been thinking of me as I thought of her?

There were too many questions and I wasn't sure I could put any of them into words. Besides I wasn´t so sure that Bella would have the answers. I wondered where this left us; we had not spent any time together since we had learnt that we were both in love with one another and now this had happened. I was much more tentative now than I had been before; Bella had hurt me a lot and I wasn't sure how I wanted to proceed. I needed time, as I was sure she did too but I didn't think time apart would bring me the answers this time and I did not have the energy to walk away from her again.

Could we be friends even thought we were admittedly in love? It was the only solution I could come up with. Our love wasn´t straight forward, there was much confusion in between but surely there was enough for us to base a friendship on without us hurting one another. I looked up to find her gazing at me. She had watched my inner debate unfold across my face and looked anxiously for me to talk.

´I´m hungry. Do you wanna go grab something to eat?´ my words brought a smile to her face and I could see tears glistening in her eyes again.

We stood and as we made our way to my car her fingers laced through mine once more. I noted that this was not normal ´friends´ behavior, but then we had never had been normal. I could feel that in the near distance on the border of the woods my pack stood watching. There would be hell to pay when I came back but until then I would relish the feel of the hand of the girl I loved finally in mine.

**Bellas POV**

I was in utter shock that Jacob had agreed to strike up our friendship again. That he had welcomed me back with open arms despite all I had done to him. Then again Jacob´s kindness and patience had always astounded me. My thoughts were far from coherent as we walked across the yard. I couldn't draw my eyes away from his face, it hadn´t quite struck me yet that this was real, that he was finally here. His face was so beautiful it made my heart ache.

His body made me blush, although Jacob had spent a lot of time around me half naked I don't think I had ever been so aware of his physique. His arms had gotten bigger and his abs looked rock hard, when I wasn´t looking at his face I was staring at his body. I hope he hadn't noticed. When he drew his hand from mine to pull on a t-shirt I immediately felt cold. This permanent state of mine had changed as soon as I had come in contact with Jacob, it made me want to hold him forever.

I wasn't so sure how this would work. Could we be friends when we so obviously meant more to one another? Despite his silent agreement to try I knew that it wasn´t only my confusion that stopped us becoming more. I had hurt Jacob a lot and I got the sense that he would not try to push our relationship this time, there were only so many rebukes any guy could take. It would be up to me to decide what we were and if I wanted more it would have to be who made the move. The thought made me cower.

I had been questioning my reasons for telling Edward I wouldn't wait for some time and I had realized that as much as I loved him I couldn't give up my family and my friends for someone who insisted on leaving me with such increasing regularity. I had tried to convince myself that this was the whole truth of it but seeing Jacob made me face up to the fact that it was not losing Rene, or Jessica or even Charlie that had forced the decision but the thought of having a life without Jacob. Edward was not worth that sacrifice.

Before Edward had left I still thought of Jacob. I had never wondered at those times whether I made the right decision but I couldn't deny that in the few snatches of the day that I had alone my mind would turn to our kiss. The heat, the feel, it was burned in my memory and I could not deny the thought that if I never saw Jacob again I was at least glad we had shared that kiss.

But now here we were together. I didn't have the answers to the most important questions yet but Jacob had lent me time. Time that I was eternally grateful for. Time in which I had to work out whether I had lied to myself about loving Edward more. Time to work out whether I had made a mistake and if so whether I would be able to salvage anything from it.

In the mean time we would rewind to simpler times, when we were just friends. There was nothing in the world I needed more. All the same when we got into my truck (after relinquishing the keys to Jacob) I slid over so that my side was pressed against his and took his hand in my own. There was only so much we could pretend after all and I needed his warmth more than he would ever know.

My heart soared when he squeezed it in return and showed me one of his dazzling smiles. I could finally feel the heat of the day.

**Jacobs POV**

The day with Bella had been, well strange. The beginning had been downright alarming not to mention pretty awkward but as the day progressed and we shared some food some of our normality returned. We had discussed the most pressing issues which left us free to forget about the mess we had both created and the shreds which remained of our hearts. I was delighted to make her laugh, I had always known that I had a special talent there (something I was admittedly quite smug about) and I had the feeling it had been a while since she had.

When I left her the question as to when we would meet next lingered painfully in the air. However much I hated to put her out was not prepared to cock this up once again. It was all on her side now. She had surprised me by telling me that she would ´text me´. Bella had always had a strange aversion to technology but it saved her having to answer immediately.

I walked back into the house with a smile on my face. I knew my Dad noticed but thankfully he didn't ask and I proceeded to my room in my own happy world. This wouldn't last long, I had to run patrols that night and my brothers would not be so easily appeased. In the mean time it occurred to me that I should probably try to find my phone. I was different to Bella in that I lived so close to my friends and we were so closely linked that the idea of phoning or texting one another was ludicrous. I chuckled to myself at the thought. Finally after destroying half my room I found it. It was dead. Typical. I then spent the following half an hour searching for the charger which had somehow found its way underneath the sofa in the living room. By this time I was hungry again so I threw together a sandwich, followed swiftly by two more.

´Jacob´ my Dads voice echoed from the living room. I grunted to let him know that I was listening but currently unable to speak. This was typical communication for us.

´Are you not meant to be running patrols tonight?´ being the leader of the tribe my Dad was parry to more pack info than anyone outside it. I was unusually grateful of this. I grunted in confirmation.

´Well its seven fifteen already´ he responded.

Shit! I was meant to start at seven and I would have enough to deal with tonight without being berated for being late. I swallowed the last part of my sandwich hole and made for the door.

´Thanks Dad!´ I yelled as I stripped off on my way out the door. The minute I phased it begun.

Sam's alpha voice overrode the rest.

_'You're late.'_

_'I know, I know I´m sorry I didn't realise the time.'_

_´Not good enough Jacob.´_

_I grumbled but didn't have long._

_´Jake what the fuck man?´_

_Helpful Jared, real helpful._

_'Well he's summed it up well, you went away to get over her and now you're back like what a week and she's here again, it's fucked up!' Paul insisted._

_I couldn´t disagree and I heard satisfaction from him that I thought this._

_´What was going on with her this morning though?´ Embry´s mind was full of the hysterical Bella and I cringed that the whole pack got to see this. I didn't really know._

_´So what´s the deal now are you together?´_

_´No. It´s complicated. At the minute we're just friends´ I thought in reply to Quils question. They knew that I was telling the truth and after they poked around in my head a little more they discovered that I had nothing more of interest or importance to tell them. Then a presence who had been strangely quiet raised her voice when the other moved to different topics. Leah._

_´At the minute. You can't be friends with Bella Swan Jacob, you love her too much´. Although she tried to hide it from me I could see that she thought mockingly of the friendship she and Sam were supposed to share through this pack. It was impossible, she hated him and she loved him._

_´Perhaps´ she replied snarling at my intrusion into her thoughts ´But at least I don't try to pretend we're friends´._

_I couldn't argue with her there, Leah´s hostility to Sam remained intact, she did only the bare necessity required for the pack because she hated to hear inside his head and vice versa. I tried to shake away her comments about me and Bella._

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><p><strong>Please review. If your feeling really nice :-) I promise I´ll love you forver if you do :-)<strong>


	4. Chapter 4: Technology

**:-D**

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><p><strong>Jacobs POV<strong>

The week passed slowly. I had finished school last September. Since then I had been busy with the upcoming battle, then I was away and then thrilled to be home. Now however normality had settled in. Although I was glad to be out of school it meant that I had to start thinking seriously about my future. I needed to make a living. Thankfully whilst some of my other brothers were indecisive about what to do I knew where my heart lay. I longed to be a mechanic. Already I did a lot of work on cars for the people in La Push but I wanted my garage to be bigger and I wanted more official work. To get that I would need to get properly trained. I printed the forms off the website for the local technological college and sat down one evening to fill them in.

However what I had expected to be a name, age, grades sort of deal turned into something much more complicated.

'Future ambitions, greatest achievement to date, my five year personal goal, past practical experience, extracurricular activities, hobbies, strengths and weaknesses´ I read the titles out to Quil and Embry in the garage one night. They burst out laughing.

I however was not amused.

'Guys seriously, how am I gonna fill this out? Why the hell do they need to know all this?´ Academics had never been my strong point hence my decision for practical work, filling this form out well was beyond me, I was not good with words.

'Well´ said Quil who finally seemed ready to help. He pointed to the first title.

'Future ambitions; you could write to sleep with Bella Swan and that would tie nicely into your greatest achievement to date of kissing Bella Swan although you might want to add in a few numbers on your vampire kills´.

I hit him round the head.

Hard.

'Ah Jake, ease off´ he complained. I ignored him. My stomach was bubbling with anxiety; I really wanted to get into this course. What was I gonna do?

'I'm heading to bed guys, I´ll see you tomorrow´.

I felt rather than saw them exchange a look behind my back but they knew not to push me. They knew I was pissed.

I said a curt night to my Dad as I passed though the living room and then flopped miserably onto my bed. Somewhere a red light flashed. I ignored it but soon it got annoying. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was. After much scrambling and after banging my head hard of the bed frame I found my phone under my bedside unit.

I had a message! It could only be from Bella. How could I have forgotten? I had spent the last week checking my phone like a mad man. I clicked the open button and read the text with bated breath.

**Hey Jake how's your week been?**

That was it. I stared dumbly at the words. It had been sent only fifteen minutes ago. I don't know what I was expecting. A direct invitation for us to meet? I sure as hell wasn't expecting to strike up a conversation with her over text.

Fuck. I groaned to myself. What the hell did I reply? Then I read the message again. Ok so it wasn't that complicated. I swear the girl turned me into an idiot. I began a reply.

This texting lark was hard. The buttons were tiny! I kept hitting two in one go. Finally though I had a message formed. I read it through once more before I clicked send.

**Hey Bells, it's been ok, pretty quiet. How's school been?**

It seemed ok, nothing in there to suggest that I was the jabbering idiot I felt like. I was going to ask her how her week had been but then I realized it would look like I copied her so I had come up with the school idea.

I was ridiculously pleased with myself over this.

I clicked send and then smiling to myself began to strip for bed. I had only managed to lift my top up before the phone beeped to life.

There was no way she could have responded already!

Struggling out of the t-shirt I lunged for the phone.

She had written back already! This texting stuff was crazy quick! I didn't even have time to think. I pressed the open button again.

Shit this one would be a lot harder to reply to.

**It's been ok, lots of work but what can I expect. Do you have any plans for the weekend?**

What in the world was I going to say to that? Was she hinting that she wanted us to meet at the weekend? But then why would she mention she had lots of school work? Did she want to meet or not?

I shook my head, even to myself I sounded like an idiot. I needed to snap out of this. This was Bella and although I might be in love with her we were also best friends, she knew me. This was just a simple conversation. Bella didn't do the whole ´girl talk´ that other girls did. At least I didn´t think she did. I had never really been with another girl like that so I couldn´t really be that sure.

I shook my head again. I would just respond naturally. I typed out a message again with difficulty and pressed send before I could debate any longer.

**That doesn't sound so fun. No, no plans yet, I think I'll just be taken it easy? What about you?**

Her reply came before my sweats had even reached my ankles. I nearly murdered myself my launching for the phone and tripping. Catching myself just in time I settled on the floor and read.

**It hasn't been. No nothing planned with me. Charlie has to go out of town tomorrow for a big meeting in Seattle and won't be back until Sunday. Do you wanna maybe call round for a pizza and a movie? **

My heart leapt as I read the words on the screen. Bella, pizza, alone in a house. It sounded like heaven and as much as I loved my brothers company we had been in each others´ head a lot these two weeks. It would be good to get out of La Push. I tried not to think about the fact that Charlie would be gone the whole night and why Bella had told me this and what it might mean.

We were just friends, I reminded myself. I had the feeling I would be reminding myself of that a lot.

I replied from my place on the floor, it was surprisingly comfortable.

**Yeah that sounds good although I think we might need more than one pizza. I have a feeling your using me because you're afraid to be alone in the house all night, would I be right Miss Swan? :-)**

I tried to inject a bit of humor into this message, I tried to grasp the idea that I should be texting her as if I were talking to her and it was unlikely that I would have gone so long without making a joke or teasing her. I was especially chuffed at my smiley face. I could get the hang of this technology lark, only one with bigger buttons.

I decided to remain where I was until she replied to avoid any further near accidents but this message took a little longer than the rest.

**Ok so we'll get more than one pizza Does eight suit ok? I think it might be the other way around Mr Black, I'm not using you, I'm using the free house as an excuse to see you.**

My stomach did flips at her reply. I could definitely get used to this texting, did this count as flirting? I didn't know but I didn't care. It felt natural and it was fun.

**Eight suits perfect. I'll bring the movie, I've seen your selection and there is no way in hell I'm sitting through any of that crap. You don't need an excuse to see me, for you I´m free any time, you should know that by now.**

I wondered if I was pushing this too far but at least I could retreat easier with this. I had told a fib too, I would sit through anything she wanted to watch; even if, heaven forbid it was Romeo and Juliet. I grimaced and decided to get to my feet, the once surprisingly comfortable floor was getting pretty cold on my backside. I managed to step out of my sweats and get into bed before her next text rang through.

**If you bring anything involving blood and gore I promise you I'm not watching it, I'll be sick. So you mean when it's your turn to run patrols and I want to see you that I get priority? **

I laughed out loud at her reply, it was true that she got queasy at blood and she knew that the one time I could not see her was when I had to run patrols. This time my reply came easily.

**Ok no blood, you being sick would kinda ruin the night. Patrols is the only time I can't see you, if you want I could risk it but it's quite likely Sam would rip my head off or as he once threatened the end of my tail.**

She replied instantly.

**The end of your tail? That's hilarious! But no that's ok, I know what that fluffy object means to you so I'll let you off with the patrols. I'm going to go to sleep now Jake but I'm excited to see you tomorrow already. **

Lying in bed reading this message was like heaven to me. Knowing that she was excited to see me was like music to my wounded soul. I replied quickly.

**Night, night Bells, I hope you sleep well. I'm looking forward to tomorrow too.**

I was asleep minutes after I sent this and when I woke in the morning it was to the noise of my phone. Groggily I opened my eyes and fumbled for the offensive device. Still half asleep I opened the message flashing for me.

**Just thought I'd say good morning and remind you to bring the movie, see you at eight Jake. **

A grin stretched wide across my face. This was going to be a good day. As I hauled myself out of bed I wondered briefly why I had ever hated mobile phones, they were the simply the best device ever created.

**Bellas POV**

It was utterly ludicrous but I was virtually skipping around the house on Saturday. Charlie who was having a near nervous breakdown over leaving me alone for a whole night was baffled my good mood. I debated about telling him whether or not Jake was coming over but when he sat me down to tell me that he was going to ring the station and get one of his colleagues to sit outside the house all night ´just in case´ I relented.

´Jacob´ he said suspiciously like I was intending to have a house party instead.

´Yes Jacob´

´Hmm´ he muttered to himself as he left the kitchen but it was not before I caught the shadow of a smile on his face. Charlie always had had a soft spot for Jake, it was like he was the angel incarnate and Edward had been the devil. Perhaps I was finally beginning to see his point of view properly.

Charlie left early and I spent the rest of the day tidying the house. It was the first time I had bothered to do anything other than schoolwork but today I could not face books. I had been a little better since I had saw Jake last weekend but the nightmares still remained. Strangely despite his return Jacob was still a prominent feature of them. I still woke screaming and although I had spent a lot of the week thinking back to my time with Jake I still felt a deep pang when I thought of Edward. As a result I tried not to; it was a place I was not ready to go to yet.

In my stupor the house had become horrifyingly dusty. I settled myself in for a day of hard work, something I strangely relished.

When I finally stopped to look at the clock it was half seven.

'Damn!'I had been so engrossed that I hadn't realised the time, nor had I stooped for food. Pushing the vacuum into the cupboard I raced upstairs to the shower.

I had barely pulled on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt when I heard Jake knock the door. A second later he opened it;

'Bella?' I heard him call.

'I'll be down in a second, go ahead and order the pizza.' I stumbled to my desk where I managed to locate some make-up, I put on the bare minimum wondering all the time why I was bothering. This was Jacob after all.

I realised once I got down the stairs and into the kitchen why I had bothered.

It should be illegal to be this good looking and even more illegal for me to have apparently only realised it. Despite my vague attempt with the make-up I was still blatantly aware of my roughly towel dried hair and simple outfit.

Jake stood beside the phone smiling at me as he placed the order. He wore grey sweats and a dark green t-shit over which he had pulled on a black leather jacket. I had never been aware that you could wear sweats and a leather jacket together until now but apparently you could, or well Jake could anyway. He was as tanned and as toned as ever and my heart could have burst with joy at seeing him. I was barely aware of what he was saying down the phone but I didn't care.

**Jacobs POV**

I was rambling terribly down the phone to the pizza girl at the other end. My order came out strangely and she kept repeating it back to me in full sentences as if I was stupid. I had been doing fine until Bella had come into the room.

It was obvious that she was only out of the shower. Her face still had the rosy glow and she smelled divine even from where I was standing. Her long dark hair was tousled and damp as it hung well past her shoulders. As always she looked beautiful, her dark eyes big and her lips deliciously pink and full.

The leggings and t-shirt she wore were criminally clingy although I knew Bella well enough to know that if she had realized this she would have had them off in an instant. Thankfully she didn't and I was able to observe the soft curves of her body. I swallowed and then realised that the pizza woman had hung up, I muttered a goodbye in the hope that Bella had not noticed that I had been having a solo conversation whilst staring at her.

'Hey Jake' she spoke softly breaking my spell a little.

I was acting like a twat and unless I snapped out of it quickly she would definitely notice.

'Hey Bells, how's your day been?'

'Good, I cleaned the house' she beamed as if this was the most pleasurable experience in the world.

I could show her a much more pleasurable exper…

Shut up! Shut up! I chanted to my brain, now was not the time to be having _those _sorts of Bella thoughts.

'Ok well that sounds like loads of fun'.

What a lame response.

I hope she thought I was being sarcastic. I suppose I was but I hadn´t had time to make it sound that way, I had just said the first thing that came into my head. To my relief she giggled.

'It's very cleansing' she replied defiantly and finally I had time to get a grip on myself.

'For you or the house?' she giggled again and I couldn't help but smile.

'You should try it sometime. How long will the pizza be anyway?'

Shit, tricky subject. I tried to recall the pizza womans voice. It was useless.

'Eh half an hour I think' I was totally making this up. Please don´t notice, I pleaded in my head.

'That's strange, usually they're a lot quicker'

Damn. But then she continued talking.

'But wait, I keep forgetting it's a Saturday, I suppose they'd be busy tonight.' I vigorously nodded my agreement and suggested we move to the living room.

'Did you bring a DVD?' she enquired as I followed her in, trying desperately not to stare at her ass.

Just friends, just friends.

'Eh yeah.' I pulled the box from the inside of my leather jacket and handed it to her.

'Abduction' she read the title aloud skeptically.

'Yeah Quill leant me it, he says it's really good, and there's no blood; I specifically asked him.' I was delighted with myself by my choice of movie, it was something I could watch and hopefully she could too. I was excited to see it.

'You do realize this is gonna give me nightmares about being abducted tonight when you leave' she said a smile playing on her face. I was about to reply that I didn´t have to leave but that would be way too forward.

'You strike me as the type of person who has nightmares at everything so what's another one to add to the list.' I grinned but to my horror I saw a strange look come over her face and she quickly averted her eyes and changed the subject.

I had been joking of course but did Bella really have nightmares? The thought chilled me; I hated the idea of her being so frightened. Perhaps I should stay tonight; I would phase and stay outside. She would never know but all of a sudden I did feel that she shouldn't be left entirely alone. She had always been a danger magnet after all but it saddened me to know that from out there I could do nothing to alleviate the fears that rose from the nightmares.

That's if she really did have them. I didn't know for sure after all. I sincerely hoped that I was wrong.

Ten minutes after we had settled ourselves down on the sofa the doorbell rang. I saw Bella tense beside me.

'Who can that be? It can´t be the pizza?' she wondered aloud. I noticed that she was very jumpy. Strange. I offered to go to the door.

It was the pizza. Clearly my guess had been totally wrong. When I walked back into the living room carrying the boxes Bella raised her eyebrows.

'Eh they were doing another delivery in the area so they grouped ours together' I lied quickly. However her eyebrows were still raised and I noticed now that she was looking at what I carried.

'Three large pizzas Jake and 2 liters of Coke, there is no way we'll get through all that!' She exclaimed. Clearly she had forgotten my eating habits.

'Bella I haven't eaten since like 5 O Clock. I'm _starving_´ she rolled her eyes and giggled and I heard her mutter 'Forever the werewolf' under her breath. I wondered briefly if she meant this as a good thing as a bad thing.

Chill out. I had to reprimand myself. I was over thinking everything, at this rate I'd die of a hernia before I left.

I tucked enthusiastically into the pizza as Bella half heartedly ate by my side. We decided to wait until after we had eaten to put the movie on which was good as I could only concentrate on one thing at a time. I tried not to get concerned when I saw how little she ate, we had only just struck up our friendship again now was not the time to reprimand her.

Once we had finished the three boxes lay empty. I saw Bells smile at me fondly when I lay back on the sofa patting my stomach.

'Well I did tell you I would finish them all' I answered her smile. She simply rolled her eyes and bent down to put the movie on.

Don't stare. Don't stare. I chanted inwardly to myself. It seemed like an age before she rose and sat beside me on the sofa.

I shifted to get comfortable as the movie began, although Bella sat beside me she we weren´t touching. She was sitting with her legs crossed Indian style in what I thought looked a highly uncomfortable position.

I began to sweat.

'Bells, it's roasting in here! Can we turn the heating down?' I wondered silently how she could live in such heat, even for a normal person this must be nearly unbearable.

'I'm cold' she muttered, a blush spreading over her cheeks. I wondered why she was embarrassed about this but I was too hot to wonder. I got up and passed into the kitchen to the closet where I knew the heating dial was. I had spent a lot of time in this house over the years after all. I turned the dial down by a good few degrees and then made my way back. I turned the light off as I entered the living room making the screen of the movie glow brightly.

Bella was looking at me with uncertainty, as I sat back down beside her. Silently I pulled her toward me until she was resting against my chest. I couldn't really form words to explain why I done this but it felt right with Bella and it made no sense her being cold when I was here.

To my surprise I felt her relax almost immediately, she unwrapped her legs and sank against me properly her hand resting on my stomach sending shivers up my spine. I heard her sigh deeply as her shoulders relaxed and I felt ridiculously smug that I could make her feel this way. I turned my attention to the screen trying to ignore the burning where her hand lay and how impossibly right this felt.

The movie was good, Quil had not exaggerated for once and soon I was drawn in by the quick moving plot. It was some time later when I felt Bella move beneath me and I paid attention to her heartbeats. They were slow and steady, matching her breath. Suddenly she turned to face me and my suspicions were confirmed. She was fast asleep. I tried to control my own heartbeat as she snuggled closer into my chest trying to get comfortable. I slid down a little on the sofa and brought my arms around her to support her; she relaxed into them her hand now resting on my bicep. Her face was pressed flat against me, her eyelids fluttering as she slept.

My heart ached. She was the most beautiful thing in the world right now. Her face was smooth, utterly relaxed and I knew that despite everything we had been through I desired the same thing I had always done. For her to be mine.

I stared at her for an inappropriate amount of time and then dragged my eyes back to the movie. I hadn't a clue what was going on now, shit. Quil would definitely ask me and my response would indicate a lot, if I couldn't remember things he would suspect we had been doing something else. I focused furiously for a while until I heard a sound that made my heart stop.

'Jake'

At first I thought she had woken but when I looked at her I realised that she was still sleeping. She was saying my name in her sleep, _my _name. I grinned widely my head swelling and my heart soaring. I would have done a victory dance there and then if she hadn´t been lying over me.

The movie ended shortly after and thankfully I was able to deduce enough about what I had missed. Curiously the ensuing silence seemed to disturb Bella, she groaned and shifted until eventually she opened her eyes. She saw my face immediately and at first I registered relief on her face then the confusion followed.

'Jake' she muttered again and then as if burned she jumped upright. I laughed.

'It's ok Bells, I forgive you' I laughed again as she blushed furiously. Although I dreaded leaving her I knew that she needed to sleep.

'I should get going' I stated and at first I saw fear flicker into her eyes. For all her bravado staying alone in the house obviously worried her, no wonder, she was aware what monsters this world held now. I would definitely stay outside tonight but then she astounded me.

'Would you, would you...' she was mumbling so quietly that if I had been a regular human I would never have heard her.

'Would you stay?' she finally managed and I was convinced that this time my heart did stop. This was not happening to me, I really needed to pinch myself to make sure I had heard her properly but that probably wouldn't look all that cool. I tried to relax and reply naturally to lessen her obvious mortification.

'Sure' I shrugged and she flashed me a thankful smile.

'You can sleep in Charlie's room.'

I nodded in response as if this was the most normal thing in the world. Although I knew that she never intended for me to sleep in her bed with her it was still crazy that she had asked me to stay. Bella always tried to pretend that she wasn't frightened, that she could cope fine alone, it was gratifying therefore to have her inadvertently admit that she was a little scared. After all I was what I was in order to protect people. Unlike the leech who was what he was to kill people. I shuddered and pushed his face away.

We walked up the stairs silently and she showed me into Charlie's room. I felt a little guilty but then reconsidered, Charlie would probably be chuffed to know that I was here to look after Bella, particularly knowing that I was in a completely separate room.

'Good night Jake' she whispered as if afraid to break the silence of the night.

'Night Bells' she came and wrapped her arms around me in a hug then and I could hear my own heartbeat pick up.

'Thank you' she breathed in my ear causing the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Then she was gone and I was left alone in the dark room forcing myself to breathe deeply. I stripped off my sweats and t-shirt, my shoes and jacket having being abandoned downstairs long ago. The house was still impossibly warm as I lay down in the bed, throwing the blanket off me in favor of the sheet on its own.

Across the hall I could hear Bella stumbling around getting herself ready for bed. My thoughts fluttered briefly to the nightmares I had suspected she had. Even here, in the same house, only across the hall I was still too far away to comfort her if she had a nightmare. I would never know if she had one, just as I would have been equally oblivious outside under her window. I sighed to myself; at least I knew she was safe. That was a step anyway.

Damn. I constantly had to remind myself that I wasn't taking steps with Bella Swan anymore. I wasn't seeking her, we were just waiting to see what would happen. It didn't change the fact though that I felt I should be in the same bed as her and not across the hall.

Shut up! I reprimanded myself. I was being a complete smooch right now. Man up. I growled at myself and eventually slipped into a sleep.

I was awaked not much later by a blood curling scream. It took me a second to grasp my location.

Bella.

I threw myself out of bed, I got tangled in the sheet and in my fear ripped it clean in two to get free. I ran to her room where the scream continued unbroken. I flung open her door and was just about to phase when I realised that the room was empty but for Bella. She lay curled on her side her face pressed into her pillow screaming hysterically and crying. I sat down beside her and shook her shoulders gently but urgently. I wanted to pull her from the world she was wallowing in as quickly as possible.

There was no doubt now that my suspicions earlier had been right, although I had definitely not imagined the horror of Bella's current state. I continued to shake her and finally she surfaced, gasping for air, her eyes were frantic, dashing around the room and she was drenched in cold sweat. Finally her eyes landed on me.

'Jacob' she took a great shuddering breath and her eyes finally settled on mine. She lifted a hand to stroke my face and I wondered if she was still dreaming.

'You're here' she was making no sense and she was beginning to scare me a little. Perhaps she noticed because she dropped her hand from mine and her eyes went to her lap. She was blushing furiously and I could tell that she was mortified that I had found her like this.

'Sorry' she muttered and I could hear the tears in her throat. I drew her to me and her head pressed against me she began to cry, clinging to me as if she were drowning. Finally she became quiet in my arms and she turned to lie down but she pulled my arm with her. I remained where I was until she turned to look at me.

'Bells' I spoke quietly. She was in no state to make this decision, although I didn't doubt her intentions were completely innocent I knew her well enough to know that if she woke to find me in her bed in the morning she would be eternally embarrassed.

'Please' she uttered and I looked at her intently trying to decide if this was a fantastic or terrible idea. As I looked I felt her gaze drop. I had forgotten I was only in boxers in my haste to reach her. I felt shy until I looked at her face again and saw that she was looking at me in awe. I was thankful for my werewolf genes all of a sudden. Her eyes lingered on my abs and I felt myself swell with pride, my physique had always just been an essential point of being a werewolf, I had never really considered that women may find it attractive.

Bella had seen me topless before so I couldn't understand why she looked at me with such disbelief. But she wasn´t looking at my abs any more, her eyes had wandered to my legs, she definitely hadn't seen my thighs before and then I felt her eyes look at my cock. I tried desperately not to get hard. All the same her eyes were like saucers. I wondered if she had ever seen so much of a man before and then realised I really didn't want to know. Her eyes seemed to suggest not and I wasn't even hard yet although I wasn't quite sure how I had managed that.

Finally I decided and slipped under the covers before I got a hard on right in front of her. She was blushing furiously, aware that I had caught her staring and I couldn't help but grin to myself.

I felt good.

Bella had officially checked me out. I basked in these self appreciating thoughts until I felt her hand brush mine. Suddenly she was much closer; I could hear her rapid heartbeat as she tentatively laid her head on my chest.

'I'm cold' she whispered as if I had been asking an explanation. I was now frantically trying to ignore her hand on my stomach and not think of it slipping further down. I gulped and thought of Paul naked; it didn't work. This was going to be a long, long night.

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><p><strong>Ok who agrees with me that Jacob is <em>HOT STUFF? <em>Only one way to let me know? Leave a nice wee review :-)**


	5. Chapter 5: Hot Under the Collar

**Hey sorry guys I´ve been bery busy and I´ve had some writers block too, this Chapter has been sitting in my computer almost complete for so long but finally I managed to get it done and the next one is definitely on the way soon. Let me know what you think please.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Hot Under the Collar<strong>

**Bellas POV**

I woke early in the morning in a dazed heat. It took a moment to register the arm that was wrapped around me. There was only one person I knew who had such perfect russet skin and radiated this amount of heat.

Jake.

What was Jake doing in my bed?

Then, as if someone had opened a floodgate the memories from last night came rushing back. I flushed as I remembered my nightmare and Jake rushing into my room. I had been foolish to imagine I could have a whole night free of nightmares but I hadn't wanted Jake to leave. Although I hated to admit it I was surprised to find last night that I was frightened by the prospect of staying in the house alone all night.

I was mortified now that he had seen me in one of my nightmares, or more accurately that he had heard me. In all the low points Jacob had never known about the nightmares, I had been crazy enough without revealing those to him and also somehow admitting them to Jake would have made them worse than they already were. There was no hiding them now, I just hoped he wouldn't ask me to explain them to him, I wasn't capable of that.

Thinking about the nightmare last night made me realise something. I had not had another nightmare since Jake joined me in my bed. That was strange; normally I was plagued by at least two or three horrors a night.

Then as I began to feel myself wake properly another image from the night before flashed into my mind; Jake in his boxers.

I immediately became aware of the place where his arm pressed against the bare skin of my hip where my top had rode up. I could feel his chest rise and fall against my back and I remembered with clarity how beautiful he had been last night in so little clothes. His entire body rippled with muscles under his tan skin. Although I had seen Jacob topless many times I had seen much more of him last night than ever before. His thighs bulged with muscles and I could not tear my eyes from what lay beneath his boxers.

I felt my heart race now as I remembered the way the thin material clung to his parts. He was big. I had never seen that much of a man before although I had felt that that part of Edward pressed against me at the odd times we had gotten that close. Jake was much bigger. I wondered if this was to do with his werewolf genes.

It occurred to me now that Jake was the first man I had ever had in my bed. Edward had spent every night with me but he was much too cold and much too proper to get into my bed. Instead he sat on top of the covers fully clothed and watched me while I slept. It struck me how human this situation was. Jake lay nearly naked under the bedclothes, wrapped around me, sleeping soundly.

Things had changed drastically.

I was sweating from his heat and every nerve in my body felt like it was on fire, I was so aware of how the whole length of his body was pressed against mine. Jake was my best friend, surely I shouldn't be feeling like this with him. I had to get out of this bed before I lost my head all together. I made to move quietly away from him but he resisted my movement with his arm and instead drew me closer against him. I gulped as my bum pressed against him and then I felt him properly.

He was hard.

Oh holy crow.

I was an idiot.

I had forgotten that this happened to 'normal' guys.

Obviously because Edward was technically 'dead' he didn't have any blood in his body and so his _situation _didn't change.

Jake's it appeared did.

A lot.

If I thought he was big last night then what I was feeling now was nothing short of scary.

I had to get out of this bed before my heart flew out of my chest. Moving however was not an option, when I tried again he pulled me back once more, this time his hand moved from around me until he was gripping my hip in his hand.

He couldn't be asleep still. Surely he was awake.

'Jake' I whispered trying to break the tension.

He groaned and dug his fingers into my skin, behind me I could feel him twitch and push further against me. I barely cared if he was awake or asleep anymore, this was definitely the most of a man I had ever felt and I felt intoxicated, my heart hammering against my chest. This was frightening yet addictive and subconsciously I pushed myself against him and heard him groan again.

**Jakes POV**

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I was in bed with Bella, spooning her and I was as hard as a rock.

Not only that but I was grabbing her hip and pushing against her ass and I was nearly positive I had heard myself groan.

I have been humping Bella Swan in my sleep. This was not good. She had asked me into her bed to comfort her and now I was mauling her.

Then I felt her push against me.

This made my cock twitch again and before I knew it I involuntarily dug my fingers into the soft skin of her hip again and groaned again.

Was I imagining things?

I tried to ignore my own rampaging heartbeat and listened to Bellas.

Hers was nearly as bad as mine, she was awake, she was doing this on purpose and if her heartbeat was anything to go by she was enjoying this position as much as I was.

I needed to move. This was not friendship and this was not fair on Bella, she had been totally forced into this position. I tried not to think about the fact that she had pushed against me and although it nearly killed me I tore myself away from her and lay on my back. A few moments of silence passed as tried I to calm my breathing and will my hard on away. Then she broke the awkward silence;

'Morning Jake. I'm eh gonna make us some breakfast´ with that she jumped out of bed and ran from the room as if I were about to eat her.

In fact, that wouldn't be too far from what I really wanted.

Ahhh.

This was not helping.

I threw my head back against the pillow and bit my lip. I had to take a shower, I needed help to get this hard on to go away and I knew that Bella wouldn't mind. I pulled myself out of the bed and made my way toward the bathroom.

I turned the dial to cold and stepped into the icy water, despite my heat it had the desired effect and I felt a strange sadness as I watched my arousal go away. This was not the best way to be relieved of it after all. I sighed and after a while turned the heat back on, I loved searing hot showers, there was nothing more relaxing and by the time I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my hips I was feeling like myself again. I could face Bella now that I had had some time to compose myself.

**Bellas POV**

The smell of the pancakes I was cooking help restored some normality into my confused mind. That had been the strangest experience with Jake. Strange and yet extremely enjoyable, which made it even more disconcerting. I shook my head and made my way back up stairs to call Jake for breakfast; I suspected he´d fallen back asleep.

Oh holy shit.

He had _not _fallen asleep. He had taken a shower and now he was standing in my hallway dripping wet with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He had his eyes closed and was using another small towel to dry his hair, shaking his head back and forth. I felt hot all of a sudden looking at him. The water was dripping down his toned chest and on to his abs, following down the v of his hips. The towel was slung low around his hips and I could see the fine dark line of hair leading south. I gulped. I was dimly aware of the fact that he had stopped drying his hair and was moving toward me. There was no hiding the fact that I was staring but I couldn't drag my eyes away from him.

He stopped tantalizing close to me; I could smell my shower gel off him.

'Bells'

His voice brought me back to earth with a bump and I snapped my head up to look at him, blushing furiously.

'Eh I was just coming to tell you that breakfast is ready' I was stuttering hopelessly, mortified to have been caught checking him out for the second time in 24 hours.

'Ok' he nodded and brushed his hand across the bare skin of my exposed midriff causing goose bumps to rise all along my spine. I caught a glimpse of a wicked smile on his face as he moved into the bedroom and then as my eyes followed him I saw his hands go to his towel and the material began to loosen. I had to move.

In my haste I stubbed my toe on the wall and yelped. As I got to my feet and dashed down the stairs I could hear his barking laugh follow me into the kitchen.

There was no doubt that he'd caught me checking him out again, he had brushed his hand across me on purpose. His cheeky grin revealed that he knew how he made me feel physically which was why he had done the thing with the towel. He was playing with me. I was mortified that he knew how he made my heart race. In future we were maintaining a strict distance. We had only just become friends, these thoughts were too confusing, and in future he would just have to keep his clothes on.

As I set the table I tried not to wonder if I had stayed there long enough would he really have dropped his towel and what his ass would have looked like.

**Jakes POV**

I was still laughing as I pulled my boxers on. I was no longer shy of what Bella thought about my body, it was now quite evident that she approved. The thought made my head swell, I could hear her heartbeat when she saw me in my towel and it was crazy. I officially made Bella Swan hot under the collar. I had sensed before that physically I made her nervous but what I sensed from her now was more than nerves, it was lust.

I wondered if she knew that was how she felt.

I was grinning like a puppy as I left the room and I tried not to think of how this would affect our friendship. Did this mean that Bella wanted me as more than a friend? However I knew that being physically attracted to someone was not enough to form a relationship. Besides which, although I knew I wanted her as badly as ever the fact remained that she had not chose me and I would not settle for being second best. In fact, I realised that Bella feeling attracted to me as I did to her made things even more complicated than they already were. I groaned, why couldn't life just be straight forward?

All such thoughts were banished from my mind as soon as I smelt the pancakes. I was starving and Bella cooked so well. I bounded into the kitchen to see her placing a massive plate on the table. I tucked in straight away whilst trying to make conversation between mouthfuls, I was aware that she was still painfully embarrassed about being caught staring at me. Bella was very silly sometimes; as if I cared that she stared. At least now we were even.

But wait.

Bella did know I fancied her right? She was bound to have caught me staring. Then again Bella could be oblivious to the obvious, maybe she didn't know, maybe that was why she was so embarrassed. This suited me fine, now I could leer at her openly in the hope it would make her more comfortable. The thought caused me to snort aloud with laughter.

'What?' Bella demanded.

Crap.

'Eh just thinking about a lame joke that Paul told me.'

Bella continued to frown at me; I couldn't blame her it was a pathetic excuse after all. I needed to change the subject.

'So what will we do today or do you have to study?'

'I'll probably have to do some school work later tonight but we can do something today. Do you have any ideas?'

I ate another pancake as I pondered. And then it struck me.

'Bella could you teach me how to make these pancakes?' I knew that I was irrationally excited at this. She laughed at me.

'Are you serious?'

I nodded vigorously through another mouthful.

'They are _so_ good'.

'Jake they're just pancakes'. she laughed again and the sound was like music to my ears. Bella, happy, the way things should be.

'Yeah but Billy can't really cook and neither can I so these are the best things I've ate in _ages'._

This seemed to make up her mind as she jumped up and smiled at me.

'Ok I'll go get dressed and then we'll go to the shops to get some more food, I could do with doing some cooking for the week'.

I smiled back at her as she left the kitchen and ran up the stairs get changed. Cooking with Bella should be fun, I'd be sure to get a lot of tastes along the way. I decided to do the washing up whilst she dressed. This simple act gained me another smile when she came downstairs twenty minutes later dressed in jeans and a light sweater.

**Bellas POV**

I was delighted when I came back downstairs and Jake had washed the dishes it meant we were able to leave for the shop straight away. Jake had worried me when he revealed that my pancakes were the best food he had ate in weeks. Although he didn't know it I planned to cook the food for him and Billie and not for Charlie and hopefully teach him a little bit too.

I let him drive my truck to the store and when we got out I reached for his hand, thankfully he said nothing but instead just laced his fingers through mine and the heat from his body immediately raced up my arm. Shopping with Jake was like being with an excited five year old; he constantly lifted food and asked if we could buy it. Laughing I had to say no a lot of the time and watch his face drop in disappointment. Finally we left the store and made it home laden with bags.

As it turned out cooking with Jacob was also like cooking with a five year old, every time I turned around he had his fingers in a different bowl and a look of impish guilt on his face. He somehow managed to burn his fingers and became so much of a hazard that I banned him from going anywhere near the oven. He was also incredibly messy, there were twice as many dishes as there should be and the counters and Jake were smeared with food and flour.

By the time we finished we had two casseroles, a stack of pancakes and an incredibly messy kitchen. I was flushed but happy, Jakes carefree, childish manner made me feel light inside.

'We did well' he grinned looking at the food on the table. I rolled my eyes at the 'we'. Jake successfully managed to be more of a hindrance than a help but it had been a fun afternoon.

'You will have to let me know how they taste' I said as I wrapped the dishes for him.

'What do you mean? They are for you and Charlie' he frowned at me in confusion.

'I might have told a little lie there, they are for you and Billie, Charlie and I can manage just fine'.

His face broke into a radiant smile at my words.

'Oh no way! Thanks Bells, this is awesome, Billie will love these'. he finished his exclamation of joy with a hug. The hours of working over the cooker were well worth it just to feel his strong arms around me again.

As I led him to the door and to his Rabbit outside I felt sad at the thought of another week without him. Although I longed to see him much sooner I had too much schoolwork and after everything I had put Charlie through the least I could give him now was a Graduation. He smiled his trademark grin as he placed the food in the car and turned to wish me goodbye, I noticed that behind the smile there was a tinge of sadness there too. He didn't want to leave me either, we were so very messed up.

He pulled me into one of his hugs and I inhaled in his scent deeply relishing the feel of his arms around me.

'Bye Bells' he whispered in my ear just before he broke our embrace. I nodded and promised I'd text him during the week. This seemed to cheer him up a little and he waved merrily as he pulled out of my driveway.

I was cold instantly.

'Typical' I muttered to myself as I made my way indoors to start my studying.

**Jacobs POV**

I knew I was being an over emotional idiot but I hated leaving Bella, it would only be another week or so until I saw her next and yet I knew that the week would be a drag. I resolved to make a real attempt at the form for the college this week, I needed something to take my mind of her and our messed up situation. I was thankful when I pulled up at my house that my brothers met me almost instantly in their wolf forms. I needed to get out of my human mind; I needed to fill my gap in patrols but most of all I needed to run. I needed to try and forget that this weekend had proved that my time in Canada had done little. To forget that I was still head over heels in love with Bella Swan and that she was still, infuriatingly not mine.

For once my brothers were relieved from my painful inner monologues as I thought of everything and anything but Bella. Patrols were relatively boring now that we had no real threats but they were a good time to catch up with my friends. Tonight it was Quil and Embry who ran with me, the perfect combination. I learnt that Embry had begun to fancy one of the girls from the reservation but he was hesitant to make a move. Being part of our tribe she knew that we were werewolves but Embry was aware that he had not imprinted on her and therefore didn´t know what to do.

I encouraged him to go for it, as did, to my surprise Quil.

_Yeah but what if I end up really liking her. I don´t want that Sam, Leah, Emily mess and it´s not like I can warn her about it._

Although the tribe knew about us there were some werewolf secrets we were forbidden to tell and imprinting was one we generally liked to keep to ourselves. I had been forbidden to tell Bella anything werewolf related but we had found a way around it and then somehow she knew everything, I still wasn´t sure whether this was a good thing.

_Yeah but Em you might never imprint so you can´t just stop seeing other people in case it might happen._

Quils advice was good but I had another point to add.

_Besides if you do imprint, you can fight it Embry, you don´t have to do what Sam did._

I heard Quils skepticism, although he said nothing it was clear that he thought fighting your imprint was impossible but he thought that there was no point in arguing with me because I didn't know the experience personally.

It was time to change this subject, imprinting always left me angry and although I knew Quil thought it impossible I had seen his and Sam's feelings enough to know that I could fight that if I wanted. For Bella I really wanted.

We finished the patrol talking of other things and passed over to Sam, Paul and Seth in the early morning. I tucked into Bellas pancakes when I got home, stopping just to leave some for Billy and then gladly got into my bed. In the evening I sat down at the table with the form, determined to do it justice. It was hard, I tried but I knew that what I had written was not good enough. Just as I was becoming frustrated my phone vibrated in my pocket scaring me out of my wits. I had taken to carrying it with me everywhere now. It was Bella; there was no one else it could be.

**Hey Jake, how's your Monday been?**

It wasn't her voice but as it was as close as I could get I was thrilled. I replied immediately.

**Hi Bells, it's been OK, Billy and I demolished all our pancakes this morning, they were so good.** **He says thanks for all the food. Just trying to fill in a form for technological college at the minute. It's not going too well. **

Admitting that despite my hard work my form was pretty pathetic did little to raise my spirits. Grumbling I trudged to the kitchen to grab something more to eat. By the time I had heated some of lasagna that Bella had prepared and brought it back to the living room she had replied. Somehow the little flashing red light brought comfort now instead of irritation. Bella's reply dashed my bad mood altogether.

**I'm glad that you enjoyed 'our' pancakes I could help you with the form on Friday afternoon if you like? I finish school early so you could come to the house around 2pm and we could have lunch and try to work on it then?**

I was an idiot for not thinking of asking Bella's help before, this was exactly the kind of thing that she was good at. I knew already that the rest of the week would drag until Friday, she could not have suggested a more perfect plan. Time with Bella, food by Bella and _finally _some help with this darned form.

There was only one thing that struck me as strange, before when we had been friends Bella and I had rarely been at her house in Forks. We spent most of our time at the reservation, in my garage or the house or at the beach. I could understand why she asked me to go to her house last weekend as Charlie was out of town but suggesting we go to her house again this weekend struck me as odd.

I knew that Bella loved the tranquility here; she had once commented that it was like a different world just miles from her home. I had a distinct feeling that she was avoiding La Push in order to avoid the pack and Leah in particular. Although she had seen Quil and Embry the first time she came to see me after my return I wasn't entirely sure she was even aware that they were there. She hadn´t really been in her right mind that day. Besides Quil and Embry would always be nice to Bella, they liked her and they knew how I felt about her so they respected this in how they acted toward her.

Leah however was much more hostile and oddly protective off me. Quil, Em and I had been friends for many years and so although they too were protective off me they understood that hating Bella would only annoy me. Leah on the other hand did not see it like this, for some reason she seemed to think that she had a right to hate Bella after everything we had been through. She could not have been more wrong.

I resolved to speak to the pack, if Quil and Em could be polite to Bella so could Leah and the rest of them. I would not have her too afraid to come here, La Push was where our friendship had begun and it formed an intricate part of it. Bella enjoyed it here and I enjoyed having her and so they would have to accept her. I would tear Leah´s throat out if she were rude to Bella, I didn't care if she was my sister or not.

In the meantime I responded happily to Bella´s message, I loved that we had some plans set for the weekend. It gave me something to look forward to. With a smile on my face I went outside, stripped and phased.

_Jake!_

Seths happy voice filled my head immediately and I smiled in my head.

_You´re not on patrol why have you phased? Just fancied a run? I´ll race you if you want!_

He spoke quickly and excitedly but Sam spoke directly after him.

_Seth we´re on patrol you can´t just run off to race._

His alpha voice made it clear that this was not an option. I knew that Sam was keen to give Seth guidance, as one of our youngest wolves he would still be phasing in a couple of years and the time may come when he had to become alpha.

Again I tried to ignore the way Sam's alpha voice gave me a strange sort of itch in my mind. I felt Sam hone in on this feeling and spoke quickly to Seth.

_No, no race tonight Seth just wanted to know if you wanted to come over for a game on the Playstation after you finish patrolling. There's food here but check in with your Mum first._

I felt Seths pleasure in being invited and his smugness that I had not invited Sam or Paul. He answered eagerly and I phased back before Sam could pin me down on the itch.

I liked Seth, it was a strange relationship. Although all of the wolves were my brothers there were clearly some that I was closer to than others. Quil, Em and I had been friends before the phasing and we would always stay friends. With Seth I felt a strange protectiveness, it really felt like he was my little brother and this feeling continued when we were human. Perhaps it was due in part to Seth losing his Father so young and phasing at the same time. I knew that it was Sams job to guide Seth but he didn't have the same relationship that Seth and I did no matter how hard he tried.

Seth and I were similar in many ways, we had the same type of personality and Sam was too firm on Seth, the voice he used to speak with Seth was the same voice that annoyed the hell out of me. He had not used it since I had returned. Seth was fun to be around, he was energetic, funny and innocent. There was no confusion with him, he just told you things straight and I liked the way he would tell you what he thought. I was aware that he worshipped me in some ways but I supposed that he needed someone to look up to and I really enjoyed spending time with him.

I had invited him over because he was just the person to help me keep my good mood. I was also aware that patrolling with Sam and Paul would be boring as hell for Seth. They were two of the older wolves and they talked about things that were of no interest to Seth. Paul also tended to give Seth a pretty hard time and although Sam was Alpha his friendship with Paul meant that he was not always entirely impartial when telling them off.

He arrived an hour later a whirl of energy and smiles. I returned his smile fully as I slapped him on the shoulder on the way into the house. At least tonight would pass happily and then it would be Tuesday and only three more days to Friday and to Bella.

**Bellas POV**

I exited the house with a smile plastered on my face and more care taken with my clothes than usual. The reason; today was Friday and in just a few hours I would be seeing Jake. My smile however soon faded when after many attempts I came to the grim conclusion that my truck was not going to start. Grumbling I made my way into the house to ask Charlie for a lift. Being dropped off at school in a police car was not exactly the best start to any day. I text Jake as Charlie drove me to school and asked him if he could collect me at 2pm at school, he replied instantly that it was no problem and my mood lifted again.

There was some teacher training afternoon on so school ended early for the entire school. Although the day was significantly shorter than every other school day it felt like it dragged on forever. Finally the bell sounded and I packed my bag quickly and left the room with Jessica and a few of our other friends.

'Why are you smiling so much Bella? It's strange' Jessica asked and I decided to answer her question and ignore the comment that followed.

'No real reason but my friend is collecting me today, I'm looking forward to seeing him'.

'Oh right, very good'. I could tell that my answer had disappointed Jessica and her pursuit of gossip but I couldn't have cared less. My eyes scanned the car park for Jake and the Rabbit but I couldn't find him. Jessica's voice caught my attention,

'Who the hell is _that?'_ I followed her line of sight and my eyes rested on Jacob. It was immediately obvious why he had caught Jessica's attention. He was leaning against the hood of the Rabbit which was parked just by the gate. He wore dark jeans and a tight white top which showed off his bulging biceps, his hair was windswept and he had a serious look on his features as he scanned the crowd looking for me. I was suddenly aware that nearly everyone in the car park was looking at Jacob, both girls and boys alike and I felt a surge of inadequacy. Jake was gorgeous and that was before you even got to know how wonderful a person he was, did I really deserve to be friends with him? Did I deserve more? Surely he was well out of my league.

He had spotted me in the crowd and began walking in my direction, I flushed as he approached and everyone watched.

'Hey Bells' he greeted me with his customary hug that lifted me off my feet seemingly oblivious to the stares he was gaining. As he put me down again Jessica stepped in.

'Bella you should introduce us to your friend' she cooed in a voice I knew she only used if she were attracted to someone. I didn't like the way she had used the word friend either, as if she was clarifying that Jake was up for grabs. Which on reflection I supposed he was although this thought made my blood run cold.

'Eh this is Jake, Jake, Jessica

'Nice to meet you' Jacob shook her hand and she fluttered her eyelashes and took the opportunity to step closer.

'So do you guys have plans for this weekend?' she questioned and I flushed further. Jake and I hadn't discussed what we were going to do yet and I didn't want Jessica taking that opportunity to poach him for herself.

'No we haven't decided but if we're going to do anything fun Bella will text you and let you know the time and place'. Jake took my hand and began leading me toward the Rabbit.

'Bye guys, nice to meet you!' he called over his shoulder as he led me away. I couldn't help notice that Jessica looked livid and was glaring at my hand encased in Jakes. It was a relief to reach the tranquility of the car.

We talked aimlessly for a while in the car and then a silence fell between us. Finally as we drew closer to the house Jake broke it.

'So do you have any plans for this weekend?'

'Eh no' I replied taken aback.

'Good because I have plans for both of us' he replied mysteriously.

'And what exactly would these plans be?'I asked.

'Well for a start they're a secret. Let's get these forms out of the way and then you can pack a weekend bag and we'll be off'.

'A weekend bag! Off where exactly?' I was becoming a little worried now.

'You'll see' he said and winked roguishly at me.

Oh holy crow.

I was going away for the weekend to an unknown location with Jacob Black.

I seriously didn´t know how I was going to do this.

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><p><strong>So? What are your thoughts? R and R and let me know :-)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6: The Inner Wolf

**So sorry for the big wait but I´ve had a lot on recently including flying home for Easter holidays. Also this Chapter posed a lot of problems including challenging my self restraint and I had to rewrite at least half of it. On the upside it is good and long so I hope you all enjoy :-)**

**Just a little note, there is underage drinking in this Chapter that was needed for the purpose of the story but that does not mean I condone it in real life in any way at all. Also remember that I´m from the UK so Bella is legal to drink where I´m from and well, Jacob he´s a man :-)**

**Rated M for a reason guys! MATURE content ahead.**

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><p><strong>Jakes POV<strong>

With Bellas help the form was completed in a mere half an hour and it was completed well. Like an obedient student I wrote down everything she called out to me. It was amazing how she made my small skills sound so good. Afterwards Bella made a quick lunch which I mainly scoffed as she plagued me with questions about the weekend.

The weekend plan had in fact only come together a few days earlier. Emily had a cousin Abigail who lived in Florence, Oregon but she was coming to La Push to spend the summer with her. Abigails´ family owned a cabin in Packwood which was about half way between Florence and Forks and she had brought some friends with her to stay for a weekend before they parted ways. Her Father had suggested that she invite some people from Forks down too so that we could all get to know one another before she accompanied us back home and she had leapt at the idea.

Emily had politely refused claiming that she felt a little too old for a 'teenage party' but had suggested a few of the pack and Bella go down to meet Abigail. Abigail and Emily had always been close due to Abigail's often absent parents and as a result she knew about the wolves. However she had only visited a few times and it had been many years since I saw her, in those days I was decidedly wolf free. I wondered how Abigail would have changed, as a young girl she had been eccentric and carefree despite her poor upbringing. I hoped she had kept those qualities.

I had decided to keep the trip a secret from Bella but I had already talked to Charlie and he had been surprisingly lenient about the whole thing. He did warn me however that if anything happened to Bella he would have no choice but to use his gun on me. I tried to look appropriately frightened at this and saw him smirk in satisfaction. I explained that I wanted the trip to be a surprise for Bella and he agreed on the stipulation that I got Bella to call him when we arrived.

'So'said Bella as she finished washing the dishes.

'What kind of clothes to I have to bring for this weekend?'

I pondered this, after all I wasn't exactly an expert in girls' clothing.

'Em just regular clothes and maybe some hiking clothes and eh em a swimsuit?' Why did I have to blush as I said that? I mean it wasn't a big deal. There was a hot tub at the cabin so obviously she'd need some sort of swimming gear.

'Eh right ok, well I'll go pack then' she made her way out of the kitchen and as I watched her she turned to me.

'Come on'.

I leapt up from the table delighted that packing wasn't girls territory that I wasn't allowed into. I loved Bella's room mainly because it was well just so Bella. Everything was soft and light and smelt like her and he bed was so comfortable. But I really didn't need to think about that anymore. I sat on the bed and lent against the headboard as I watched her haul a bag out from the bottom of her cupboard and start to fill it. I really tried not to look when she began packing underwear and I tried not to wonder what colour her swimwear would be. It took a lot of concentration not to imagine her in the shower when she added a towel and shampoo and shower gel. I thought packing was meant to be the difficult part, not watching someone pack. This was impossible. I tried to distract myself by telling her that I had already cleared her departure with Charlie and by telling her who was coming with us and that the journey would take about four and half hours.

By the time we got into the Rabbit Bella was bouncing with excitement and some nerves too I could tell. Thankfully we had enough cars so that I didn't have to take any of the boys. It would just be me and Bella for the next couple of hours. I smiled at her as we pulled out of her driveway and squeezed her leg in excitement, I was so looking forward to this weekend purely because I got to spend all of it with Bella.

The hours passed quickly in the car, we played music and sang a long and told stories about our childhood and the journey came to an end before I knew it. Directions had never been my forte and I was glad therefore that I only had to follow Quil who was driving in front of me. In all it was Bella, myself, Quil, Embry, Jared and Leah who had come for the weekend but I was unsure of how many of Abigails friends would be there or what the sleeping arrangements would be. There was no way that Bella and Leah would be pairing up in a room anyway.

Bella gasped aloud as we pulled up in front of the cabin and I couldn't blame her, it was a pretty fantastic sight. We were in the clearing of a forest and in front was a large, tall cabin with huge windows and it was surrounded on all sides by a wide wooden decking. Over the treetops there were impressive views of a nearby mountain and when we stepped out of the car I could hear the rush of water which signaled that there was a river close by. This was going to be an amazing weekend.

We had barely time to look awkwardly at each other when Abigail came rushing down the steps. She had grown up a lot since we had last left and there was no doubt that she had become very attractive. I could almost feel the competitiveness from the other boys and they were far from happy when it was I who she greeted first.

'Jake is that you? I can´t believe it, I barely recognized you!' she hugged me eagerly and I laughed and assured her that it was indeed me. She then moved back to greet the other boys her honey blonde hair gleaming in the setting sun. Abigail was the opposite of Bella in almost every way. She was willowy and graceful and had long blonde hair and bright blue eyes and I was happy to see that she seemed to have retained her carefree, open personality. She hugged Bella as if she were a long lost sister and before they had even exchanged two words she had announced that they were going to be the best of friends. Perhaps this was one of the reasons that Leah didn't look overly pleased to be embraced by her but then again Leah was hard to figure out.

'Come in, come in' Abigail urged and we followed her up the steps after quickly retrieving our bags from the cars.

The cabin was amazing, it may have been in the middle of the woods but it was far from basic. The entrance hall was vast and on the left of it there was a wooden staircase leading up to a landing which we could see. There were doors and windows in every direction and already the sound of laughter could be heard.

'Come and meet the rest of the guys' Abigail smiled as she led us into a room on the right of the cabin. This was evidently the living room; it had lots of plush sofas and an amazing floor to ceiling stone fireplace. The views out of the many windows were incredible. There were three girls and two guys in the room and they all came forward with broad smiles and hugs and back slaps. Abigail introduced us to them quickly but it would be a while before all their names sunk in, none the less they seemed like a fun group of people.

'Let me show you to the rooms upstairs so you can dump your bags and decide who is sleeping where'.

I felt Bella draw closer to me as she said these words and I tried hard not to think what this meant. We followed Abigail up the wide staircase and along the landing upstairs where she stopped and gave us our options.

'Ok we have a full house so there is one double bed left, a room with a single and there is a room with four bunk beds in it. She pushed open the doors of each room as she spoke of it. Josh hasn't picked a room yet which is annoying but don't worry about him, just sort yourselves out and he'll sleep anywhere he´s told. I'll see you all downstairs in a while' she left us with a grin and we all turned to look at one another.

'Well the obvious choice is to let Leah and Bella share the double bed and we'll all sleep in the bunk beds and then Josh can have the single' piped Jared.

Bella looked horrified at the very thought but Leah quickly ruled out that idea.

'That's not happening and quite frankly I don't want to share a bed or a room with you lot or anyone else so I'm taking the single. See you soon' she smiled a triumphant smile and exited, making her way toward the single.

'She's actually a bitch. Why the fuck did she have to come?' moaned Quil.

'Coz Sam said it would be good to have more girls go to meet Abigail' Jared responded glumly.

'Yeah but she isn't a girl, she's a fucking monster and coming from someone like me that's saying something' exclaimed Quil angrily.

'Let's just forget about her ok, what are we gonna do about these rooms?´ asked Jake.

'I suppose two of us could share the double bed' suggested Embry gesturing between the boys with a disgusted look on his face.

'I don´t really think Bella wants to stay in a room with three guys though' stated Jake.

'So she'll take the double, we all stay in here and Josh can sleep on the sofa. You heard Abigail, he'll sleep anywhere' Quil presented this as though it had been already decided but Bella finally spoke.

'We can't do that! That's really rude!'

She did have a point so I had a solution.

'Ok Josh can stay in here with you three, Bella can stay in the double and I'll sleep on the sofa' this seemed like the best way forward and besides I was already fed up talking about it.

'Am I poisonous or something? You can sleep beside me in the bed Jake I promise you won't catch anything' with these words Bella left the landing quickly and went into the double room her cheeks furiously red.

The boys looked at me with raised eyebrows but I was still too taken back by this rapidly decided plan to anything more than blink blankly at them. In the end we parted ways to freshen up a bit after the journey. It felt very strange to be entering a room that Bella and I would be sharing.

Our room.

Although I knew that none of the pack would believe me I genuinely had not had anything like this in mind when I invited Bella along this weekend. I wanted her here purely because I loved her company and because I thought she deserved a break after all the studying she had been doing amongst other stressful events. It was something Charlie had agreed with me on. I tried not to imagine his face if he knew that Bella and I were sharing a bed. He would flat out kill me. On the upside at least this way I knew she was safe although I was beginning to wonder who the predator was.

Did I count as one? If Charlie could read my mind I would say he would definitely count me as one.

Bella was sitting cross legged on the double bed with her phone at her ear. I could tell that she was talking with Charlie and reassuring him that everything was fine. I paused awkwardly at the foot of the bed and then sat down as I waited for her to finish the conversation. Finally silence blanketed us and quickly I began to speak with my back still turned to her;

'I'm really sorry that you have to share with me Bella, I really didn't know that this was the way things would work out. I honestly don't mind sleeping on the sofa so if you want me to just say the word'.

I was rambling terribly. I paused, took a deep breath and then managed to say what I was really trying to.

'I didn't plan this Bella. I promise you I didn't' I couldn't help but turn and look at her as I said this. I wanted her to know that I was being honest, that I hadn't lured her under false pretences.

'I know you didn't silly. Stop stressing out it's fine. Besides if I let you sleep on the sofa I am quite sure that I would never have heard the end of it' she smiled and suddenly everything was alright again.

I stood up eager to have a look around our new room now that the important issue had been cleared up. The enormous double bed was in the centre of the room and behind it there was a large window that ran the length of the bed. The view was incredible. There was a full length mirror, a chest of drawers, a desk and a cupboard. A door on the left hand side led into a generous sized en suite with a large shower and snow white towels which matched the bed sheets. It was undoubtedly a beautiful room and it made me keen to properly start enjoying myself.

I knew that Bella was a little nervous, parties and new people weren't really her scene but I was convinced that she would enjoy the weekend. She needed to try new experiences and Abigail and all of her friends seemed lovely. When I finished my tour I turned to find her sitting in the same position on the bed smiling serenely at me.

'What are you smiling at?'

'Nothing in particular I'm just very happy. Thank you for taking me here Jake, it's an amazing place and Abigail seems really nice'.

I grinned at her words as they alleviated the worry I had harbored in the back of my mind. I had been right; Bella needed to be taken out and shown to the world not hid away as that leech had done. She was beautiful and the rest of the world needed to see that and she deserved to see and experience the rest of the world. This weekend was just the beginning.

'You're welcome. I'm just going to change my top and stuff and then will we head back downstairs? We need to find food because I am starving and there is a high chance I will collapse if I don't eat within the next 15 minutes'.

**Bellas POV**

I laughed at Jakes proclamation, the boy really could eat and I suppose it had been quite a while, even I was feeling hungry.

I still couldn't believe that we were here. This place was beautiful and the scenery was breathtaking. I had been impossibly nervous when Jake had finally explained what was going on as we had pulled in front of the cabin. However despite having only spent 10 minutes in her company there was something I instinctively liked about Abigail, she seemed so breezy and open and friendliness radiated from her. Her friends had been equally welcoming and as I knew all of the people I had arrived with pretty well I didn´t feel as intimidated as I usually would have done in this circumstance.

I could see why Charlie would have agreed to this plan, he was always urging me to go out more and socialize and so was Jake. It was only now that I could see their point; I had been so caught up in Edward and his world that I had forgotten all about the world I belonged in. It was natural for me to enjoy others company and whilst I would never be a mad party person this situation seemed like a fun and relaxed way to really start to socalise a little more.

The room situation was awkward and although I would never have wanted to share with Leah her abrupt decision did nothing to help the situation. There was no way I was going to let Jake sleep on the sofa when there was a space beside me, we were friends. Friends shared beds. There was nothing else to it.

I tried not to think of what I had felt the last time we shared a bed but it was difficult when I looked up to find Jacob peeling his t-shirt off and spraying deodorant. I gulped as I watched his muscular physique, there was something so incredible about his body and I couldn't help but look. Why was it that he could _not _keep his clothes on in front of me? Please tell me he wasn't doing this on purpose again? However he was talking to me whilst he pulled out a new top and I got the impression that he was so used to being topless that this was natural for him.

Now that I was trying to lead a more normal life or at least pretend to I had become a little more sociable in school even though the majority of this consisted of complaining with my peers about graduation. Jessica had, as always been keen to see 'normal' Bella return and despite the previous disastrous attempt at an outing she had invited me shopping. Partly to prove to Jess that I wasn´t a complete nutjob and that I did actually enjoy how forgiving she had been with me I had been more forthcoming on the shopping trip.

However I couldn't deny that when Jess insisted on 'making me over' and made me try on more sexy clothes than usual I felt distinctly uncomfortable. Then looking in the mirror I had thought of Jake and how incredible he always managed to look. Before I knew what was happening and much to Jessica's delight I was going crazy buying clothes and underwear I would never have dreamt of wearing.

I had brought some of those clothes with me this weekend and although I was a little nervous about wearing them I was also keen to see Jakes reaction. Would he leer at me as I had done at him? Friends could feel attracted to one another couldn't they? That didn't necessarily mean anything was ever going to happen even if they were sharing the same bed for the weekend. I made for the bathroom to change and I knew that I was trying to convince myself as I pulled my jeans off and instead took out my new khaki trousers.

They were tight, skinny trousers in a dark green colour with strategic pockets on the outside. The hugged every inch of me and despite my nervousness I felt good in them, they were surprisingly comfortable. I paired them with a fitted v neck white t shit that hinted at a bit of cleavage. I felt sticky and gross after the car journey so I sprayed myself with deodorant and perfume, fluffed my hair and applied more make-up than I usually would. Trying to act as if this is what I normally dressed like I left the bathroom.

**Jakes POV**

I knew in my head that I was being utterly ridiculous but something about that bed made me want to jump on it. It was a past time I had enjoyed thoroughly in my youth but my werewolf transformation had meant that such actions were cut (in my opinion) dramatically short. I now had to exercise great caution around furniture unless I wanted to reduce it to a pile of sticks.

However this bed looked decidedly sturdy, I checked underneath and the planks were of thick wood and none of them were broken.

Should I? Shouldn´t I?

I teetered on the edge of indecision, afraid of breaking the bed but then I just thought fuck it. If it broke I could deny all knowledge or probably fix it. I bounded on to the bed and began jumping with vigor delighted that there were no ominous sounds.

It was like this that Bella found me when she left the bathroom. I had been having too much fun to listen out for her leaving and now she found me jumping up and down on a bed like a moron.

Not cool.

To my immense relief however she laughed and before I knew it she had joined me on the bed jumping like crazy. All of a sudden I was flung back to the past when Bella and I had just been kids, when we had enjoyed each other's company without all the complications the world threw at us. It was a touching moment, a moment where things were how they used to be. Where there was no confusion or hurt.

But it was over too soon. The bed began to creak and panting we realized we had to stop before we broke it entirely or to be more accurate before _I_ broke it entirely. As we stepped down off the bed I looked at Bella and noticed her clothes for the first time. They reminded me that we were definitely not children any more, they were tight and they showed off Bella's slim figure incredibly. The trousers clung to her legs and bum and the top just enticed me to look down at it.

My cock twitched.

No we were definitely not children any more.

The thoughts that were running though my head right now were not childlike.

Fuck I have never in my life wanted to rip nice clothes to shreds like I did right now.

This in turn reminded me of how confusing things remained and I wondered if there would ever be a day when I could undress Bella Swan.

I needed to get out of this room, I needed food and I needed a strong drink.

'Let's go and see what the story is with food, I'd say my brothers are starving too'.

She smiled broadly as I said that and I asked her why, it had been such a benign comment after all.

'I just love it the way you call them your brothers, that's all' she replied. The comment stumped me. I knew that they weren't directly my brothers but in my wolf form they were and my wolf form was half of who I was.

There was only one real answer to the comment 'They're my family' I shrugged and she smiled again. We did'´t mention the fact that Leah hadn't been addressed, Leah was of course my sister but my relationship with her was strained to say the very least. I, like my brothers wished she hadn't come this weekend although I felt bad in admitting it even to myself. After all she was family too.

I hoped this weekend would assure Bella that the pack was ok with having her back in my life. She knew not to expect a welcome from Leah but this would at least prove to her that Quil and Embry were fine with her and that Jared was coming to accept the idea too. I had spoken with the pack and whilst Leah had merely glared and thought irritating things the rest seemed to accept that I had a weak point with Bella and they would do better to accept it than fight me on it. I could tell that some of them were not happy about it, afraid that Bella would mess me up again or worse, send me away again but they were doing as I asked and I appreciated that. If Leah put one toe out of line this weekend I was going to bite it off the next time we phased and that was a fact. She had been warned.

We made our way through the house to where the noise was coming from, thankfully it was the kitchen. I was so hungry. I really hoped food was on the agenda. Thankfully Quil was exclaiming his hunger in a loud voice and claiming that he refused to do any sort of partying until he was fed. I added my voice to his and soon attention turned to where we could get food from.

Abigail walked to a notice board and came back with a handful of take away menus in her hand.

'Here let's have a look but we need to decide quickly because a lot of them stop delivering soon and we are a bit out of the way'.

I voted for pizza and a Chinese and this was agreed by most of the group, Abigail placed the order and we all moved to the living room to wait.

'So did you all sort out the rooms ok?' asked Abigail as we flicked the tv on. We told her we had and explained the situation to her.

'Excellent so I'm with the boys then?' smiled Josh and the boys laughed in agreement.

'How long have you two been together then?' asked one of the girls called Rose who was dating the remaining boy, Michael. The question flustered me and I could feel Bella beaming beside me. I tried to sound nonchalant as I responded.

'Oh we're not together, we're just good friends'. I could feel the skepticism in the room not helped by my brothers' smirks. This was all Leah´s fucking fault, if she had only been more co-operative. Then Josh spoke to Bella and I honestly nearly phased on the spot.

'So you're single then Bella?' he asked with a jaunty grin.

'Oh eh, yeah, I suppose I am' she replied after a pause.

Who the fuck did this guy think he was? Who just asks a girl that? Never mind Bella.

My Bella.

But her answer and the stabbing feeling in my gut reminded me that she wasn't mine, she never had been and she might never be. The thought made me want to bury my head in my hands and cry.

I didn´t know how long I could keep doing this.

I lapsed into silence as the rest of the group talked and finally the food arrived. Thankfully my depressing thoughts had not lessened my appetite and I devoured the food. It nearly turned into a fight with my brothers and the two other boys all diving at the food at the same time as me; I swear I nearly growled at Jared when he took the last slice of pizza. I was sort of full but I could have ate more and I was pissed that Jared had gotten the last slice, I didn't know if this was my wolf side coming out or if this was normal man behavior. The lines got a little blurry sometimes.

As I watched him eat the slice gloatingly in front of me and resisted the urge to punch him in the face and take it from him Bella nudged me in the side. It was kind of a miracle that I had even felt it as I had been so busy hating Jared.

'Here' she handed me her plate where there was the biggest slice of pizza I had ever seen. It seemed that it was meant to be two slices but the people had forgotten to cut it in two. It looked amazing but I couldn´t take food from Bella.

'No, it's fine, you eat it. It's yours. I'm ok'. It was embarrassing to think Bella had seen me glower over a bit of pizza, I really needed to grow up.

'I took it for you Jake' she smiled at me as she continued to offer me the plate.

'For me?' I asked her in disbelief.

She laughed 'Yeah I've seen you guys eat together before you know so I thought I'd pretend it was for me but save it for you. No one was going to steal it off me after all and it _is_ a _huge _slice'.

I'm not joking but I could have kissed her there and then. She was the most thoughtful creature in the world. The fact that she had been thinking off me made me heart soar. What was I worrying about Josh for? She loved me, I knew that at least and she definitely didn't love him.

As for Jared. Well I couldn't help but wave the pizza in his face before I took the biggest bite. He looked like I had hit him.

This was going to be a good weekend.

How could it not be with Bella by my side?

**Bellas POV**

Ok I know that technically four out of the assembled men can turn into animals but really did that excuse them for eating like them whilst human? You would have thought this was the only food we were going to see for the weekend the way they dived at the food and at one point I thought the pack were going to kill each other. The other boys didn't really have much of a chance.

When it had been my turn to pick my food I took a big piece of pizza for Jake, it didn't look like I had taken any extra as my appetite is still very small so no one commented. I knew how much he liked his food and I didn't think we had ordered enough. Sure enough when Jared grabbed the last slice of pizza Jake looked furious, it was all I could do not to laugh as he glowered at him eating. The look of appreciation on his face when I had presented him with the slice I had taken from him was priceless. Honestly I would do anything for Jake if it meant I got to be the recipient of such adoration.

Finally the food was finished and the cartons removed and as Abigail exclaimed we could 'get the party started'. This particular part concerned me a little, I hadn't really been to any parties so I wasn't sure what the plan was. It turned out that we had to turn off pretty much every light in the house apart from the low lamps and those in the kitchen and we had to turn some music up pretty high. Then we all traipsed to the kitchen to prepare some drinks.

Abigail pulled me from Jakes side and whispered conspiratorially in my ear 'Let's make some cocktails, I can't stand the taste of beer'. I agreed readily mostly because I hated the bitter taste of beer too but also because it sounded fun. Together we emptied the fridge of all interesting drinks and then Abigail or Abi as she insisted on being called produced two cocktail shakers.

'Eh Abi I don't know what any of this stuff tastes like on its own never mind together' I confessed feeling embarrassed by my lack of knowledge but she merely shrugged.

'Yeah I don't know what half of it is so we'll just have to taste it all before we decide to add it'. This sounded like the most sensible of ideas and so we set to work.

Cocktail making is so much fun.

We sipped at everything before we decided to add it and I was attacked with a world of flavors I didn't even know existed. Somehow, probably due to my ability to cook I was able to mix well and came up with some sweet tasting cocktails. Abi's on the other hand were lethal and bitter but we laughingly drank them anyway. Soon Abi's other two friends came to join us and a divide came between the boys and the girls although we didn't mind it. Abi's friends were as sweet as she was and they were quick to pull Leah into our fold. To start with I tensed at this but either the alcohol or my general happiness pushed this to back of my mind and for once I wasn't searching for her dirty looks. In fact I couldn't have cared less if she had been giving me them.

Miraculously Leah seemed to relax a bit and soon I was convinced that she was actually having fun. True she avoided looking or communicating with me at all but she smiled and laughed along with the others and I couldn't help but wonder whether we all judged her too hard. She had a rough time of it being the only female in the pack and that was without the Sam, Emily triangle being thrown into it. It seemed to me that outside of the poisonous environment she was trapped in that she flourished a little.

Soon however thoughts such as these became beyond my capabilities and for the first time in my life I was laughing with a group of girls and none of it was fake. I was genuinely enjoying myself and the cocktails were disappearing quicker than before. Soon we got fed up making different concoctions and decided on one that I had created. I tried to remember all the ingredients as I filled the shakers and then tipped their contents into an enormous jug. Once this was filled I took my glass and followed the others from the kitchen into the living room where we were met by some of the boys sprawled across the sofas and the ground laughing like hyenas.

Abi placed the jug of cocktail down on a table in the middle with a concentrated effort then flopped at the bottom of the table. We joined her and soon the boys present were questioning the pink drink we coveted so dearly. Abi explained that I had created it and that it was a secret recipe. She did however allow each of the boys a small sip and I was pleased when they all proclaimed that it was great.

I was aware that this was far more alcohol than I had ever consumed but I felt ok, if a little giggly. I was having fun and enjoying the carefree feeling that coursed through my veins. Everything felt relaxed and funny and the conversation was light. I looked across the room and saw that Rose was cuddled up to her boyfriend Michael and it made me want Jake. It had been too long since I last saw him, since I felt him.

I felt no inhibitions as I crawled over to him where he was seated on the floor his back against a sofa. I leant in against him and his warmth encircled me at once, how had I ever managed to drag myself away from him.

'Hey Bells, are you having fun?' he asked and I nodded. This was a lot more fun than I imagined parties could be.

'Are you?' I asked and he agreed that he too was having a fantastic night.

Abi broke our brief conversation by announcing that we should all play a game. I felt a little wary at this proclamation but the alcohol in my veins stopped me from retreating altogether. I think I was a little tipsy.

Abigails friends Katie and Harley volunteered to go and find the rest of the boys so we could begin this elusive game. I settled against Jake and waited for them to return.

**Quills POV**

This was a good party, even Leah seemed to be lightening up a little. I was outside with Josh leaning against the balcony with a cold beer in my hand. It was one of many but I felt very little, part and parcel of being so big and also having werewolf jeans. We could hear a lot of noise from the living room and so I suggested to Josh that we move back inside to where the party seemed to be. He agreed but as we moved toward the door he stopped me.

'So Bella and Jake are just friends then?' he questioned and I nodded hesitantly. This was dangerous territory and there was nothing I could say that would sound right.

Josh was nodding too now, looking pleased.

'Alright then, well if that's all there is between them I think I might make a move sometime this weekend' he winked at me and headed through the door and into the kitchen.

Fuck.

What the hell was I supposed to do now?

It was true that Bella and Jake were just friends but that didn't really cover whatever strange relationship they had going on.

The fact remained that whether they were meant to be 'just friends' or not if Jake saw Josh making a move on Bella he would rip him to pieces and he wouldn't even have to be in wolf form to do it.

I needed to talk to Embry.

**Jakes POV**

Abigails two friends returned surprisingly quick having found Quil and Josh in the kitchen. Abigail whooped in delight and announced that we were going to play a game called Never Have I Ever. I didn't know how I felt about this and I felt Bella stiffen beside me.

'The rules' Abigail continued 'are simple. Everyone has a full drink and we each take it in turns saying something. For example I might say Never Have I Ever ate a pizza, if I have in fact done this and I am lying I take a drink from my glass. If someone in the group has also done it they drink too. So it's kind of a truth game'.

The game itself sounded good but it was the statements I was worried about, somehow I did not think they would be about pizza. This wasn't a truth game it was a revealing game and there were some things I wasn't sure I wanted to know. It didn't look as though I had any choice though as everyone else nodded enthusiastically and moved to sit in a circle on the floor. I felt Bella move a little away from me and saw her fill her glass as ordered. Abigail cleared her throat, announced that she was going first and that we would be taking turns in a clockwise direction.

This was really happening then.

It started of simple enough. Abigail stated that she had never kissed a boy, all the girls drank from their glasses confirming that they had all kissed a boy. Thankfully none of the boys in the group drank too. Quil followed by stating that he had never kissed a girl, myself and all of the boys drank at this and to my utter surprise Katie and Harley did too. This got some wolf whistles from the group. The game progressed with both funny and sexual statements from skinny dipping to pranks and I began to felt myself relax. Maybe this wouldn´t be so bad after all. It was Josh´s turn next and we all looked at him as he spoke;

'Never Have I Ever had sex'

The laughter stopped and everyone started looking at one another to see who would drink. I was looking at no one but Bella, I knew that I should at least attempt to conceal my interest but I couldn't. My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty, here was the question that I was too afraid to ask, the question whose answer I was sure would break my heart.

Her glass remained on the floor and she looked me resolutely in the eyes before her gaze dropped to my own glass which was in my hand. I kept it there, it was where it belonged.

Finally it began to register with me that Bella had not slept with the leech, she was virgin. I smiled broadly at her, elation filling me like a balloon and she gave a small, embarrassed smile in return, her cheeks going red. I was not going to fool myself into thinking that they had done nothing but kiss but the rest I could deal with. She hadn't slept with him that was all that mattered to me.

I turned to find that a lot of the group were giving us strange looks, I suppose our reactions weren't exactly normal. I didn't see who else had drank or not but I didn't care and besides Quil would fill me in later no doubt. The game moved on but the tone had changed now that the biggest question of all had been breached, the questions now were all of a sexual nature and I was finding it hard to keep my cool. It was Jareds turn next

'Never Have I Ever eh played with myself' he stated with a roguish smile.

Oh hell.

Well I had to drink to that one, I barely left myself alone. I nearly spat the drink back out though when I saw every girl in the room take an embarrassed sip. Every girl included Bella. Holy shit, I was now given a million more images to help play with myself. This was becoming heated and I was dreading the next question.

'Never Have I Ever felt a girls boobs'.

I drank to that, aware of Bella's piercing gaze.

I refused to meet her eyes.

'Never Have I Ever given a blowjob'.

I tried not to choke and not to stare at Bella but I could barely help it. I did _not _like the thought of _that_. It seemed I was going to find out every detail of what Bella had and had not done.

Her glass remained in her hand.

I could sing. Literally give me a big enough audience and I could sing.

'Never Have I Ever gone down on a girl'.

My glass stayed on the ground, that was something I had definitely not done although I was surprised so many of the group had.

'Never Have I Ever eh played with a guy'.

Shit.

I needn't have worried, once again Bellas glass did not move. I of course was delighted with all of this but she was getting some strange looks from the group, especially the pack who knew about her relationship with Edward. Bella was surprisingly innocent for her age. I was pleased obviously but curious as to why she had never experienced anything with Edward, they had been together a long time. I knew that sex was dangerous but what about other stuff. Couldn't they touch one another at all without risking her life? Maybe he had touched her but refused the return. I didn't want to think of that.

I knew what was coming next and I was dreading it but I couldn't lie. She had been honest with me.

'Never Have I Ever played with a girl'.

I drank under her watchful gaze and then met her eyes but they had a look in them that I couldn't quite fathom.

The next question came from Josh and in my view it was purposely vindictive. He knew that Bella was the only person who wouldn't drink at it.

'Never Have I Ever seen a man's penis'.

When everyone finished drinking at this except Bella the game continued but died somewhat. All the interesting questions had been asked and soon after the game ended. People fell into smaller groups chatting and drinking but I felt how distant and quiet Bella was. It wasn't long until she said that she was going to bed, I nodded and watched her leave the room. I wanted to go with her but I thought that my departure with her would look very obvious, besides she might want some time alone.

In minutes however she had returned to my side and whispered in my ear;

'I forgot my pajamas'.

'Ok I'll get you a t-shirt, come on'.

Glad to have an excuse to leave I followed Bella up the stairs and into our room. I wasn't tired but I had no desire to go back downstairs again.

'We seem to have a slight problem' I announced after rifling through my bag.

'What?' she asked in strange voice from where she sat on the bed.

'I only brought a t-shirt for tonight and tomorrow and I obviously didn't think I´d be staying with you so I didn't bring any pajamas either. We could just both go naked?' I suggested and was rewarded with a laugh.

'Just give me the t-shirt you're wearing, that will do fine' she said.

I took the t-shirt off and threw it to her hoping it didn't smell bad. She lifted it and made her way to the bathroom to change.

'Hey' I called after her 'we didn't figure out what I'm meant to wear for pajamas?' this was a serious enquiry but she didn't turn to face me. Instead she merely said

'What you wore last time Jake' before shutting the door in my dumbstruck face.

Ok so what I wore last time wasn't exactly a lot. It was usually what I wore to bed but didn't things change when I was sharing a bed with a girl? Last time with Bella hadn't exactly been planned so that was different. I suppose this time wasn't planned either though and with no other options I stripped my jeans off and waited for her to leave the bathroom so I could brush my teeth. It occurred to me as I sat there that I probably should have kept the jeans on until after I had brushed my teeth but I wasn't putting them back on again.

Bella exited the bathroom shortly and I felt my stomach hit the floor.

The sight of her dressed only in my t-shirt was enough to make my heart crumble. She looked so beautiful but what got to me most of all was that she looked like mine.

I tried to shake these thoughts from my mind and we passed one another as I made for the bathroom, each of us trying so hard not to stare. I suppose it made sense why she looked at me so much. I had never thought about it much before but by the sounds of it she didn´t see any of Edward.

Not that she would want to.

Skinny little fucker.

I smiled at my reflection and left the room. Sadly Bella was already in bed so her legs were tucked out of sight. I got into the bed beside her and turned off the lamp. We may have been sharing a bed but the gulf between us was immeasurable. I knew she wasn't sleeping. I had to talk to her, to try and explain, to try and work out what she was thinking.

'Bella tonight, with the game, well I'm sorry. I should have made some excuse and we could have done something different'.

Her silence seemed to last an eternity but then I felt her turn to face me although the bed was so big this didn't mean she was anywhere close to me. I could just make out her features from the moonlight coming through the window above us.

'Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault'.

The silence descended on us once more but I didn't break it, I felt that Bella was building herself up to say something.

'We know a lot more about one another after that game. Don't you want to ask why? I won't be mad if you do.

'Bella I'm not asking anything, you already have been made to answer questions you didn't want to tonight. It is up to you what you want me to know'.

Silence again.

'I do want you to know but it's something I can't quite understand and well, I'm embarrassed Jake'.

'Bella you have nothing to be embarrassed about…' I began but she cut me off.

'Yes I do, I had a boyfriend who didn't want to touch me, who didn't want to do anything! What does that say?' she cried in despair.

'It says that he was a fucking idiot Bella, that's what it says. Besides things were different for you, sex would have been so dangerous, he could have killed you'.

'That's what he used to say, but he wouldn't even try and what about other stuff Jake? He always had an excuse why not and I was throwing myself at him like some desperate freak'.

Ok I was getting even more pissed off with Edward now and I hadn't thought that was possible. Bella thought he wouldn't go near her because she wasn't desirable.

'Bells you weren't desperate, it's normal to feel they way you did about stuff like that. Honestly Edward was an asshole and you can't exactly say he was normal'.

'Even besides Edward I've done nothing or seen nothing! And I want to Jake! I'm curious and I'm sick of being so innocent! But there has to be a reason that I am innocent, no one fancies me Jake and I don't blame them, I'm not exactly hot stuff. Even my own boyfriend didn't fancy me'.

She was kidding right? She had got to be taking the piss?

'Bella are you blind? No one fancies you? I have to stop myself from dragging you into a bed every time I see you. Don't you see the way I look at you?'

'No Jake you´re like Edward, you love me but you don´t think about me that way'.

'Don´t think of you that way? Bella every time I play with myself I think about doing you!' I was so frustrated that she didn't see how hot she was.

There was a silence after my last words and I realised that in my haste to assure her that she was attractive I might have revealed a little too much information.

Smooth Black.

'Ok eh so that might have been a eh little graphic, sorry'.

'Was it true?' she countered quickly and I mumbled a 'Yeah'.

Quietness descended once more and in it I berated myself for my appalling choice of words even if she didn't seem mad at them.

'But you've done stuff?' her quiet voice rose from the blankets.

I knew this was going to come up. There was no way of avoiding it.

'Eh yeah but it wasn't with anyone important I was just well young and well…'

I tailed off, not thinking that horny would be the best word to mention now.

'Curious' she concluded for me.

'Are you mad?' I asked fearful of her answer.

'No, how could I be?' she paused.

'I'm jealous Jake'.

Her words took me by surprise. I didn´t realise she felt so strongly about this, that she felt so shunned by Edward. Could she really be jealous of my fumble on the beach?

And I thought I was the only horny one.

I felt her draw closer and I stiffened. I was in a bed with Bella Swan, the girl of my dreams talking about sex and sexual things or her lack of to be more precise. This was all very strange. However when she came close she merely laid her head on my chest and curled up beside me.

Her hand was on my stomach but it wasn't still, it was tracing patterns up and down my abs. I could tell that she was thinking, lost in a world of her own but all I could focus on was the way her hand trailed up and down my abs sending goose bumps up and down my spine. This continued for a while and when I closed my eyes I couldn't help but imagine her hand slipping down, her hand was so soft, I could just imagine it wrapped around my cock. I had to stop. She wasn't even aware what she was doing.

I clamped my hand down on hers.

'Bella, stop. You have to stop' I gasped out, trying to control my breathing. This was not a good situation to be in so soon after such a tenuous conversation. Why did I get horny so quickly?

'Why?' she exclaimed in surprise, no doubt concerned about my breathing.

'Because, because' I started and failed trying to think of a viable excuse.

'Jake?' she probed and I caved.

'Damn Bella you're making me hard'.

Great excuse Black, really great.

I heard a sharp intake of breath from her.

'This makes you hard?' she asked in disbelief. Please no. Her curiosity should not be exercised on me, I was not normal. If we were going to make a list of all the things that made me hard we would be here for a _long _time.

'Yeah' I breathed, incapable of any more speech.

'But how? Why? I´m not doing anything sexual?'

Ah no she wanted to go into this with me, I was terrible at explaining myself at the best of times and I didn't think I'd be any better at this. I supposed that I had to try for her part though.

'It's just the feel of your hand rubbing, it, it eh makes me imagine you rubbing somewhere else and I can feel your boobs pressed against me. Quite frankly Bells you're driving me insane right now'.

She seemed to mull my words over and I was alarmed when I felt her continue her exploration of my abs. This was not happening to me. I was losing control of this situation way too quickly and I was losing control over myself too.

Her hand was getting lower. This was not in my imagination anymore, her hand was definitely getting lower. I felt it brush along the edge of my boxers and my damn of self restraint broke. I took her swiftly and flipped her until she was lying on her back and then I was on top of her, between her legs and before I knew what was happening I was kissing her like there was no tomorrow.

**Bellas POV**

We were kissing.

It was so like the last time and yet so different. The heat was there, his soft lips were there but this kiss was not cautious like the last one we shared. He was nipping at my lip seeking access to my tongue and when he did I felt a fire light along the length of my body. We kissed furiously and roughly and I groaned involuntarily. I felt him respond, his cock, rock hard now pushing further against me. Only the thin layer of our underwear separated us. A barrier so flimsy I wondered why it was there at all.

He drew my tongue between his teeth and bit it gently causing another moan to leave me and I returned his pressure below, my hips out of control as they longed for more of him. He left my mouth and began to leave kisses and bites along my neck. My hand were in his hair and then on his back clawing at the perfect russet skin. I was out of control, there was a fire inside that I knew only he could quench. I wanted more, I wanted to feel more and yet I knew somewhere deep down that we should stop before we both lost complete control.

His hands found the bottom of the t-shirt and he pulled it up revealing my breasts, I barely had time to register his faint growl as he lowered his mouth on to my nipple. He licked and flicked the soft bud with his tongue until it stood alert and then he nipped it and I groaned before he moved on to the other. His hand trailed up my sides as he worked and I wondered dimly why I had ever thought his being two years younger than me meant he knew less. There was no doubt that he knew what he was doing now.

'Jake' I groaned and he lifted his head to kiss me again. As he did so I felt all of him pressing against me once more. He was huge and he was so very hard. My hips bucked against him again and he growled into my mouth. He seemed feral, his wolf appearing in his display of raw desire. As he resumed licking at my breasts I felt his hand move to my underwear, to begin to edge them away.

'Jake' I gasped 'No'. I hoped he knew what I meant for I didn't think I could string more words together. These were not the circumstances for me to lose my virginity as much as I craved to.

He lifted his head to me again, his eyes wild with lust in the moonlight. 'I know, I just want to touch you, please let me touch you Bells' his eyes were begging his hands pulling at my underwear. I wanted to say no but I couldn't, the thought of his hands down there was too much to resist and I nodded before I knew what I was doing. I saw him bare his teeth in pleasure as he ripped the underwear off me and began to trail his hand down my body.

**Jakes POV**

She had nodded, she was giving me permission to do things I had only dreamed off. I ripped her underwear from her and began my descent down her body. I felt possessed, I had never known want like this in my life. I knew that we couldn´t have sex, that we shouldn't but I wanted to be in her so bad. I wanted to claim her as my own. My wolf was making a show here, now that I was so raw. I felt myself bare my teeth in pleasure and I was biting her a lot. She moaned at the biting though, she enjoyed my wolf then. The wolf that was demanding I claim her but I was fighting him.

I followed the thin trail of hair as I kissed her desperately. Then I felt her wetness and I growled again. She was so ready for me. But no. I had only my hand this time to explore her. I found the little nub I was looking for and began to stroke, leaning away so I could take in her face as she moaned my name. I slipped my other hand down my boxers and brought my cock out; I wanted to pull at myself as I brought her to an orgasm. I continued rubbing with my thumb and exploring further with my fingers, teasing the entrance I so badly wanted to penetrate. I was close to coming. I let go off my cock as I bent down to bite at her erect nipples and heard her panting breaths. My fingers were slipping smoothly between her wet folds, my thumb rubbing the little nub quicker and quicker.

'Jake' she moaned.

'Jake please' she begged. I knew what she wanted but she was going to have to ask. I wanted to hear the words come from her mouth.

'What?'

She moved her hand down on top of mine and began pushing at my fingers which rested just at her entrance.

'In, please' she pleaded.

My cock twitched again and I wrapped my hand around it and began to pump furiously as I made her confirm her wish.

'Do you want my fingers inside you Bella?' I asked and she moaned.

'Yes. Please'.

Slowly I brought one finger in and I could feel her tightness all around me, she was so wet and so small. It was all I could do not to come right there. I moved the finger in and out as she groaned and then put another in. She gasped aloud at the sensation and I began to pump my fingers in quicker and harder and deeper. I hooked them and felt her whimper at the place I'd hit. I'd found my goal. I concentrated on hitting the same spot with my hooked fingers and then when I thought she was close I began to massage her clit again with my other hand.

She was holding back, I could tell by her face. She was trying to stop herself, to last longer.

I snarled in frustration and pumped my fingers harder in her.

'Let go' I growled and she looked at me with her wide eyes.

'Let go' I repeated as I looked her straight in the eye and hit her g spot hard again. She tensed and I could feel her muscles tighten around my fingers and then she crumbled and I could feel her come. Her eyes were closed, her face flushed and her mouth moaned my name loudly as she reached her climax. I pumped furiously at my cock and soon I too was in ecstasy.

We lay panting side by side for some time until I cleaned up the mess I had made with my boxers and then flung them from the bed. Bella had pulled her top down and she turned to me;

'Jake' she began but I hushed her.

'Let's just leave all that to the morning' I said and I pulled her to lie against my chest once more.

'Ok' she agreed and we fell asleep.

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><p><strong>Did you like?<strong>

**Please let me know! It was difficult but fun to write.**

**I´ve had a lot more people add my story to thier favourites and to their watch since the last Chapter but I ain´t got no reviews from them yet ;-) Go on guys, it will take no more than a minute and it really makes my day to hear what you all think.**

**Lots of love! xx**


	7. Chapter 7: Dicing with Destruction

**I'm very sorry that it has taken so long for me to post this chapter, life has been getting in the way a lot the last couple of months and it was a long time before I felt I could face writing and do this chapter the justice it deserves. On the upside it's finally here and it's nice and long and after _a lot _of reviewing and editing I'm happy with it. So this is for all you patient supporters out there, enjoy :-) **

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><p><strong>Jacobs POV<strong>

I was woken by a stream of sunlight hitting me directly in the eyes, grumbling I turned away from it. It's then that I remember where I was am and I sit bolt upright. I am alone in bed and by the looks of it alone in the room. Bella must have left me earlier in the morning, my wolfy abilities of hearing did not apply when I was sleeping and I slept soundly. I cursed and threw the covers off, my nudity only serves as a further reminder of last night's events.

How could I have been so stupid?

Bella was vulnerable and I had taken complete advantage of her, I know that she started it but I should have been strong enough to stop it. Instead I had mauled her, I had no self-control whatsoever. Grinding my teeth I made for the shower, hopefully it clears my head and helps me think of a plan. We can't pretend that last night didn't happen, that will make things worse, make them a bigger deal than they already are.

Still I can't help but smile as I remember, last night had been even better than I had imagined and I imagined it a lot. Bella was so soft and so responding, as I turn the dial on in the shower the image of her face as she climaxed comes unbidden into my mind and groaning I reach for my straining hard on.

For a few minutes I'll forget the guilt and the trouble last night no doubt will cause.

**Bellas POV**

I know that Jake would think that I was mortified but for once that is not my overriding emotion. Anger is all that I feel and it is anger at myself; I have been such an idiot. None of last night had been his fault, I had started it and he couldn't have stopped it without making me feel worse about myself after everything I had told him. Jake wouldn't do that and so he continued in order to make me feel good about myself. It had worked then, last night, in the heat of the moment I had felt indestructible.

Now, in the cold light of day I felt like an idiot, I have been so desperate to be normal, to feel all the things that everyone spoke off that I had forced my best friend. I had been so happy when I had woke this morning tucked in his arms once again but the happiness had faded as the memories of last night returned and the feelings of shame and anger had crept in. I was glad that he was such a heavy sleeper as I grabbed my clothes and crept from the room. I have to avoid him today; I won't put him in any more of a difficult position than he is already in.

I prepared a stack of pancakes and left them ready and then I made for the surrounding woods for a walk. I have always enjoyed the solitude of forests; today that solitude is exactly what I needed. I left a note on the kitchen table beside the pancakes letting everyone know where I am, I don't want to worry them, I just hope that none of them follow me. Jake will understand why I have gone, hopefully he can persuade the others to leave me be.

**Embrys POV**

I woke at the crack of dawn and decided to go for a run. I could never sleep after a night of drinking whereas my brothers fell into virtual unconsciousness. With the safe knowledge that everyone else was in bed I phased into my wolf form as soon as I hit the cover of the trees. I ran and ran, encountering no one except a few small animals who didn't run from my scent quick enough. I had been running for hours when I smelt it, the putrid, smothering smell of the walking dead.

Vampires.

There were more than one and they were strolling these woods, soon here would be full of walkers and tourists.

I needed my brothers.

Despite running at break neck speed the run back to the cabin seemed to take a lifetime. I phased and reluctantly pulled my sweats on before I ran into the kitchen at break neck speed. The huge stack of pancakes caught my eye immediately, I grabbed the note beside them and as I read my blood goes cold.

Bella.

I took the stairs three at a time and burst into Jacobs room, he had left the door to the bathroom open and I could see him just stepping out of the shower. I ran over to him.

'Jake' I panted 'I was in the woods, I smelt vampires, I came back to get you. Look, what I found on the kitchen table' I thrust the note into his hands.

By the time I have got Quil, Jared and Leah from their beds Jake had already reached the woods.

**Bellas POV**

The walk was doing its' purpose, already I felt calmer and I could look at last night's events with a more realistic approach. Perhaps it hadn't all been me, Jacob had asked to touch me and he had made the comment about thinking about me when he pleasured himself before anything had even happened. Maybe it was both of our faults, or maybe mostly mine but a little his too.

It was mid-morning by now and I was beginning to get hungry. I decide to head back to the cabin to face the music with Jake and try and salvage the rest of the weekend as best I can. The woods were beginning to feel a little scary for some unknown reason; I supposed it was just because I knew what kind of creatures can lurk here. However if I started to think like that I would never go anywhere so I shook the morbid ideas away and set for the cabin.

They appeared from nowhere, two of them. I knew instantly what they were, they may not smell to me but I knew the different look between them and humans, the flawless features, the black eyes. They must be mates I thought dimly, somehow fear seems out of reach, it was almost comical to believe that after being engaged to a vampire it was to be an unknown pair that would mean my demise. The female had long white silver hair that gleamed in the early morning sun, the male the opposite with hair as black as night. They both stood only a few feet away smiling casually at me.

'What's a pretty young thing like you doing out so early?' the male asked giving me a wicked smile.

It must have been the sound or the smile but one of those triggers my fear and suddenly I was terrified. There is only one thing I wanted and that was to see Jake, just to see his face before I die. If possible I wanted to be able to tell him that I loved him but I knew that these were fruitless thoughts and that only intensified my fear worse. I hoped Charlie wouldn't be angry at Jake, it wasn't his fault.

I closed my eyes as the female advanced on me, I felt her stroke my cheek and my neck, the place she was to bite, she circles almost lovingly with her fingers. I suppressed a sob and instead cast an image of Jake, my brave and beautiful Jacob.

**Jakes POV**

Surely I was going mad. This was not normal, not even for a wolf man. This could not be happening to me. After everything we had come through I was going to lose her to some unknown vampires.

'**No' **

Leah snarled in my head.

'**We will find her'.**

'**We have to find her'.** I replied.

Life without Bella was unimaginable.

Then I smelt her but I could smell them too, they were close, too close. I ran toward the smell like I had never run in my life Leah kept pace with me. When we entered the scene the female was lowering her head to bite, the male waiting his turn just behind. Snarling I bowled her over and grabbed her white blonde head in my jaws. She tried to fight me but she had no chance, I was possessed as I tore her limb from limb and ripped at her with my claws. Behind me I heard Leah dealing the same fate to the male. I didn't stop, couldn't stop until Quill roared in my head almost deafening me.

'**JAKE' **

I snarled at the interruption.

'**She's done. Go to Bella'. **

It was the only thing that makes me stand away from the female vampire, I wanted to continue tearing at her until there was no bit of her left bigger than my fingernail but Quil was right, she is done.

'**We'll do the burning. Take care of Bella'. **

That was Jared in my head; already my brothers and my sister were dragging the vampire pieces away. They would phase and take lighters to the remains; my job now was to see to Bella.

I turned to look at her at last.

She was standing stock still with her arms wrapped around herself as if frozen, her eyes stared blankly ahead.

She had gone into shock.

I padded over to her and nudged her on the shoulder, she looked blankly at me.

For what seemed like an eternity we just stared at one another, the words to explain everything just too far away, just so totally inadequate. Finally she uttered two.

'Hug me'

I phased immediately and wrapped my arms around her my nakedness such a small issue compared to all the others we had. She was alive and that is all that mattered, it didn't matter if she was mine, last night didn't matter, none of it did, as long as she is alive. I held on to her tightly, my eyes closed, just listening to her breathing; that alone is enough for me. To hear her chest rise and fall was music to my ears.

'I love you' she whispered in my ear and I felt my heart stop.

'Just know that no matter what I love you; don't ever forget it Jake' she sounded so agonised as she said it but I understood what she meant. This mess we had got ourselves into, this friends, more than friends riddle we had written ourselves overshadowed the heart of the matter. She was telling me that whatever happens between us she will always love me. My feelings echoed hers exactly.

'I love you two Bella, I always have and I always will, no matter what'.

'No matter what' she whispered against my chest and I nod.

I could still feel her shaking in my arms, she had had a major fright after all. Just at that moment I heard the pack approach and I pull back from her a little. They had all put clothes on and seemed shocked that I was standing in front of Bella totally naked, if only they knew I thought to myself. They affirmed that they have burnt the parts and we all made our way back though the forest to the cabin, Bella held fast to my hand. The pack seemed to find this curious but I understood; Bella is more afraid at what else could be out in the woods than my nudity.

I couldn't blame her.

**Bellas POV**

Thankfully when we get back to the cabin the rest of the gang were still sleeping their hangovers off. Jake and I headed back to our room where he pulled a pair of boxers on and some sweats and a t-shirt while I averted my eyes. I settled myself on the bed and flick the tv on, Jake said he was going to speak to Embry for a minute and until he returned I was sick with anxiety. However when he pushed open the door of our room it was with a big, hot pile of the pancakes I had made earlier and a strong cup of tea for me.

He sat on the bed beside me and watched me carefully to made sure I ate enough, and then when I was finished he took the plate and cup from my hands, set them on the bedside table and pulled me close beside him. He wrapped his arms around me, kissed me on the forehead and told me how glad he was that Charlie was not going to have to shoot him over my death. I laughed and settle against his chest more thankful than ever that I have him in my life.

This is how Abigail found us half an hour later when she flung open the door.

'Afternooon!' she sand and then seeing us her face dropped.

'Eugh! I wanted to wake you up' she grumbled throwing herself at our feet on the end of the bed. It was incredible to think of all that happened that morning while she was still asleep.

'Nearly everyone is awake!' she exclaimed 'Or well everyone from La Push, please don't tell me you always get up this early?' she begged Jake. He laughed and told her it wass one in the day.

'I know the time Black but you should definitely not rise before 1 O Clock after a night of drinking, it's a golden rule. As a result of staying late in bed I have slept off my hangover and now feel ready to tackle the day!' she sat bolt upright as if to emphasise this but then clutched her stomach.

'Ok so maybe that was too sudden a movement' she moaned as Jake and I screamed with laughter. She glared at us for a moment and then started to laugh herself. Finally when we had all stopped she announced that we are all going to go out for lunch in an hour or so. I noticed Jakes face light up at this revelation and smile myself.

Was it possible to be in love with someone so quickly? It had to be because I officially loved Abigail. It reminded me that there was another female in this house who I needed to speak to. Saving someone's life was a pretty big deal after all.

I found Leah in her room sprawled out on the bed. As always I felt awkward in her presence, I tried to remember the girl from last night, the one who seemed happy, and the one who seemed to not hate me after all. She looked at me blankly as I took a deep breath. I forced myself to look at her as I spoke.

'I want to say thank you for today…' I began but she cuts me off.

'I didn't do it for you, I did it for Jake'.

'For Jake?' I asked confused.

'In case you haven't noticed he seems to love you and no matter how much I despise what you do to him he's family and for some unknown reason he would hate to lose you. So it was for him, not you'.

Her words cut through me like a knife.

'I didn't realise you hated me so much' I muttered, almost to myself. She heard me though and laughed derisively.

'You just don't get it do you. I don't hate you, in fact minus your vampire obsession you are by all accounts a nice girl. I hate what you do to Jake. I hate that you threw him into some twisted triangle that he didn't want to be part off. I hate listening to his feelings in my head, the torture you put him through, you're like a drug he can't get off and instead of walking away and letting him get better you keep coming back. Keep giving him false hope. In case you've forgotten dearest Bella I've been part of one of those triangles and I learnt the hard way that there is no hope. I hate you for doing to Jake what Sam did to me.'

Her outburst twisted the knife she had already dug into me. It tore me apart to hear what I had done to Jake, what I continued to do to him. There is no arguing with what she said, she knew how he felt better than I did after all, she heard his feelings first hand. I made for the door but before I left I turned to her;

'There is one thing you're wrong about. There is hope'.

With that I turned and left, fighting back the tears that threatened.

**Jakes POV**

Most of the house were suffering with hangovers so thankfully the remainder of the morning was spent relaxing. Bella and I spend it in our room watching TV, she seemed reluctant to part with me for any length of time and I was not objecting. It was clear that she was still very shaken from this morning. It still made my blood run cold to think how close I was to losing her, after everything that must have been the closest call yet. I needed to look after her better.

She pried herself away from me to have a shower before we go to lunch and I desperately tried to focus on the TV and not imagine joining her in the shower. Last night is far from forgotten but given this morning it doesn't seem appropriate to breach the subject. When she emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam she was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a light, pink top. Her hair was still damp, trailing down her back and she had applied some light make-up. As always she looked so beautiful and yet so simple and my heart both ached and relished the sight of her. By the time we left for lunch her hair had dried in loose waves but I made her take a jacket with her all the same. I was still worried about the shock she might still be in and the last thing I wanted is her getting a cold.

The restaurant that Abi chose was a typical American diner and I ordered eagerly. When the plates arrived my brothers and I grinned at the huge portions we each received, there was nothing quite so good as a proper sized meal. I kept a close eye on Bella and was glad to see that she eats a healthy amount but she was still very quiet. Thankfully the rest of the group were so noisy that Bella's reticent behaviour wasn't noticed. As we finished desert talk turned to buying more alcohol for tonight and perhaps going to a club. For the first time Bella speaks up.

'If we're going to the supermarket for more alcohol we should buy some food to cook for dinner tonight'.

That right there is why I loved her.

I mean, I would never have thought of that and then I would have been starving. The other girls looked stumped.

'I can't cook though Bella' voiced Harley and the rest of the group agreed.

'Don't worry Jake and I can cook' she smiled in return and I grin at her as my brothers snort derisively.

As proof to my brothers that I am now a fully-fledged cook I trailed Bella in the supermarket trying to look like I know what she's talking about as she picks items from the shelves. All the same it was nice to see her smile again, she always did enjoy cooking.

Just another reason why she was perfect for me.

Some hours later we made it back to the house laden with alcohol and food and it was suggested that we all jump in the hot tub. I was immediately up for this not only because of my love of hot water but it was just downright wrong to _not _go into a hot tub when offered. I know I looked like a little child when I started to race my brothers up the stairs to pull a pair of trunks on and in less than ten minutes later I was soaking in the hot bubbles. It was a little while later that I heard girls voices interrupt and I prized my eyes open just in time to see Bella in a slinky black two piece slide into the water beside me. I gulped as I feel her soft skin slither against mine and I tried to focus on her face as she smiled prettily at me. Soon she leant against me and I relished the feel of her soft wet skin, this was nearly torturous.

We spent the afternoon lazing in the deliciously hot water chatting easily and as the time passed Bella seems to relax and become more talkative. When she eventually peeled herself out of the water claiming to start dinner I was delighted to have a legitimate reason to follow her. I knew it was wrong but she looked _really_ hot in that bikini and I could see the miniscule drops of water running down the back of her legs and I had a strange desire to lick them off. She started for the stairs to get dressed before cooking but I stalled her by finding an apron in one of the drawers and throwing it at her.

'Let's just go swimwear plus apron style' I grinned at her and thankfully she agreed.

Concentrate I reminded myself as she leant down to take a saucepan out of one of the cupboards.

Thankfully I do manage to keep it together and somehow the Spaghetti Bolognese was easier to make than the dishes we tried before.

Maybe I'm getting better.

I posed this theory to Bella who laughed and assures me that is most definitely the truth. I couldn't help but wrap her in a brief hug and I got the reward of feeling her naked skin pressed against mine. I pulled away quickly before I got carried away and Bella gave me a shy smile.

Last night is not forgotten.

We prepared the table and called the guys in for dinner which went down surprisingly quickly considering lunch wasn't that far off. Bella was then persuaded to prepare some of her cocktails and we sat around drinking for a while. As the time passed Bella inched closer to me and I knew exactly why.

She was cold.

I was reluctant to suggest she changed so instead I pulled my chair over, put my arms around her and pulled her against me. She smiled up at me and continued in the conversation looking happier; I couldn't help but be smug.

Somewhere in the conversation it was suggested that we go clubbing and I immediately looked to Bella to see how she felt about this, clubbing was something she usually avoided at all costs and she may feel more vulnerable after this morning. She gave me a tentative smile as the rest of the group exclaimed their enthusiasm and before I knew it she was fretting that she'd brought nothing to wear to a club. Abi quickly assured her that this is not a problem and that she would find something of hers that Bella could borrow. Bella smiled and thanked her and then the girls left us in a giggle of excited chatter to get ready.

I lounged around with the guys for a little longer and then headed upstairs where I showered quickly and pulled on a pair of dark denim jeans and a dark green and navy checked shirt. I ran some gel through my hair quickly and sprayed some aftershave. Wallet in my pocket I took one last look in the mirror and headed downstairs.

The rest of the boys were already there, started on the beers, I grabbed one and joined them in the living room. We were still there, an hour and many beers later when the girls finally joined us. Bella was the last one into the room and as soon as I saw her I choke don my beer. Coughing and trying to wipe the tears from my eyes I looked at her again.

She was in an impossibly tight black dress; it actually looked like she had been poured into it. She had loosely curled her hair and darkened her eyes and her lips shone with a pale pink gloss. Her creamy smooth legs were accentuated by the high black heels she wore and somehow, for someone so clumsy she walked perfectly in them.

For some unknown reason I snapped my eyes around to the rest of the room and to my fury I realised that I am not the only one leering. Josh was too and I could punch him for it. Thankfully Bella came to sit beside me and I smiled happily at her. After some more drinks the cabs arrive and we piled out of the cabin. I found the whole journey difficult, it was near impossible to keep my eyes of Bellas legs and I was seething as Josh insisted on making conversation with her and plying her with compliments. At times like this it was important to remind myself that Bella was not mine, all the same, she sure as fuck wasn't his either and he better remember it.

The club was big and packed full of people, the music was good and the bar is thankfully within easy access. I made for it stopping myself from following Bella. A few minutes later however Bella slid up beside me and I grinned, absolutely elated.

'Drink?' I asked her and she nodded shyly, standing close to me.

I am reminded that she must still be frightened after this morning and cursed myself for leaving her, even if it was only for a few minutes.

We found a booth with some of the rest of the group and shared a few drinks and then Bella is dragged up to dance. She looked at imploring but I laugh and told her it will do her good. The boys and I headed to the bar where we started with some shots. There was an endless queue of girls standing close to us to get to the bar. Embry proclaimed that we have a prime position in a triumphant voice but I just laughed as the rest of my brothers eye up the women. I made my way through the throng for the bathroom, for some reason the queue is nearly as long as the womens, men these days spend nearly as much time in the mirror as women. Yet when I've finished washing my hands I couldn't help but check myself in the mirror too and run my hands through my hair.

What the fuck is happening to you Black?

I growled at myself in my head; I was turning into a wimp.

I weaved my way through the crowd again but when I reached the bar I couldn't see any of the boys; instead of tackling the mob again in a most likely fruitless search I decided to wait where I am. After a short while a girl slid in beside me at the bar.

'Hi I'm Tessa' she said as she waited for her drink to be served.

'Jake' I replied smiling back.

She noticed my accent and questioned where I'm from, I confessed I'm from out of town and we exchanged a few comments. She was funny and light hearted a welcome relief from my solitude and my worry of Bella and her whereabouts. A little while later I finally found someone I knew as Abigail approached us, I introduced the two and then Tessa leaves for the dance floor.

I asked Abi what she wanted to drink and then managed to grab the attention of one of the barmen and order.

'Well you sure know how to annoy a girl' Abi commented and I stare.

What the hell?

I hadn't done anything to annoy her; at least I didn't think I had.

She noticed my blank look because she elaborated as she turned to face the dance floor showing me the side of her face.

'Bella' is all she said.

What the fuck was I meant to have done to annoy Bella?

I was utterly lost in this conversation.

'Don't even _try _and fool me with the "we're just friends crap" Jake, my other friends might be oblivious but it couldn't be more obvious that there is a whole lot more to you and Bella than "just friends" Abi stated.

Ok so this is not what I expected to hear, how on earth did she know? Did Bella say something? Did she mention last night? And what has that got to do with Bella being annoyed?

'Shouldn't you be over there, prying her away from Josh?' Abi asked looking toward the other side of the bar behind me. I whipped my head around so quickly I cricked my neck. Josh and Bella were standing by the bar and he was standing way too close to her for my liking. He was leaning in to talk to her and she smiled at whatever he says. How long have they been over there? How long have they been together?

I could feel Abi staring at me, reading my face and I didn't know what to say. There was no point denying to her that Bella and I are more than friends, she clearly already knew that. Yet as I looked at Bella and Josh the stab of remembrance that she was not mine pierces once more. Wasn't that why we were in the situation that we were in? She chose someone else over me. It might be killing me to watch them together but I wasn't going to run after Bella anymore, I had made that resolution and I needed to stick to it. It was up to her to prove that she wanted me. I tried not to think of last night and what that might have meant as I turned to face Abi.

'I'm not going anywhere; it's her turn to chase. She knows where I am' I replied flatly and Abi raises her eyebrows and turned to face me fully.

'It's that complicated is it?' she asked looking at me as she sipped her drink. I nodded in agreement. If there was one thing Bella and I were it was complicated.

'She'll come to you Jake, you were driving her crazy talking to that girl'.

'It wasn't my intention, I didn't know she was there and besides Tessa and I just had a conversation'.

'Yes just like the way Bella and Josh are just having a conversation' she replied and I glared at her.

How did she do that? How did she know how I was feeling and how does she know that I've annoyed Bella? I couldn't imagine Bella telling her that.

'Men never intend to hurt us Jake' she said looking sadly into my eyes 'They just do' she smiled a watery smile, hugged me tight and disappeared into the crowd.

Now what the fuck was all that about?

That was women talk to the highest degree.

Was I actually meant to understand any of that?

Soon Jared came to talk to me and we had a good, coherent chat about how he fancied the pants of Abi and intended to do something about it. I bought him a shot for Dutch courage, slapped him on the back and told him he could do it.

I didn't mention the crazy women shit he might have to listen to.

I ordered another drink and took furtive looks over at Bella and Josh. He had a hand on her arm and seemed to be getting progressively closer and Bella looked a little confused and uncomfortable. My blood was boiling although technically he wasn't doing anything wrong. Then Bella looked up and caught my eye and I couldn't look away. Her eyes were begging me to come over to her but I wanted to be strong for once. Then Josh slipped an arm around her waist and I could see her leaning back from him, trying to ease out of his grasp. Her glance at me this time was desperate and before I knew it I'm pushing my way across the bar to her. As soon as I reached her she made to come over and hug me but Josh kept a firm grip on her waist, I glared at him and then hugged her instead, lifting her out of his way. He was clearly not happy about this act on my part but I needed to keep things neutral for Abi's sake so I forced a smile on my face and suggested the dance floor as though nothing had happened.

'You smell really good' Bella whispered to me as we made our way to where we had spotted the rest of the gang and my heart soared, such a small compliment but from Bella it meant everything.

'Well you look really good' I repled looking down at her, she blushed and turned her head away.

Always the modest one.

Abigail and the rest of the group were dancing to a fast song when we reached them and Bella seemed relaxed as she joined them. Jared was offering Abi drinks and smiling at everything she said and as the songs continues they seem to get closer and closer together. He was not the only who is trying though. Josh was desperately trying to engage Bella by facing her and putting his arms out to try and pull her closer. She was having none of it and instead to my humour does an artful spin which took her out of his reach and facing me. Recklessly and bravely I took a step closer so that we were inches from touching. A slow, sexy song came on and as the rest of the group began to grind and throw their hair back Bella blushed and looked me in the eye.

It must be the influence of the alcohol playing tricks on mind I decided as she began to move her body in slow and tantalising movements. I couldn't take my eyes off her, she was so incredibly sexy, and she looked almost like a different woman as she grinned a wicked smile in my direction. Impulsively I grabbed one of her swaying hips and brought her body flush against mine. She continued to move so that now she was rubbing herself lightly against me and I mimicked her actions as she wrapped her hands around my neck and mine encircled her waist.

Was this dirty dancing?

It had to be.

I was dirty dancing with Bella Swan

Holy shit.

I tried not to think of Charlie and his shotgun as I moved with her and soon it felt like it was only her and I in the room. As the songs change so does our dances but we remained touching all the time, I felt intoxicated, drugged as the night passed into the early hours of the morning. Then from somewhere the music stopped and the world came crashing down around us again. One of the girls grabbed Bella by the arm and dragged her toward the entrance hollering something about a kebab. Dimly I looked for my brothers, Jared appeared to have achieved his goal as I saw him leave with Abi's hand tightly encased in his own, Embry and Quil are easily located thanks to their height. Michael was with his girlfriend and Josh who I had now renamed The Prick was glowering at me from a far corner. I grinned in his direction and pushed my brothers to the door, I did not want Bella on her own for long.

Outside the club was teeming with people. How on earth was I meant to find Bella in this and keep hold of my brothers? I groaned and then remembered the kebab comment. The white food van would be a good place to start then; I gestured to my brothers and made for it. It was a mad crush of people looking for food, my stomach grumbled at the smells but I had more important things to worry about. Finally I saw her, pushing her tiny frame out of the crowd, a huge bag of food in one hand and her tiny clutch bag in the other. She wobbled precariously in her heels as she stopped to look around, her brow furrowed. Then some guy barrelled into her and she stumbled dangerously. I ran and managed to catch her before she broke an ankle.

'Jake' she smiled up at me as I beamed back.

I guided her to a low wall where the other girls were eating their food. Gently I lifted her onto it.

'You should eat your food' I said.

'Oh no' she shook her head.

'This is for you!' she grinned and pushed the huge bag into my arms. I laughed.

Awesome did not describe her.

'But you have to share with your brothers' she stated firmly as Embry and Quil looked longingly at the bag. Thankfully Jared had managed to get his own food. The boys looked delighted at this and eagerly took the bag from my hands. A slight scuffle later and I had managed to acquire a chicken burger and chips for myself. I tried to get Bella to eat but she says she isn't hungry.

The Prick showed up just as our cab pulled up at the end of the street, I glowered at him as I helped Bella off the wall. The girls, who were clearly in agony by this stage with their shoes wanted to take them off. I was having none of this; the ground was covered in glass. Before Bella could even entertain the idea I scooped her up in my arms and she whooped and laughed.

Christ her legs looked good.

My wolf was burning inside, demanding that I finished what I had started last night; the man in me was holding him back but with great difficulty. I wanted her as much as my wolf but I couldn't, I had to restrain myself. I had gone too far last night as it was, we still hadn't spoken about that and eventually we would have to. I had to reign myself in, I had to remember that she was not mine although it killed me to remember that.

On the journey home Bella was in good form and the chat in the cab was light hearted and funny yet I was still utterly distracted by her legs and her lips and just about everything. This was pure hell.

What was wrong with me?

I had always fancied Bella but this was nearly uncontrollable, I was like a man possessed. I couldn't get last night out of my head and I couldn't stop thinking about us dancing.

When we arrived back to the cabin I wrapped my hand around Bella's waist and helped her into the house. She made for upstairs and I assured her that I would follow her up in a minute although I wasn't sure that was safe. In the meantime I gestured to Quil and understanding my meaning he followed me out to the balcony.

I ran my hand through my hair, distracted beyond belief.

'What's wrong bro?' he asked looking at me with concern.

'Fuck I don't know. Honestly Quil I'm so close to just ripping that goddam dress off Bella'.

'Shit' was his reply.

'It's just the dress she's wearing mate, just stay downstairs out of her way tonight and you'll be fine'.

I shook my head; that was too simple, he didn't understand. This was driving me crazy. If only she wanted me too and things could be so much easier. Embry came out to join us and when he saw my face he asked what was wrong; Quil told him. He was quiet for a minute and then he spoke with assurance;

'It's your wolf' he said.

I looked at him, confused.

'Your wolf, it's demanding her, it's taking over' he said and despite how much it disgusted me I knew he was right.

I always fought my wolf but since I had run away I had begun to accept him a little more, began to find a little peace between man and wolf. Now he was taking over and I knew it was my fault for what I had started last night, the wolf in me didn't understand why I hadn't claimed her and the man inside didn't understand why I hadn't shown her how much I loved her.

I was officially going crazy.

'Stay away from her tonight' Embry warned me but it fell on deaf ears.

I couldn't stay away from Bella, she would think that something was wrong and she would blame herself. I would have to go to her and fight this, I had to stop myself.

I left my brothers calling my name and made my way upstairs; convinced that somewhere deep inside I had the strength and the humanity to fight this.

She didn't want me.

If I remembered that then perhaps I would have a chance.

When I entered the room Bella was just leaving the bathroom and to my dismay she was still wearing the dress and the heels. I growled deep in my throat and shut my eyes.

'Jake?' I heard her ask, her tone curious as to my reaction.

'What's wrong?'

I had to tell her. She needed to take that dress off for her own safety.

'Jake?' she asked again.

'Bella' I breathed.

'Bella, the dress, you need, you need…' I stuttered helplessly.

'My dress?' she questioned confused.

'You need to take it off' I blurted out.

A strange silence followed and I thought she had left to go and change so I opened my eyes but she was still standing there, silhouetted against the wall.

'Why, don't you like it?' she asked in a timid voice and in that second all of my resolve crumbled. Heck if she didn't want me she could push me off. I strode over to her in hurried steps and backed her against the wall pinning her in with my arms at either side of her head, my palms flat against the wall. I knew what I was doing was wrong; I was putting her into the most difficult of positions yet I couldn't stop myself. I said nothing as I looked down at her my body pressed flush against hers. For what seemed like an eternity she stood looking back at me, but she didn't push me away. Still I kept my position, trying to gauge some sort of answer by merely looking at her. Then when I finally thought that I had no chance, when it was time to back away and drown out my wolf she grabbed me by the open in my shirt and dragged my lips to meet hers.

**Bellas POV**

I was aware that this was complete madness, we hadn't even spoken about last night and here we were doing the same stupid thing all over again. Yet I couldn't stop myself, the way he was looking down at me, his eyes drilling into me, his body pressed along the full length of mine, I felt powerless as I pulled him down to kiss me.

His heat was immediately all consuming and tonight he did not need to nip to get access to my tongue as I gave myself over to him willingly my hands tight around the back of his neck. The kiss was frantic and heated and before long he wasn't only kissing but biting my lip and my tongue as well. The ferociousness of it was thrilling and addictive in equal measures.

This was all so wrong and yet it felt so right and my brain was unable to concentrate on any of that anyway and so I gave myself over to my body. I wanted to feel more of him, I had to feel more and so I brought my hands down to his chest and with fumbling hands I unbuttoned his shirt. He growled into my mouth as I ran my hand down his abs and then brought them back up to pull the shirt off his shoulders, I wanted to feel his bulging biceps, to try and fit my hands around them.

He kept his lips on mine as he pulled the shirt off fully and then he lifted me until I sat around his waist, pinned against the wall. My dress rode up so that it was barely covering me but it didn't matter, he was pressed that close to me that there was no possible gap. Jacob was so strong that he was able to hold me there with only one arm whilst the other trailed up and down my leg sending shivers up my spine. I felt as though there were electric currents running through my body as he pulled his lips from mine and instead brought his attention to my neck which he kissed and licked as I dug my nails into his shoulders and groaned. He was driving me crazy and yet I knew he was being careful, holding something back, treating me gently and I didn't want that.

His nuzzling at my neck was not enough and before I had thought the words through I said;

'Bite me Jake' in a desperate tone.

He obliged instantly with a growl of pleasure sinking his teeth into my neck but he stopped too soon, clearly afraid to hurt me.

'Harder' I insisted and I felt him hesitate before he applied more pressure and I groaned, I couldn't quite understand why I liked this but the mixture of pleasure and pain was sending me crazy as he continued to stroke my leg, moving from one to the other.

I licked his shoulder as my hands and nails continued to explore his back and arms and before I knew it I was biting hard into the taut muscle of his shoulder. He snarled and carried me from the wall to the bed upon which he threw me unceremoniously. He stood above me breathing heavily and glaring like a man possessed.

We should stop.

I knew it.

But I didn't want him to stop.

Inside I was begging him not to stop.

He knelt at the end of the bed and started to kiss the inside of my ankle, he was kissing and licking his way up the inside of my legs and it was incredible and frustrating at the same time. I wanted to touch him, to feel him and yet I didn't want him to stop, he was getting higher and higher up my legs and I was shuddering and trying to reach some part of him at the same time. Then he pushed my dress up and my legs apart as he reached the top of my inner thighs, I sucked in my breath sharply as he licked the soft skin there. At that moment as I finally got to reach some part of him and wrap my hands in his hair he bit me and I cried out.

He rose and I could see by his face that he thought he had hurt me and I took the opportunity to grab the back of his neck and drag him on top of me and scrape my nails along his back. I could see the shock registered on his face but there was also pleasure written there too and before either of us could question what we were doing we were kissing again.

**Jakes POV**

This was fucking awesome.

Reckless and stupid but fucking awesome all the same.

I was lying on top of Bella, propped on my elbows so that I wouldn't crush her and she was driving her nails into my back making me groan. I attacked her neck again, biting and sucking and my wolf growled in approval of my leaving my mark on her. Then she lifted her legs and wrapped them around my waist so I was pressed even closer to her, my throbbing cock itching to be touched.

The darkness of the room enveloped us but Bella must have turned on one of the bedside lamps before I had come up so I got to see her. I made to move down her body, I wanted to see her breasts again, to tease her nipples until they stood upright but Bella shook her head and tried to push me off. Physically she had no chance but I understood and got off her and instead lay by her side.

Reality must have sunk back in.

I was stunned when she came and sat over me, her dress riding up until I could see a scrap of the bright pink, lacy underwear she wore. My heart was hammering at her confidence as she leaned down and began to lick and bite my neck and as I realised she was about to leave her own mark on me I growled, grabbed her hips and pulled her down on me as I drove my own pelvis up to meet hers.

She gasped, releasing my neck but I was beyond control now as I continued to thrust at her. She sat up, still straddling me and ran her nails down my chest and my abs until she reached my belt which she unbuckled with a feverish look. My breath was coming in short gusts but I needed to stop her before she went too far. I didn't want her to feel pressurised.

'Bella' I gasped as I shook my head.

She nodded at me.

'Yes' she replied to my unspoken complaint but then she blushed.

'Just show me, show me how' she stuttered, looking mortified.

'Bella, no you don't have to do this' I said but she shook her head at me.

'I want to'.

'No' I whispered back.

'Please' she begged and I could see it in her eyes that she actually wanted this.

What had happened to us?

I nodded, gulping, aroused beyond belief at the thought of her finally touching my cock.

I pulled her back down to kiss her hard, passionately, crazy beyond belief with my want for her.

She rose after we broke apart and sat back over me; she reached for my button and undid it and my zip with shaking hands as I ran my hands up her legs. I pulled her dress up so that I could grab her ass and moaned when I realised she wore only a thong. I kneaded my hands into the soft flesh as I felt her hesitate at the waistband of my boxers. I understood that she was nervous but still she seemed determine to proceed and so bubbling with lust I pulled my boxers down and drew out my cock.

It stood fully erect, pulsing in my hand and Bella looked at it with wide eyes.

'Bells…' I began again but she cut me off as she placed her small hand around the base of my cock and I sucked my breath in.

She looked at me pleadingly and I obliged by placing my hand over hers and moving our hands up and down my cock. As the pace quickened my breath came in short, laboured bursts and I drew my hand away unconsciously to grab her ass roughly with both my hands.

Bella stopped momentarily and I panted;

'Please Bells, don't stop'.

She restarted stroking and I was getting close, yet I was frustrated, I wanted to touch her properly, I wanted to be in her. My wolf was roaring at me, furious that she was on top, in the position I ought to be in and I couldn't fight him anymore. I grabbed her by the hips and rolled us over so I was looming over her, baring my teeth in pleasure at her submission. She looked at me bewildered before I reached down and ripped her underwear from her, I heard her gasp but I gave her no time to speak before I drove my two forefingers deep inside her.

She cried out and I wasn't entirely sure if it were solely from pleasure but I was beyond myself as I dug my teeth into the supple skin above her breast. She was so deliciously wet and I was so hard, the combination was there but the circumstances were not. So I would take what I could and make her orgasm with my hand. I pumped relentlessly and hooked my fingers to find the place that made her crumble and within minutes she cried out my name and fell apart in my hands.

Coming down from her high she reached down for my cock again and began to draw her hand furiously up and down as she kissed me frantically. Her soft hand rubbing up and down was so good it was nearly torturous, I was so very close and I knew what was needed to send me over. I brought my hand back down to her and pushed my fingers deep inside once again.

'Jake, no, not again' she whimpered but I growled in return;

'Yes again'.

'I can't, I can't' she was trying to tell me she couldn't come again.

'You can' I stated and groaned as she continued to stroke hard at me.

I was so near, the feel of her soft inside was driving me over the edge, I shuddered, feeling the crescendo inside me rising and then with a cry I was coming, soaking the cover and with a few swift strokes she was crying out as well.

Silence descended as I leant my head on her shoulder and tried to catch my breath. How were we ever going to talk about this? Had we destroyed us for good?

The thoughts swirled around my head, torturing me as I felt Bella move from under me, somewhere in the distance I was aware of her taking off her shoes and crawling into the bed. I followed suit, shrugging my jeans off and getting into the bed, the silence was suffocating. Then from the darkness she whispered;

'What have we done?'

The question was so heavy and her tone so sad that it made my heart twinge. I didn't have the answer she wanted, I had no idea myself and I was terrified that we had gone beyond repair this time.

'I don't know' I whispered back and then somehow we were hugging in the bed and she was crying and there were tears in my own eyes.

It made no sense.

Here was the girl I was madly in love with and who claimed she was in love with me too crying because we had crossed the friendship line.

Crying because it made no sense.

Crying because we had both hurt each other so much that we weren't sure if there was any future for us.

Somehow we had re-established a friendship from the wreck we had both made and now we might have destroyed that too.

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><p><strong>So what did you think? Super hot right? Please, please review, it really motivates me for the next Chapter.<strong>


	8. Chapter 8: Ice-Cream and Idiots

**It's here finally! I hope your patience has not run out, it has, as always been a busy month. I'm in my final year of my Law degree so I don't have a lot of spare time and I like to have my chapters perfect before I post them for you all. It's exciting with a BIG cliffhanger! Enjoy :-) **

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><p><strong>Bellas POV<strong>

When I woke on Sunday morning I was relieved to find Jake still fast asleep, his bronze face illuminated in the morning sun. The sight made me want to stay in bed and just look at his beauty but I was aware that I was still wearing my dress from last night and that reinforced the memories of what we had done last night. I had to get up, I had to try and process what we had done and what it meant.

Sliding quietly from the bed I winced as I stood, I was tender from Jakes actions last night. I grabbed my bag and made for the bathroom, blushing when I found my torn underwear on the ground. When I looked at myself in the mirror I barely recognised myself.

The facts were there, my hair was the same, my eye colour had not changed and my skin was the same colour and yet it was all different. My hair was dishevelled, my eyes bright and my skin… my skin was covered in faint bruises that mirrored Jake's mouth. On my neck there was a deeper, circular purple bruise and I remembered with a squirm how Jake had sucked and bit me there.

How was I meant to forget last night when Jake had left himself written across my body? I sighed, stripped off and got into the shower. As the water hit my skin I realised with a pang that I was washing his scent off me. The hot water helped calm me although it did not present the answers I desired.

I had no idea how I was going to face Jake.

How could we recover from this and what did it mean?

There was no denying now that I was physically attracted to him and he had made me realise a long time ago that I was in love with him. I was aware that to anyone on the outside of this conundrum the answer would have been simple, factually we added up to the perfect couple.

Yet facts did not reflect the heart of the matter, they did not address the hurt that we had caused one another that we had yet to talk about. The facts did not speak of the confusion I felt when I thought of Jake and thought of Edward and the facts did not explain how we were meant to move from friends to lovers.

A crucial part of the equation which Jake did not know off tortured me nightly; I may have refused Edward but I could not refuse the Volutri.

Sometime soon they would realise that I had separated from Edward and that I remained human. The Volturi did not tolerate their demands being flouted, as of yet I did not know how I was to solve this puzzle but I knew that by entering into a relationship with Jake I would be pulling him closer to danger and I loved him too much for that. If the Volturi were to come for me the least I could do was leave Forks and draw them away from the people I loved. I knew that there was no way to tell Jake this because he would insist on protecting me.

I had made this mess and it was up to me to get myself out of it.

There was the other blaring issue that we both forced to address.

I was not Jake's imprint.

There was no getting away from this fact and I didn't think I could ever be with him without constantly worrying that he would leave me. I had been left before but it wasn't the same, I had never been replaced by another woman. Again, there was no point bringing this issue up with Jake, I could guess what he would say.

He would claim that he could fight it, that it wouldn't come between us. I didn't know if this was true but what was the point when I would have to leave Forks eventually anyway? By the sounds of it we were going to be leaving each other at some point, was it worth fighting the inevitable? I sighed as I scrubbed, holding back tears of frustration.

When I finally left the shower and the bathroom Jake was up and dressed. He wished me good morning and told me that we were going to leave within the hour for home; the weather was bad and it gave to worsen as the day progressed so he wanted to drive when it was safer. I nodded my agreement and began to stuff myself into the bag I had brought, I included Jake's t-shirt, it was only right that I washed it after he had leant me it. I was aware of the stiffness there was to our conversation but tried desperately to ignore it.

As Jake showered I made some pancakes in the kitchen for breakfast, the rain pounding on the windows. The pack greeted breakfast warmly and after everyone was fed and the goodbyes were said we made for home. I was relieved that Abi decided to travel home with Jake and I, she filled the silences and didn't seem to notice our feeble attempts at conversation and our belated laughs.

The journey seemed agonisingly long and as we progressed the clouds emptied buckets of rain on us. Jake slowed his speed to a crawl, as he squinted into the downpour and early darkness that the clouds had brought. Finally we reached Forks and the welcoming lights of home beckoned me in. Abigail passed me my bags from the back seat and as Jake made to get out of the car to say goodbye I told him not to.

'You'll get soaked in this' I said forcing a smile.

I leant over to give him a hug and whispered;

'Thank you for a great weekend'.

'You're welcome' he replied and smiled too but it wasn't the same blinding grin he usually gave me. There was a hint of sadness and confusion behind it that I couldn't deal with facing at the minute.

I wished Abi goodbye and exited the car for the torrential downpour outside, running as quick as I could for the shelter of the house. Charlie greeted me happily and asked keenly how the weekend had been. I tried to relate how much I had enjoyed it as coherently as possible and as I did so it reminded me that I had really loved the time away. The weekend had been so fun but being home also brought with it the reality of what Jake and I had done. In the cabin, I had felt like I was in a bubble but now the real world was coming crashing back around me and I didn't know how or when I was going to face Jake.

I told Charlie that I was tired and was going to take a nap for a few hours before making some dinner and attacking my school work. He smiled happily at me and I reflected how odd it was to have him happy at my having a crazy weekend away. If only he knew, I don't think he would be so happy. I tried to shake these thoughts and the memories of Jakes hands on me as I made my way upstairs. I had had to pull my hair to the side and tie it there to cover the mark Jake had left on my neck but as I stripped for bed I couldn't help but trail my finger over it. I knew that it was the last thing that would help but I pulled his t-shirt from my bag and put it on, unable to resist the temptation of his scent. Then I turned off the light and got into bed hoping against hope that I would get a few hours rest from my swirling thoughts and awake to answers.

**Jakes POV**

I left Abi at Sam and Emilys and made my excuses to make for home; Sams reminder of patrol that night ringing in my head. I was in a foul mood and I knew that my brothers were keen for me to phase so they could see what I refused to tell them. I didn't even know how to begin to explain or reason what had happened between Bella and I.

There was more troubling me than the confusion that had settled last night. Despite Bella's best attempts to hide it I could see the mark that I had left on her neck last night and I knew that the rest of her must be peppered with similar bruises. Even worse than this, I noticed that she was walking gingerly and I saw her wince when she sat in the car.

I was disgusted with myself, both the human and the wolf that resided in me. I had always thought that I was so much better than Edward, better suited to Bella. Yet I was no better for her than he; I was still unable to touch her without hurting her.

I was still a monster, just a different kind.

I got home and greeted Billy abruptly then ripped of my t-shirt and pulled on a pair of cut off sweats and trainers. I needed to run, to clear my head but there was no way I was phasing; I wasn't ready to face the part of me that was increasingly dominating my life, the part of me that I couldn't hide even in the most human of moments.

Billy said nothing as I left the house for the storm outside and I was thankful for that. The thrashing rain felt good as I set off at a jog out of La Push, I knew that deep down all I wanted was to run and not come back but I had tried that approach before and it had not worked. It wasn't fair on the people who cared about me and it wasn't fair on Bella. I had to apologise to her. I just didn't know when I would be able face her, hopefully when I did she wouldn't bear the signs of my violence.

**Abigails POV**

I had been at La Push for three days and finally beginning to settle in. I had managed to get a full time job in Forks at the local nursery looking after the little kids and I was delighted. Now though I really needed a car to get back and forth and as Jake was the one to go and see I had decided to go today. I found him in his garage tinkering away at his car, I kicked his foot and he rolled out from underneath.

'Hey' he greeted getting to his feet.

'Hey' I replied 'I'm here for a little favour.' I smiled and he returned a feeble grin;

'You need a car don't you?' he questioned and I nodded.

'I've got just the thing' he said and led me outside and round the back where there was a small silver car.

Jake started rambling about its various features and benefits but I was already nodding as I looked at the clean interiors. I didn't know much about cars; as long as it looked ok and got me from A to B I was happy. I thanked Jake for finding something for me to drive so quickly; before I had even asked actually. He said that he had guessed I would need something but he had a little work to do on it yet.

'It should only take another day or so' he said as we made our way back to the garage. His silence was ominous; I had heard from Sam that he was in terrible form recently and that he had been avoiding the pack, refusing to phase or do his patrols. I had a pretty good idea what was wrong and although I didn't want to intrude Jake looked like he could do with some sort of help or someone to talk to at least.

I sat on one of the rickety chairs as Jake leant on the bench and asked how I was getting on living with Sam and Emily. Soon however the trivial chat tailed off and Jake stared off into the distance.

'Jake' I said quietly but he kept his back to me.

'What happened between you and Bella at the weekend?' his neck snapped up and he turned swiftly.

'I don't know what you're talking about' he said a little too quickly.

'Come on Jake, I'm not stupid. Are you telling me that it was someone else who gave her that love bite?' I replied, cutting to the chase. A tormented expression came across his face and he grabbed his hair in his hands. Still he didn't speak, he seemed determined to keep everything inside but he wasn't coping with the situation at all.

'Did you sleep together?' I asked and finally he spoke.

'No, no' he affirmed and I waited, hoping he would give me something to go on.

'We stopped, I stopped before that' he relented.

'Why are you like this Jake? What's the problem with what you done?' I asked and then he was off, telling me all of the twisted history of him and Bella.

Telling me about how he had always loved her, even as a boy and how delighted he had been when she had returned to Forks. Yet she had only ever looked at him in a brotherly way, he was always too young for her. Then Edward had come on the scene and Jake had all but been obliterated from Bella's consciousness. When Edward had left it was Jake who had been left to pick up the pieces and finally he felt he was making progress, making her see that she loved him too. All of that had fallen apart when Edward had returned but Jake had refused to give Bella up without a fight and she finally saw the truth; she loved him too. Still it wasn't enough, she claimed she loved Edward more and was going to marry him, going to become a vampire.

Jake had left, tried to sew up the wounds that Bella had left behind and when he thought he could cope, when he had begun to miss home too much he had returned. It was to find Bella human and single again and since then things had been very complicated for them both.

'Do you see now what the problem is? How are we meant to maintain a friendship after this weekend? I am as much of a monster as the leech' he cried in despair.

I couldn't deny that the situation between Bella and Jake was complicated and yet I couldn't help but feel that they were making things worse for themselves. Jake was talking as though he had taken complete advantage of Bella and I knew that wasn't the truth. Bella couldn't keep her eyes off him the whole weekend, nor could she stay away. They had acted together and whilst it didn't add up to their proposed friendship idea it was clearly what they both wanted.

'Why on earth do you think you're a monster?' I asked in shock.

'The bruises I left, the way she was walking…' he cut off, biting his lip.

'You're not a monster Jake. So what you left a few bruises? A love bite is a normal bruise between couples and anyone can see that you care for her.'

He shook his head and sat down on the worn sofa, his head in his hands. I went and sat next to him and took one of his hands away and lifted his chin.

'Jake I'm a woman too and so I want you to listen to me, I know what I'm talking about. Biting is normal, Christ it's _good _Jake. Bella doesn't want to be treated like porcelain, no woman does. She wants to see your passion; she wants to know that she excites you.'

He looked at me with his dark eyes as though desperately wanting to believe me but just not quite sure if what I said could be true.

'But the way she was walking, I hurt her' he said shaking his head at himself in disgust.

'Jake you heard Bella on Friday night when we played that game; she had no experience with anything sexual.' I looked down at my knees as I spoke now, a bit embarrassed to be talking about this with a guy I hardly knew.

'For a woman, the first time for anything like that leaves you a bit tender Jake. It's not sore exactly, just a bit odd and achy and when you think about it, it makes sense. I mean, look at the size of your hands' I said lifting one of them and blushing as I did so.

'I can promise you that you have not left her in agony. There is a big difference between you and Edward; he couldn't touch Bella because in doing so he risked her life. You never put Bella in that position; you're not a monster.'

He nodded but I could see that he was still questioning himself; still tormented about what he thought was his fault.

'Have you spoken to Bella?' I asked him but he shook his head.

'No, how can I? I don't even know where to start.'

'Has she contacted you?' I asked and again he shook his head.

This was utter madness, Jake and Bella clearly loved each other and now they were refusing to speak because they thought they had done something wrong. Who did they think was judging them?

They needed to speak to one another, I could sit here all day with Jake but it would get me no further. He needed to hear the truth from Bella and as she was refusing to talk to him either someone was going to have to step in and help.

Tomorrow I was going to Bellas to try and make her see sense.

**Bellas POV**

It was Thursday; four days since I had last seen Jake and it felt like an eternity. I had gone back to relishing my hours in school, my hours immersed in books; my hours free from my torturous thoughts. The word was cold and lonely without Jake and his smile and as the silence between us continued the nightmares grew worse.

I had no idea how to fix the mess I had got myself into and judging by the fact that my phone had been ominously quiet all week Jake didn't either. I wallowed in my own misery and yet I couldn't help but remember our weekend together, it was almost as though my brain was determined that I wouldn't forget it.

It was Thursday evening and I was sitting in shorts and Jakes t-shirt trying to tackle an English essay when I heard Charlie opening the front door. I didn't pay much attention until I heard a rap at my bedroom door;

'Bella, it's Abi, can I come in?' she sang through my door.

I sat in shock for a minute before stuttering;

'Yes, yes of course'.

She bounced in, a blur of energy with a tub of ice-cream in one hand and two spoons in the other and settled on my bed. I couldn't help but smile at her relaxed attitude; it felt like the first smile in a long, long time.

'I'm so glad to see you. I mean, La Push is great, there are a serious amount of hot men to leer at but after a while you get fed up trying to always look presentable and I could do with talking about something other than cars or who is the faster wolf' she gabbled in a rush, patting the bed beside her and cracking open the ice-cream.

'Did you manage to find a job?' I asked, taking up the offered position and tucking into the ice-cream, it was strawberry cheesecake, my favourite.

'Yeah' she replied 'At the local nursery, looking after the little kids. Thank God, I'm starting to suffer from boredom already.'

'Oh kids, that'll be hard work' I commented but she smiled.

'Should be ok, I like kids and I prefer the little ones, it's when they start talking that the problems arise' she said seriously and I laughed.

'So are you going to tell me about Jake?' she asked and I started at the sudden change in topic. I looked away from her, not wanting to open this can of worms.

'Come on Bella' she cajoled 'I spoke to Jake yesterday and he's grumpy as hell'.

My head snapped back round to look at her and before I could stop myself I was asking;

'Why, what did he say to you?'

'You mean, did he tell me what happened between you two at the weekend?' she confirmed and then continued 'Yeah he told me'.

I blushed and looked down at my knees, how could Jake have told her? I mean we hadn't even spoke about it and he was already telling other people. It was then that I remembered pack telepathy and cringed as it dawned on me that the whole pack must already know.

'Bella he's a complete mess, he hasn't phased in the last week at all and I virtually had to beat the reason out of him.'

'He hasn't phased?' I asked, brightening at the relief that the pack did not know what had happened. Yet why was Jake refusing to phase? It didn't make sense. In fact, none of this made any sense at all.

'No and it's because he on self-hating course about being a monster for hurting you, bladeblah. I _tried _telling him that a few bruises and a bit of wincing was nothing really but he didn't seem to buy it. Now he's refusing to phase, refusing to turn into this 'monster' he's convinced he really is. That and because he doesn't want the pack to know what happened, although it's _obvious _something is wrong. Sam is beginning to get seriously pissed off' she concluded taking a large mouthful of ice-cream and looking at me expectantly.

I didn't know what to say to her. Jake thought that he was a monster? Surely he couldn't think he had hurt me that bad? I had _asked _him to bite me, had he totally forgotten that? It sounded as though his week had been as miserable as my own. What was I going to do?

I groaned and put my head in my hands.

'Abi how are we going to fix this?' I asked, hoping that someone had the answer.

'To be honest babe I can't quite work out why you both think you've broken it. By refusing to talk to one another you are blowing the situation _way _out of proportion. So what you had a bit of a fumble? You had both been drinking, you were sharing the same bed and you clearly have the hots for one another. Can you seriously tell me you didn't enjoy it?' she asked grinning wickedly at me. I blushed again and she hooted with laughter.

'Ok, ok, so it was good at the time but this is the real world now. Jake and I are friends, and even getting back to that stage has been pretty difficult, how are we meant to continue being friends after this?' I cried in despair.

'Just forget about it. You both need to meet and be like "Ok whatever happened last weekend happened. It was both our decision and now we're going to move on." Although I wouldn't close the door on this ever happening again because you both fancy each other and to be honest it's inevitable.'

I threw a pillow at her.

'That was _not_ helpful!'

'Ok, so forget about the last bit but you have to admit it is a bit like 'When Sally met Harry…' I glared at her and then she continued;

'Just meet up and agree that it was no one's fault and that you are both going to move on and forget about it. Simple' she said and I could have groaned. This was way more complicated than that although I could see that Abi was not going to agree with me.

'Can we talk about me now?' she asked out of nowhere making me smile.

'I mean I _really _fancy Jared, I actually don't think it's safe for him to be left in close quarters alone with me but I'm not ready for anything serious so what am I meant to do?'

I laughed out loud which resulted in a pillow in my face. Feeling somehow happier despite the fact that I still had no solutions to my predicament with Jake I threw the pillow back and took a spoonful of ice-cream.

'I think you should just meet him and tell him that. Boys aren't usually into the serious thing anyway so I'm guessing he'll be fine with it' I said after I swallowed my mouthful and she smiled at me and wrestled me into a one armed hug.

'You see. This is why I had to come see you, I needed some girl chat. Now can we please put a romantic comedy on where we each pretend that the main guy is Jake or Jared?' she asked laughing.

I relented and before I knew it I was watching 'A Cinderella Story', getting my nails painted and somehow agreeing that both Jake and Jared were _way _hotter than Chad Michael Murray.

This must be what it felt like to have a proper girl friend.

I had definitely been missing out.

It didn't occur to me until much later that I hadn't asked Abi why she wasn't ready for a serious relationship.

**Abigails POV**

After my talk with Bella yesterday I had decided that it was time for action, this stalemate between Bella and Jake was absolutely ridiculous and yet neither of them seemed to realise it. I had to get them to talk and persuasion was obviously not going to work so I had concocted a plan; I just hoped it wasn't about to go seriously wrong.

**Jakes POV**

Friday had come and still there was no word from Bella, no phone call, no text message, nothing. Still I hadn't phased although the wolf inside me was clawing to get out; I refused to indulge him. The pack was bewildered and Sam was seething but I didn't care. Abigail had helped a little, perhaps I hadn't hurt Bella as much as I had thought but there were innumerable issues that could not be fixed until Bella and I spoke and yet I was too embarrassed and afraid to lift the phone myself. Deep down I knew that it was madness and yet it still didn't shake me to take action. So I brooded and moped and grunted answers at anyone who dared to speak to me.

It was little surprise that Friday evening found me under a car in my garage; it was where I had spent most of my week. I dragged myself out from underneath the car to answer my ringing mobile.

'Hello'

'Hey Jake it's Abigail! I was wondering if you feel like meeting me in town for some ice-cream?' her voice rang down the phone.

'Oh hey Abi, em I don't know' I said scratching my ear, I wasn't really up for socialising yet Abi had been kind enough to hear me out the other day and to try and help.

'Oh come' she wheedled 'You need to do _something _other than look at the engine of a car. You'll go crazy and I'll buy!'

I couldn't help but smile and so I relented and agreed. She was already in Forks so I said I'd meet her at the ice-cream place in half an hour.

I made my way inside and pulled on some clean sweats and a t-shirt and ran some gel through my hair before spraying some aftershave. I called in with Billy and told him where I was going before leaving the house. I knew that he was worried about me, if my bad mood hadn't given enough reason for concern my refusal to phase had. I tried to shake these sullen thoughts away as I drove to Forks. I hoped Abi would distract me and cheer me up but as I pulled up to the ice-cream place I saw Bellas red truck parked outside.

I froze.

What was this?

As I parked I realised that I had no choice, Abi would be waiting for me and by the looks of it so would Bella. If I didn't turn up they would know that I had seen the truck and then chosen to leave and that would make things immeasurably worse.

It looked like the time had come to face the music.

**Bellas POV**

It appeared that Abi had quite an attachment to ice-cream. She had taken my number when she called yesterday and today in school I had received a message inviting me out for ice-cream. Abi had proved to be the only person who could distract me from my constant inner battle about Jake and I enjoyed her company so I had accepted. Emily had left her to my house and then I had driven us further into the town. We had just got our ice-cream and taken a seat in one of the booths when the door swung open admitting an icy draft with it. I looked up and my heart stopped in my mouth.

There silhouetted against the dusky sky was Jake in his customary sweats.

I whipped my head around to look at Abi. She grinned in a sheepish way which immediately told me that she had planned this. Had Jake been part of it? What on earth was I going to say to him?

I wasn't ready to face this.

He walked over with purposeful strides and sat opposite us in the booth with his hands folded on the table.

'Hey' he said in a low voice looking at me.

'Hi' I virtually whispered back.

'I'm guessing you planned this' he said to Abi.

Well that answered one question at least.

'Yes' Abi replied in a confident tone as though threatening Jake to challenge her.

'I organised this because both of you are being complete idiots and neither of you seem to realise it. How on earth did you think you were going to sort things out if you refused to speak to one another?' she questioned and I looked down at my knees.

Jake kept silent too and then Abi was off on one.

'This is ridiculous! Both of you keep saying that what you did should never have happened because you are friends and you are afraid what you have done will destroy that friendship. It is so obvious that you are physically attracted to one another and yet you continue to deny those feelings because it is not what friends 'do'. I understand that things are too tender and too complicated for you both to be in a relationship right now but why are you so determined to be friends. I don't get why you want to put a title on what you are. Why can't you just be Bella and Jake and stop trying to follow this imaginary set of rules of what you are meant to be. No one is judging you, none of us are going to be annoyed if you are friends with benefits or a couple or just friends, we just want you to be happy! Stop being so hard on yourselves, you're young and not ready for a relationship so just go with the flow and stop trying to obey rules that you are inevitably going to break. So what if you share the odd kiss or more, it will be a decision _both _of you make and can you honestly tell me you don't love one another?' she finished, taking a deep breath.

That was a _big _speech but still Jake and I were silent. I didn't know what to say to her suggestion, it sounded like a good idea in many ways. If it meant that there would be less confusion in my life then I would be more than happy but what did Jake think? Abi was clearly frustrated at our lack of response.

'Jake' she stated and I looked up to see him look at her in question.

'Do you love Bella?' she asked and I froze in my seat. He turned to look at me and said;

'Yes of course I love her' in a strong voice.

I knew this and yet it still made my heart stop to hear him say it. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his as Abi addressed me.

'And you Bella, do you love Jake? She asked and I nodded my eyes still locked on his.

'Yes, yes I love him'.

'Ok, Jake do you regret what happened between you and Bella last weekend? Abi asked. Jake hesitated and then he broke our eye contact to look at the table.

'I regret hurting her' he said his brow furrowed.

'You didn't hurt me' I said in a rush, grabbing one of his hands in my own.

'I promise you didn't' but he shook his head.

'Bells the bruises...' he began but I cut him off and in my hurry to reassure him the truth came spilling out.

'I liked the bruises Jake, I did, really'.

Somewhere in the background I could hear Abi saying;

'I told you so' but I was barely aware of her now.

'Do you regret it Bells?' Jake asked; a haunted look in his eyes.

'No I don't. As long as it doesn't destroy us I don't regret it.'

'Ahem I think what she actually said was that it "was good at the time"' chirped Abi and I pulled my hand from Jake to hide my face in embarrassment.

I was going to kill Abi.

Then I felt Jake pulling my arms from my face and his signature grin was back as I flushed even deeper.

'I don't know what you're grinning at Mr Black I'd say Bella gave you the time of your life as well' Abi put in and it was Jake's turn to blush too.

When we both finally recovered Abi spoke again in a softer tone.

'So you are better now. No more rules? No more strictly friends? Just Bella and Jacob?' she asked and I looked at Jake. We nodded together and he said softly;

'Just Bells and Jake' I shivered at my nickname as he took my hand again.

'Just to make things less complicated I think you should both agree to stay away from other people' Abi suggested and I started.

The idea of Jake with someone else made my blood run cold although I didn't quite know why.

I looked at him to find his jaw set.

I knew what he was thinking about.

Edward.

Jake had had to see me with Edward and I realised now how truly difficult that must have been for him; to have to share me, knowing that he was getting the smaller half. The idea of having to do that with Jake made me feel sick. How cruel had I been to him?

I spoke with confidence in my voice.

'No one else' he looked at me and I could see in his eyes that he really wanted to believe me but that he was afraid to do so.

'Just us two Jake' finally I saw that he trusted me and he smiled.

'Just us' he confirmed.

'Brilliant!' exclaimed Abi hugging me.

'Also that was perfect timing because Jared is on the way to meet us and we're all going to the cinema in Port Angeles' she announced and I laughed. She was clearly confident in her abilities to reconcile Jake and I.

Jake cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow, looking at Abi.

'So Abi, what exactly is the story with…'

She cut him off blushing.

'I owe you an ice cream. What flavour do you want?'

Jake laughed and ordered cookie dough and she left the booth to join the queue.

Then it was just Jake and I, holding hands on the table.

'I missed you Bells' he said squeezing my hand.

I took my hand from his and he looked up in confusion but then I got up and made my way round to sit beside him.

'I missed you too' I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him close. He returned the hug and I felt his heat warm me from the inside out. Then as we pulled back from the hug he planted a soft kiss on my cheek and I couldn't help but smile.

'That is to say sorry because I know I did hurt you, no matter what you say' he said but I shook my head.

'I told you, I liked the bruises and well the other…' I tailed off looking down.

He put his finger beneath my chin and pulled my head up again to look him in the eye.

'What do you mean Bells? How on earth could you like that?' he asked, looking confused. I took a deep breath before I replied.

'Because they reminded me off you, they reminded me off that night' somehow I managed to maintain eye contact as I said this and then I saw him smile and before I knew it he had leant down and pecked me quickly on the lips.

I cocked my head to the side;

'What was that one for?' I asked.

'It was to test our new no rules approach' he said grinning at me and I laughed. Just then Abi returned with the ice-cream and shortly after Jared joined us, pecking Abi lightly on the cheek as he sat and making her giggle.

**Jacobs POV**

Inside I was singing and for the first time in five days my wolf too was happy. Abi had somehow managed to heal the rift between Bella and I and also provide some sort of basis for the future. I wasn't sure if it was going to work but it was worth a try, I was sick of feeling worried and miserable all of the time.

I would have liked to have spent some time alone with Bella but as there were only four of us I was able to talk with her more than I would have thought. We debated over the movie and somehow Abi managed to talk all of us into the newest romantic comedy. I was beginning to realise just how persuasive she was.

Outside the ice-cream place Jared and I had a bit of a problem; he was insisting that he drive and I was having none of this. It was becoming a little heated until I heard a roar behind me and we both turned to find Bella in her truck and Abi laughing hysterically behind us.

Grumbling I made my way over to the truck and got into the passenger side beside Bella as Jared and Abi got into the back. I looked over to her to find her grinning at my disgruntled face and before I knew it I was smiling too.

When we got to Port Angelus we were just in time for the movie. I grabbed Bella's hand as we ran for the cinema doors. We ordered our popcorn and drinks quickly and snuck into the movie just as the trailers were ending. The movie was the typical girl stuff although it had elements of humour which Jared and I appreciated. As I finished my popcorn and Bella laced her fingers through mine I couldn't help but remember the last time we had been at the cinema together. How things had changed. Now I was a werewolf and Bella was a lot better than she was back then and now she was choosing to hold my hand. I smiled at her and squeezed and she smiled back. On the other side of me Jared and Abi were lost in their own little world.

By the time we left the cinema I was starving and so was Jared so we went for some hotdogs. Then as we were making our way back to the car park Bella discreetly slipped something into my hand. I looked down and realised that she had given me the keys to the truck. I whopped and waved them in Jared's face and then ran as he chased, behind me I could hear both Bella and Abi laughing.

The grin that stretched across my face was irrational but the child in me always came out when I was with any of the boys. The drive home became quiet and soon I realised that Bella was asleep; she must have had a hard week studying. I didn't want to wake her but the problem of both my car and Jared's still being at the ice-cream place loomed. When we stopped Jared made for his own car with Abi. He looked questioningly at me when I didn't get out of the truck but I whispered to him that I was going to take Bella home and then run back for my car, it wouldn't take me long. He nodded and left with Abi and I pulled slowly out of the lot.

I could have woken Bella but I didn't want to; she looked so peaceful and besides I didn't want her driving when she was this tired. The drive back to her house was quick and even as I parked she slept. I crept round to her side, opened the door and scooped her into my arms. She groaned but then settled against my chest making my heart hammer. I eased the door open quietly and as I entered Charlie came down the hallway;

'Bella…' he started but I put my finger to my lips and gestured and he got the message. I took the stairs quickly and pushed open the door of her room. It was tidy as usual but the desk and the bed were strewn with books and folders which affirmed my earlier suspicions. I pulled the covers back and when I did my heart stopped. There, poking out from underneath her pillow was my t-shirt. The one I had given her last weekend. She must have been wearing it to bed. The thought made my heart leap with unexplained joy and with regret I set her on the bed and pulled the cover over her.

**Charlies POV**

I had only gone upstairs to use the bathroom and yet as I went to pass Bella's room I couldn't help but look in and then I paused. Jake was standing over her, watching her sleeping and then he leant and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. The act however woke Bella.

'Jake' she whispered, confused.

'I'm sorry Bells I didn't mean to wake you' he replied.

'No, I'm glad you did at least now I can say goodnight, thanks for bringing me home.'

'I didn't want to wake you, you must have had a busy week' he said.

'Yeah, but it's better now that we're fixed' I heard Bella say, supressing a yawn.

'Can I see you tomorrow?' she asked.

'I'm sorry Bells but I don't know. I have to see the boys, I've been avoiding them all week but I'll try and I'll text you to let you know' Jake replied to her.

'That's ok, I understand' she said.

'Goodnight Bells.'

'Goodnight Jake.'

Jake started to back toward the door and I continued my way down the hall, I didn't want him to think I had been eavesdropping. Yet even from where I now was I heard him say;

'Don't forget that I love you.'

And I heard her reply.

'I won't as long as you remember that I love you too.'

What on earth was going on?

Were Bella and Jake an item?

This didn't make any sense to me, Bella had been in bad form all week and by the sounds of it, it had something to do with Jake. Yet I don't see why she wouldn't have told me if Jake was now her boyfriend. She knew that I liked him and surely if they were together Billy at least would know and he would have told me.

I seriously didn't get teenagers at all.

Finally I went back downstairs; I knew that Jake was the kind of kid who wouldn't leave until he had first explained why he had come into the house carrying my daughter. It was one of the reasons why I liked him. He was decent and he knew his place.

'Hey Charlie' he said when I entered the kitchen.

'Hey Jake, so what was the story with Bella?' I asked as I cracked open a beer. I offered him one but he shook his head.

'Jared and I met her and Abigail at the ice-cream place in Forks but we arrived separately so then we all went in Bellas truck to the cinema in Port Angelus. I drove home and on the way she fell asleep, I left Jared and Abigail back at his car at the ice-cream place but I didn't want to wake Bella and I didn't want her driving so tired so I just took her on home. I'm gonna run back and collect my car now, it isn't far' he explained. This was why I liked Jake, he always looked after Bella; I knew I could rely on him. Still, I didn't want him going back on his own in the dark for his car so I insisted I drove him over and eventually he agreed.

**Bellas POV**

I woke late on Saturday after having the best night's sleep in nearly a week. After the weekend with Jake the nightmare about him leaving had been worse than ever and they were still peppered with golden and black eyes which I didn't want to think about. I had a shower and went downstairs for some breakfast. Charlie was there already, on the phone to someone talking animatedly but he hung up shortly after I arrived.

'Bella' he started sitting down opposite me as I poured a bowl of cereal.

'Would you mind if I went to Seattle for the night? We haven't seen a lot of each other recently and I understand if you don't want me to go. Just say the word' he said and I smiled.

'Of course I don't mind, I'll be fine and we'll go out for dinner some night during the week when you're back. We've both been busy of late'.

'Thanks Bells' he replied smiling.

He made a quick phone call to confirm that he was going and then went upstairs to pack. It occurred to me as I washed my bowl that he had never told me why he was going to Seattle or who with.

That was strange.

Although the thought thoroughly depressed me I knew that I would have to do some studying today. The exams were looming ever closer and I was beginning to feel nervous. I also only had to the end of the week to send away my college applications and the thought was making me jumpy. I sighed as I sat at my table and pulled my work toward me. I looked set for a boring day; I knew that Jake would have a lot of making up to do with the pack so I wasn't holding out for any hope of seeing him.

**Jakes POV**

It was time to phase and I was absolutely dreading it. I had went and apologised to Sam last night when I got home and told him that I would run patrol first thing tomorrow to try and make up my missed times. He grunted and tried pushing me for reasons but I didn't give in, there was no reason why he needed to know what had happened between me and Bella. That was private although I was afraid that it wasn't going to be for much longer. I really didn't want the pack to know what happened and yet I didn't know if I had the strength to shield my thoughts so completely from them; especially when they were all itching to read them.

I took a deep breath and walked out to the crisp morning air naked then ran for the woods, phasing as I did so.

I was greeted immediately by Quil and Embry. Clearly Sam was hoping that they would be able to get the story out of me and then he could find out. Well good luck to them because I was on lock down as far as Bella was concerned. Sam's thinking was seriously flawed, Quil and Embry would not push me for details.

'_Morning bro, good to have you back'._

'_Morning Em, sorry for leaving you guys in the lurch'._

'_Don't worry about it. We can handle Sam and his bad mood, it's getting kinda permanent' Quil said and I saw from his head that we weren't far apart. _

_We were silent for a while as we patrolled the borders and I tried to keep my thoughts as far from Bella as was possible. They could sense my determination and I could feel their concern for me._

'_Do you want to talk about it?' asked Embry._

'_No' I replied and then feeling rude I elaborated._

'_I mean I would tell you guys, I kind of want to tell you, I could do with some advice but I want to tell you when we're human. I don't want for you to see it in my head, I don't want anyone to. I'm afraid though if I do tell you that you won't be able to hide it from the rest of the guys and I know it's not your fault'._

_This was one of the many times when being a wold became difficult. These guys were my friends long before all this shit happened and I wanted to confide in them the way most guys did but I didn't want them to find out by seeing it in my head. Those images were just for me, I wanted no one else to see Bella that way._

'_We get it mate. You know that we'll try and keep it from the rest of the pack if we can although we aren't as good as blocking as you are but everyone has pretty much guessed that something happened in that bed with you two. Perhaps if you tell us and then we try and hide it but then if guys get it from us they'll feel like they have succeeded in some way and so they won't pester you. Then you can have a better chance of keeping those images to yourself' Quil suggested and I could see the sense in this. If the rest of the pack felt they had gained something then they might back off. I could do with that._

_Quil sensed my pleasure at his suggestion and I thanked him._

'_No worries bro. I'll bring some beers by later and we'll play a bit of the PlayStation and you can tell us what's up if you want to'._

_I felt Em agree and so we went back to our own thoughts, trying to stay out of each others heads as much as we could. When the three of us ran together we always did this, our friendship went back a long way and we didn't want it to be lost to the pack. We wanted it to exist of its own accord, separate from our wolf brothers and for this to happen we had to try and respect each other's thoughts, to trust that if we wanted the others to know something that we would come and tell them. So far it had worked and Sam hadn't been able to blend us much to his frustration._

_We ran through the morning and the afternoon and then we were relieved by Sam, Jared and Seth as evening set in. As predicted Sam tried to pry as soon as his mind joined ours but I met him with a brick wall of resistance. He was getting nothing on me._

'_You can go now. Jake you're on patrol tomorrow night, Quil tomorrow morning and Embry on Monday morning'. _

_His tone irked me as he issued the order but I phased before this feeling could be picked up on or interrogated._

I was starving by the time I got home but I was slick with sweat from running all day too so I decided to take a shower before I got something to eat. As always my Dad treated my nudity as though it was nothing out of the normal as I strolled through the house, frankly it _was_ nothing out of the normal. I was thankful that Rebecca and Rachel didn't live at home anymore; somehow I didn't think they would be so pleased. It must be so difficult for Leah and Seth to have to cope with that side of the wolf.

As always the searing hot shower made me feel a lot better and by the time I got out and pulled on some boxers and shorts Dad had already started the cooking. It wasn't the greatest meal I had ever had but it filled me all the same. I grabbed my phone as I finished and typed out a message to Bella, annoyed that I couldn't see her tonight. Yet I appreciated my friends and they had been very understanding so it was only right that I gave them some time and an explanation too.

**Hey Bells how's your day been? Did you sleep well last night? I'm only back from running patrol all day and I'm really sorry but I owe some time to Quil and Embry so I'm not going to be able to see you tonight. **

I sent the message just as Quil and Embry arrived bringing the promised beers. Billy was going to Sues so I left him over as the boys warmed up the PlayStation. By the time I returned Bella had replied.

**Hey Jake my day has been ok, mostly studying. Yeah I had a really good night's sleep, thanks again for taking me home. That's OK I don't feel so good anyway so I doubt I would have been good company. I'm just gonna have an early night. Enjoy your boys night and tell Quil and Embry I said Hello. **

I was concerned to hear that she wasn't feeling well and I wanted nothing more than to rush to her side but I couldn't leave the boys and besides, it didn't sound that bad. I replied quickly as the boys called me for my game and I passed on her message.

**Aw Bells that's not good, I'm really sorry that I can't come over and look after you but maybe an early night will help. I really hope so. I'll call over in the morning to see if you're any better. The guys say hey back. Night, night, I'm thinking of you.**

As I began my quest to annihilate Quil and Embry at the war game we were playing my phone flashed once more. I was able to read it in one hand whilst running form Quils well placed grenade at the same time.

**Thanks Jake but don't worry it's nothing serious just a funny tummy, I'm sure I'll be a lot better by the morning. Looking forward to seeing you then. Night, night.**

I was glad to be reassured that she wasn't gravely ill yet it still felt wrong for me to be here enjoying myself while she was feeling unwell. Already I couldn't wait until the morning to see her.

**Bellas POV**

I was an idiot. What with being so concerned over Jake and I not speaking I had completely forgotten that my period was due this weekend, as a result I hadn't taken any pain killers beforehand and now my stomach was wrecked with cramps. I groaned as I wrapped my arm around my middle, it was times like this that I hated being a woman.

Charlie had left mid-morning and I had stuck to my regime of studying although I had gotten very little done. Now I was home alone and not enjoying it one little bit. I didn't know if my experience in the woods last weekend was attributing to my feeling of unease but the fact remained that I was very jittery. I kept hearing noises everywhere and although I tried to convince myself that it was nothing I felt uncomfortable and nervous. I tried to ignore all of this and went to the living room to watch some TV.

Some hours later though, despite trying to reassure myself I was frozen with fear and I couldn't convince myself that I was being irrational. I lay on the sofa trying to breathe calmly but I was sure that in the next blink there would be someone in the room with me. I fumbled for my phone and found it beside me, before I had time to even process what I was doing I had rang the only person I wanted to see at that minute. The only person who could keep me truly safe and the person I knew that without doubt would come and reassure me.

**Jakes POV**

It was nearly 11pm and my brothers had already left; we had had a long day of running and even the wolf got tired. I had just brushed my teeth and was about to get into bed when my mobile began to ring, I lifted it instantly.

'Jake'. It was Bella, of course it was but why was she ringing? Immediately I became concerned. She told me hours ago that she was going to bed. Was she sicker than she had initially thought? I should have gone to see her earlier.

'Bella, what's wrong?'

'I, I don't know. Charlie has gone out of town for tonight and I'm, I'm frightened, I'm sorry, I don't know why' she barely whispered.

'I'm on my way' I said and dropped the phone.

Why hadn't she told me that Charlie was out? I would never have left her in the house alone after what happened last weekend. It had reiterated to me just how vulnerable she was, how much of a target. I phased as soon as I was out of the house, I could get there quicker as my wolf. My heart was thumping in my chest as I ran. The rational part of me knew that there was probably nothing to worry about but this rational part was being overrun by the thought of someone in the house with Bella. Above all of that I was poignantly aware that regardless of whether there was a threat or not Bella was frightened.

Thankfully I was at her house shortly and as I was beyond relieved to hear only Bellas heartbeat within the house. Yet I was also aware of how fast it was; she was terrified. I phased and pulled on the shorts that I had tied around my ankle. I walked up the porch steps quietly and opened the door.

'Bells it's me' I said as soon as I did, not wanting to frighten her even more.

She appeared in the hall almost immediately, her eyes wide and her breathing quick. She was as pale as a ghost and had her arms wrapped her middle but she strode over to me quickly and I engulfed her in my arms. She was trembling. I held her tightly as she burrowed her head into my chest and breathed deeply.

Something was wrong.

'I'm sorry' she whispered 'I don't know why I felt so frightened, thank you for coming'.

'Of course' I replied 'You should have told me that Charlie was out of town; I wouldn't have let you stay here alone'.

She nodded against my naked chest and whispered her thanks again but still there was something wrong, something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

She smelt different, somewhere, faintly I could smell blood but it didn't smell right.

I was confused and worried.

I pulled away from and looked down at her;

'Bells, are you hurt?' I asked frowning.

'No' she said shaking her head.

'But I can smell blood. I think' I said and she pulled away from me altogether.

'Not you too' she sighed and made her way toward the kitchen.

Now I was completely lost, what the hell was going on?

I followed her hesitantly trying to work out why I could faintly smell blood if she wasn't hurt.

Then as I met Bella in the kitchen and she flicked the light on, I took in her pale face and her arm which she had put back around her stomach and it hit me.

Fuck, I was an idiot.

She had her period. I didn't know much about it but that must be why she smelt different and why the smell of blood was so faint. It also explained the messages earlier about her not feeling well. I was totally insensitive and so out of my depth here.

She was standing by the counter, looking at her feet.

I went over to her and made to hug her but she moved out of my reach blushing.

'Bells, I'm sorry' I said 'I understand, I'm an ass, please forgive me?' I asked.

She shook her head.

'It's just so embarrassing' she muttered. 'That you know, that you can smell…' she trailed off.

'Bells, it's not a bad smell and I can barely even smell it. It's just different, more… womanly' I said, trying to reassure her. It was the truth too, the smell didn't bother me at all, it was a subtle difference but my wolf was aware of it and although I could hardly say it to Bella, he noticed because it was a sign of her fertility. My wolf was a primal creature to whom things like this were important.

For me, the human though my concern was that she didn't feel well and that I had now made her paranoid on top of that.

'Are you just saying that? Edward…' she paused and gulped 'Edward, couldn't stand it, he had to stay away from me'.

'That is gross Bells' I said bluntly and saw a sliver of a smile on her face.

'I mean, really, really gross, that he thought of you as drinkable in regards to _this_. It's a new low, even for him. I can assure you that it doesn't bother me in the slightest, like I said I barely notice'.

In fact, although it was really strange and I didn't want to dwell on it, the smell made my wolf happy, content. I tried to shake these thoughts away as she looked up at me.

'Promise me you're telling the truth?' she asked.

'I promise. Bells, it's not a big deal, it's natural, normal just please tell me you don't turn into as big a witch as Rebecca used to?' I asked and finally I saw a proper smile grace her ghostly features. This time when I approached her for a hug she fell into my arms easily. We stood there for a while until I heard her groan into my chest. I pulled back.

'Oh I'm sorry Jake but I really don't feel good' she said and I grimaced in sympathy. I hated that she felt awful and that there was nothing I could do for her.

'Have you taken some pain relief?' I asked and she nodded.

'Yes, but I can't find my hot water bottle anywhere and it's the only thing that helps' she complained.

'Come on, let's lie down' I said and guided her toward the living room.

I lay on the inside of the sofa and she came and cuddled up beside me, her head on my chest. She flicked the TV on and I could hear her breathing deeply, her forehead scrunched up. I leant over and lifted up the bottom of her vest top, she turned and looked at me in confusion but when I put my hand on her flat stomach I saw understanding in her eyes before she closed them and sighed. I began to move my hand in circles, rubbing the heat of my hand into her sore tummy.

'Thank-you' she whispered with her eyes still closed. Before I could stop myself I leant down and kissed her forehead.

'You're welcome' I replied and I saw her smile.

We lay there for a while and gradually Bella began to relax beneath my touch. Before she fell asleep I suggested she went to bed and she nodded in agreement. As she rose she returned her arm to her waist and gave another small moan.

'Gosh I don't half wish I was a man right now' she said and I laughed.

'Well I'm glad you're not Miss Swan' I said in reply and she smiled.

'Come on' she said as she made for upstairs and I followed.

I suppose it would have been stupid for me to stay on the sofa after everything last weekend and besides we weren't applying rules anymore. We were just doing 'Bells and Jake' although I wasn't quite sure what that was either.

I tried not to think like this as I got into bed whilst Bella went to the bathroom. She came back, still looking wan and I cuddled her close as she got in beside me. I tried to hide my massive grin at the fact that she was wearing my t-shirt tucked into a pair of sweats. That would not look cool and probably make her even more self-conscious. We lay beside each other for a while but I couldn't sleep and I knew by the sounds of her heartbeat that she wasn't either yet the silence was comfortable. After some time Bella spoke as though continuing a conversation we had been having.

'That was one of the hardest things you know about being with Edward'.

'What was Bells?' I asked.

It was rare to hear her mention him and yet tonight alone she had said his name twice. I didn't know how this made me feel. It was good that she was healed enough to be able to talk about him. Yet I hated to imagine her thinking off him, especially when she was with me, the idea made my blood boil. I wondered why, after all this time she was talking about him now, here with me. Why was she thinking about him tonight in particular?

'Knowing that there would never be children, not ever. It was something I couldn't quite get my head around'.

So that why.

'So you want children?' I asked her holding my breath and felt her nod beside me.

'Yeah, I really do. I mean, not now but ever since I was a little girl I imagined that I would end up married and with kids. I know that my Mum and Dads marriage didn't work out but it never put me off. It was weird for me to think that half of that picture would never be there'.

'Yet you were going to marry him anyway? You were prepared to give children up?' I asked trying not to sound accusatory.

'Yes' she answered but then she elaborated 'But I never really thought it through. I mean, I was so, so infatuated or whatever it was with him that I couldn't imagine a life without him. I was prepared to give up everything for him, without questioning it' she said.

'But you told me when we first saw one another after I came back that him leaving again had changed that?' I asked, knowing that we were on fragile ground here.

'It did. When he said he was leaving again, everything changed. There was no way I could still justify giving up everything for him when he was prepared to leave me again, I couldn't continue to ignore the facts' she stopped and I maintained silent. Then she spoke again.

'I have tried to tell myself that everything changed when he left but now I'm not sure that was when it happened. I think it all changed when you and I shared that kiss, just before the battle. When I kissed you Jake I saw what my life would be like with you and in that life I saw laughter and happiness and, and children' she concluded her voice catching. My mind was reeling at her revelation but she hadn't finished.

'Then I shattered your heart; that decision was the hardest I've ever had to make and yet I still wasn't sure if I was making the right one. The idea of changing my mind, of choosing you was so terrifying and I wasn't brave enough to make it, especially because I just didn't know who was right for me. So the easiest option was to stick with Edward. Then you left and Alice wanted to organise the wedding and the idea terrified me. I told her that there would be no wedding without you although I think that might have been an excuse to delay. By that stage I was thinking of you, almost constantly, I even dreamed about you and still I was plagued as to whether I had made the wrong decision. When Edward told me he was leaving, it was the final nail in the coffin, I knew that it wasn't normal to be thinking of you as much as I was and now he was leaving I became convinced that we couldn't be fixed. I didn't want us to be fixed. I wasn't as sure about him as I had first thought and although I didn't know if you and I were meant to be I knew that Edward and I had to separate'.

This was a huge speech for Bella. We tried to avoid any mention of the confusing past that we had shared and the part Edward had played in that and now she was telling me everything. My heart leapt to hear that our kiss had planted a seed in her mind; I was delighted that she thought of me when she was with Edward. The knowledge that she had never been sure about her decision to choose Edward gave me hope for the future that had not been there before but I could not forget that she had not chosen me at that critical moment. I had tried to tell her that we were meant to be but she had not listened and in the process she had very nearly destroyed me. I wasn't sure whether I would ever be able to forget that.

'I was always telling you that I was the natural course for you. I was absolutely certain that we were meant to be together, I knew that I could love you for the rest of our lives, I could make you happy and I could give you children. Together we could raise a family and live our lives the way it was meant to be. Yet it all changed in that room when you chose him. I had to go away, to try and put my heart back together and realise that there was no hope for you and I. To realise and reconcile myself with the fact that my future would not be as I had hoped, as I had been so certain was within my reach. Now look at me. Still hopelessly in love with you and yet can we be as I first hoped? You just said yourself that you aren't sure if you and I are meant to be'.

There was a silence and then she spoke.

'You want children too then?'

'Yes Bella. My dream is the same as yours, married and with children, a happy, healthy, natural life. But I think we both need more time, we need to wait before we decide if we'll share that dream together. Right now we aren't ready and we're still young so I think we should live like regular teenagers and leave those decisions for later'.

I was praying that I hadn't hurt her feelings. Praying that she understood where I was coming from. Praying that she knew I still loved her and that I wasn't ruling out a future for us, I just needed time, I think we both did.

To my immense relief she nodded.

'Yeah Jake I think you're right. I have a lot of catching up to do on teenage life and I plan to do it with you'.

I smiled and pulled her closer and together we fell asleep, dreaming the same dream and hoping that one day we would be healed enough and ready to share it together.

**Aros POV**

I paced the marble floor, pondering.

Alice and Edward Cullen had finally accepted my invitation to join us and they had been here for a number of months. As foreseen I was right about the value of their skills and yet this did not bring the gratification I had anticipated. They were not appreciative of my invitation and did not enjoy their time amongst us. It made things…problematic.

There had been another motive for the invitation other than the acquisition of their skills. The Cullen clan had become large and disruptive of late and it had made me uncomfortable. The Volturi existed because of the control it held over other vampires, a clan who rivalled us in numbers and who had skills could not be tolerated. In order to keep things civil I had instructed Alice and Edward that they could each bring their mates with them. Alice had brought Jasper with her and I had been contented to acquire another member with skills; it was a welcome bonus. Edward however had turned up alone.

This had chagrined me somewhat and I had quizzed him on the topic. He had told me that he intended to return to Bella once he was finished with the Volturi. This indicated to me that he envisioned staying with us for a very limited amount of time as Bella remained human. I could see from his thoughts that she had terminated their relationship and yet Edward seemed determined to return to her.

I had specifically advised him to turn Bella, to make her one of us and yet she remained human. Edward had passed this off as a small matter; Bella would be one of us once he returned to her. The Volturis advise was not to be disregarded or delayed as long as the Cullens had done so. It was somewhat insubordinate and I was irresolute that the change would occur when Edward returned to Bella. For a start Bella had not indicated that she wanted Edward to return. This concerned me. I had been keen to see Bella as a vampire and to explore her resistance to others powers. Surely as a vampire these would be more progressive, feasibly she could extend the barrier of her mind to encompass others. The idea possessed me but my mind was no longer the safe haven it was.

Edwards ability had no doubt been advantageous whilst he had been with us but I did not like the way he had access to my every thought as well. It was…unfitting. I wanted to retain him here and yet I wanted my thoughts veiled. It seemed evident to me that Bella was the only possible option to accomplish this. My notion may not prove true but it was worth a try. Edward was clearly disinclined to change Bella so I should do it myself and then his problem would be resolved. He would be eager to stay once Bella was among us, as one of us and I would hopefully have her fortification.

I knew that Edward would not find this plan to his taste; he sought Bella as a mate forever but he was unable face the duty of changing her and so I would do it. I would need to keep away from the Cullens as much as conceivable and guard my thoughts when I had to interact with them. I knew from the Cullens thoughts that there were werewolves in the area and that Bella was particularly fond of one. They were an inconvenience that we would have to circle; it shouldn't be overly problematic.

I would dispatch scouts to Forks immediately to bring Bella to Italy for the change.

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><p><strong>So? What do you all think? Please, please let me know, you have no ideas how much your reviews make me smile and I promise I will try and get back to you all as soon as possible this time. Excited for the next chapter already, eek. <strong>


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